Josey and Tor fell into a comfortable daily routine for the rest of the week: every morning Tor went for a run or used the weight machines in the apartment building’s gym while Josey slept in. Then they had breakfast together (which Tor usually prepared for them), before setting out for the day’s field trip. They went to the aquarium, the botanical gardens, a portrait gallery, and a sculpture show. They typically had lunch while out and returned to Josey’s apartment for a quiet evening of reading or watching TV. When they got hungry again, Tor would make dinner or they ordered take-out from the Chinese restaurant around the corner. Then they continued to read or watch TV until neither could keep their eyes open and they went their separate ways for bed.
Josey noticed that Tor became more relaxed as the days passed, which in turn made Josey more relaxed. He’d worried for a moment at the Natural History Museum that Tor would regret their deal, but something seemed to change about the other man after he told his Army stories and now there was more lightness in his manner. In fact, Tor hadn’t had an episode since that day and Josey was getting a better sense of the sort of person he really was.
Josey had anticipated that Tor was a responsible person, but his generosity came as a pleasant surprise. Despite his initial gruffness, Tor really enjoyed being around other people and he was a natural caretaker. He insisted on cooking meals for Josey and he made sure that he went to bed at a reasonable hour (“Melissa wants you back in prime condition,” he told a reluctant Josey one night). But Tor also enjoyed teasing and had a pretty good sense of humor. Every moment spent with him only further cemented Josey’s belief that they were soulmates.
But as happy as that thought made him, Josey reminded himself he still had to give Tor his space. There was a reason Tor had rejected him at first and he couldn’t ignore that. He was pretty certain it wasn’t about himself – Tor had said as much that first meeting – but his own experiences with rejection were hard to ignore. He’d been in a situation before where he thought he’d been loved, only to be horribly disappointed.
“I never want to have that experience again,” he thought as he and Tor sat on the couch in comfortable silence reading the children’s books from the library. “And especially not with Tor!”
Perhaps it was because of those thoughts, but that night Josey had terrible dreams. He was in the phone booth again; his socks were damp from the rain. He sobbed painfully as the phone on the other end continued to ring without any sign of being picked up.
“Please, please pick up!” Josey begged. “Please, Kristy, Tor…anybody! I don’t want to be alone!”
“Josey?” A voice spoke outside the booth and Josey jolted awake when a gentle hand touched his arm. Tor was leaning over him, his expression concerned in the dim outside light from the window. Josey sat up and rubbed his face - yes, his eyes were wet.
“Tor! Are you OK?” he asked.
Tor snorted. “I think that’s MY line. You were crying in your sleep…bad dream?”
Josey sighed and nodded. Tor nodded back.
“Do…you want to talk about it?” he asked.
Josey thought about it; he DID want to share with Tor, but he also wanted to prioritize giving Tor his space. He couldn’t burden Tor with his problems while the man was still trying to figure out his own issues. What if it made Tor resent him and he left Josey alone again?
In the end, Josey shook his head.
“I’m sorry, I…I’m not ready,” he said.
If Tor was disappointed, his expression didn’t show it. He nodded again…but he didn’t leave.
“What do you need, Josey?” Tor asked. “I’m here for you.”
Josey bit his lip before stammering, “C…could you stay with me tonight? You can sleep here on the bed with me…but just sleeping! I promise, no funny business – I’ll keep my hands to myself!”
Josey was afraid that Tor would move away in disgust (he wasn’t even certain that Tor was attracted to him – sure, they’d joked around, but that wasn’t the same thing). To his delight, Tor squeezed his hand and pulled the bedcovers down.
“Of course,” he said. “Shove over and make room.”
Josey shuffled over, his heart pounding with excitement and anxiety as Tor clambered onto the bed beside him. Tor laid his head on the pillow next to Josey’s and curled around him, pulling Josey into a protective embrace.
“Is this alright?” Tor whispered.
Josey couldn’t bring himself to speak, but he managed a nod. Tor smiled.
“Go back to sleep, Josey,” he said. “You’re not alone.”
Josey held back the tears of relief as he snuggled into Tor’s arms. He knew he shouldn’t let himself get his hopes up, but for tonight he was going to allow himself to believe that, perhaps, Tor was falling in love with him too.
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