Solitary Lady

Chapter 5

The two gaped at the mess on the dining table and me sitting there alone.

“What is going on here?”

Realizing what he was seeing, Father spoke in a low voice with an icy expression.

Ricardo walked up to me with quick footsteps and grabbed my arm roughly. He whispered quietly so that our father could not hear him.

“Hillis, what do you think you’re doing?”

I twisted my arm out of his grasp.

“It’s not like I’m somewhere I shouldn’t be. What is all this fuss?”

Ricardo frowned at my nonchalant response.

“Do you think this is just about you being in the dining hall? I am talking about your bad manners.”

He must have been holding back his temper because he felt bad about what had happened in the garden, but his patience had seemingly reached its limit.

“I let things slide earlier, but this is just intolerable. How could you be so disrespectful? If you were going to eat in the dining hall, you should have waited until Father arrived!”

Ricardo was actually lecturing me, just like an older brother scolding his little sister. That being said, my reply stopped him from continuing this act that did not suit him in the first place.

“I would only lose my appetite eating with you. Why would I do that?”

Ricardo looked baffled by my response. Clearly, he had never imagined I would say such a thing.

“Hillis! What’s with this attitude?”

A loud shout boomed from behind him.

“I let you off until now since Ricardo said you must have been shocked today as well, but I will not tolerate this any longer!”

If Ricardo had said that to him, then it was not purely on my behalf. He obviously wanted to ease the guilt he felt about what happened in the garden.

“How could you be so rude to your father and older brother? Is this what I taught you?”

I cocked my head as Father went into a wild rage.

What he taught me? What a funny thing to say.

“No. That’s not what you taught me,” I answered coolly as I watched him step toward me.

“Yet your appalling behavior just now—”

“To be precise, you haven’t taught me anything your whole life, Father.”

“W-what?”

My father stopped in his tracks. He looked like he had no clue what I was talking about. Ricardo and the staff standing nearby all took a sharp breath.

This entire scene just felt like a boring act performed by lame actors. I continued to speak my mind to the man standing in front of me.

“You have never acted like a real father to me my entire life. I am sure you know that as well.”

My father had neglected me ever since I was born. He ignored my entire existence and sometimes watched me with scornful eyes as if he had just discovered an old stain on the wallpaper.

“Honestly, it’s a joke to call us father and daughter. We’re no better than strangers.”

I could have said the same for Ricardo, but the responsibilities of a parent and an older sibling are quite different. Whatever my father said about raising me or teaching me was absolute nonsense. I had always kept such thoughts to myself, but now I felt no need to suppress them.

Watching my father’s quivering eyes, I put down the teaspoon I was holding.

“I must be lacking manners because I haven’t been taught any by my father nor my brother. I’ve grown up like this my entire life, so it can’t be helped. It is your fault for not educating your child properly. So if you truly regret it, you can reflect on what you’ve done, although it’s already quite late for that.”

My father was rendered speechless by my words, and Ricardo was, too. I stood up from my seat without finishing the last spoonful of my raspberry sorbet.

“You have never done your duties as a parent, so don’t come looking to exercise your authority as one after all this time.”

I turned my gaze toward the staff who were standing nearby, stiff as statues.

“I had a nice meal.”

They fidgeted anxiously, at a loss for what to say. They had also been shocked by my behavior and were glancing silently at my father and Ricardo. But what I said after made them all widen their eyes in surprise.

“I hope you will stop bullying me, though. It’s pretty classless, isn’t it?”

“M-my lady, what...”

“I know you’ve been sending me leftovers from the dining hall.”

The napkin I had been holding dropped into the glass jar of sorbet. Red liquid soon began to stain the white cloth. I turned my back to the staff, now frozen in place, passed my father and Ricardo standing rigidly, and left the dining hall.

“What was Hillis talking about?”

“W-we do not know, young master. Lady Hillis must have been mistaken about something...”

I heard Ricardo start questioning the staff after regaining his senses. The voices of their frantic excuses grew further and further away. I returned to my room to lie down on my soft bed and fell asleep with a satisfied stomach.

* * *

“Come and greet them. They will be your mother and sister now.”

I was six back then. As I repeated several lives, this event became something of a distant memory for me. But it was also a turning point in my life. I could still remember the moment as vividly as if it had happened yesterday.

“It is lovely to meet you, children.”

My father had introduced us to a beautiful woman with honey-blond hair and eyes the color of jade. She was with her daughter, who was a year younger than me.

“Please take good care of Gabrielle.”

The pair looked shockingly similar to the portrait of my mother hanging in the corridor. I could tell from Ricardo’s face that he had instantly been captivated by both of them.

I also took a liking to them as they resembled my mother, who I had only seen in portraits. However, they did not invite me to join them in family gatherings, and so I had to spend more time alone in my room than ever before.

“Dad!”

I had spotted them in the garden one day as I opened my bedroom window. Gabrielle was running across the grass toward my father, her gleaming hair blowing in the wind. I almost cried out to stop her because I remembered the time my father had smacked away my hand when I had once tried grabbing his. The feeling of that sharp gaze left me holding onto my burning hand and watching him as he walked away coldly. Of course, I was worried about what he would do to Gabrielle.

No... Father will get angry. He doesn’t like it when we touch him first...

But he picked Gabrielle up with a warm smile that I had never seen before. Her happy laughter pierced my heart like shards of glass. Ricardo and my stepmother, who were standing nearby, walked over to them. Their smiles were as bright as the spring sun.

This shocked me. Something that I had once only daydreamed about was now happening in real life. Unlike what I’d imagined, the star of this beautiful scene was Gabrielle, and not me. Gabrielle was as beautiful as an angel, so it was natural for my father and Ricardo to love her.

I loved my stepmother and Gabrielle as well.

But even knowing that, I turned my back to the window and slid down to the floor with my hands over my ears. I pressed my hands against them harder and harder as the laughter from outside dug ever deeper into my head.