25 february 2023

Well anyone I know at school who reads this, do not speak about this please. This is my vent story. I talk about my trauma and my life experiences, my name is Hayden not mike.

I've cried tonight. Were in the present now I'm writing this on the date of 25 February 2023, I don't know why I'm writing. I guess I just can't stand mother. Around December last year I came home from school and she randact my room and even got my dad and one of my brothers involved. I was humiliated. She kept on telling me I could talk to her. But the last time I told her that I was actually feeling like a piece of shit she told me I was just experiencing hormones, I can't even tell her I'm in pain because she’ll just get mad. I was forced into the catholic church at 4 years old, I was being baby sat the time before and my mother gave me the decision to either stay home or try and go with them. The worst decision I made. My whole life. I could have stayed home and enjoyed life a little bit longer. Maybe if i did i would never have had to go. I went with them. Screaming children, loud music and at the very end we would hold hands and form a circle and chant hosanna, I make it seem like a cult but that's what it was. Those other kids hurt me alot one time they kicked me in the back of my leg and maybe that's why I keep on getting intense pains in my knees. I was bruised for 3 months so I guess that could be it. None of the adults, not even my own parents did anything to stop it, they weren't bothered. My sisters taught me how to draw, I guess though, I know Danni x is already a failure in itself, I had a whole story ready for it but i guess it might never be done. My home room teacher made us do work the other day about our strengths. And how the gospel would motivate us. I was too tired to get mad, it was disgusting though. Sometimes I feel like an extra, and I preferred when I was quieter last year. I hate the sound of my own voice and think that everyone else thinks the same. It annoys me when people comment about how I'm speaking more. Every year in the church that we used to go to we would have easter vigils were we would have to stay up all night. I was forced to stay up all night, next to kids who would abuse me, getting criticized for continuously falling asleep, for four years. We left that church because apparently it was a bad environment, not because of what I just listed but because my mother got into some sort of problem. We go to another church now. Nothing has changed since i've grown up its gotten worse.