“The moon is beautiful, isn’t it?” he asked, his lithe body sprawled in the silvery moonlight.

I wasn’t looking at the moon though. Only him.

“Yes, it is. I can hardly tear my eyes away.”

He turned to me then, a chuckle gracing his lips, black strands of hair falling across his face as he pulled himself up. His movements were slow, teasing, skin uncovered and covered again. He was enjoying this. As was I.

I found myself wandering closer, passing the open door, bare feet padding on the tatami mat, heart racing, lips parting.
“Don’t look at me like that,” Ryoichi said, smile widening.

“So should I take my Lord’s words as a love confession to Tsukuyomi? I’m sure he is enjoying the view of your body from the skies.”

I knelt down in front of him and he reached up, pulling my kimono open; his eyes wandered up and down my deliciously-bruising body, red marks deepening after his rough touch. “And now he is enjoying yours too.”

“Then should I shut the door?”

“Hotaka.” Ryoichi grabbed my chin and pulled me to his lips. Breaking the kiss, he breathed, “You, I love you.”

“Only poets try to say it in fancy ways.” I stopped to smile and kiss him again. “And you are no poet my Lord.”

“Please, we are alone. I am more than your lord like this.”

I licked my lips. “I love you too… Ryoichi.”
The air around him changed, subtle to most, but not to me. A magical warmth exuded from his skin; I ran the backs of my fingertips up his bared arm, absorbing the traces. He couldn’t feel it, he didn’t even know it was there, exiting his body in streams as it had all evening.

Blood rushed to my cheeks. Earlier. The hot water of the onsen surrounding us, steam rising up and up, our bared bodies relaxed and calm. I’d opened my eyes then. Not in the way most did when seeing the world around them. No, I saw vivid colours and magic. Purple bubbles floated in the soft wind, and Ryoichi sat amongst them all, growing magic that he couldn’t see. It clung to his blemished skin, to its creator, begging to stay longer.

Now that we had grown closer, each touch of mine sent it wild, responding to the budding feelings deep in his heart. I needed him to feel more. The magic would only last for so long, and I wanted every drop. I’d spent years looking for someone like him.

Smiling, I inched closer, fingers rolling down the defined muscles of his chest. Most vassals didn’t dare touch their lord so, but I wasn’t like them. The warmth of the onsen soared as I straddled his lap, Ryoichi stared but said nothing.

“You’ve wanted this and I am here to please.”

“Hotaka.”

I’d wanted it too. Somewhere, I’d fallen for him.

Ryoichi wrapped his arms around my chest, hands resting on my lower back. I smiled as the magic reached me, storing deep inside my own body, a blooming mental ecstasy.

Leaning to his ear, I brushed away his wet black hair and whispered, “It can be our secret. We’re here alone. We don’t even have to be lord and vassal… just two men who want each other. There is nothing wrong with that.”

Pressing the softest kiss to his neck, I faced him. Black eyes watched me hungrily, torn between duty and desire. I’d seen this look so many times before, and each time he’d picked duty. I would not let him pick it again.

“Perhaps…” I glanced away shyly, feebly attempting to slide back off his lap.

“No,” he growled and held me tighter. “Don’t move. I can’t admire you from far away. Here,” his hands moved, gliding along my soaked skin above and below water, “I can see everything. Almost everything.”

I whimpered before my Lord, his touch arousing all my senses. He’d touched me a thousand times, but not like this. All around him the magic grew, purple deepening to blue, then to black. I needed it, but I needed him more. Ryoichi didn’t hesitate then, lips finding skin, fervent, needy, wanting.

My Lord led us from the water. We’d made it as far as the inn’s futon before our bodies collided. Fingers rolled through hair, gripping, pulling, as limbs tangled. I straddled his bare hips, looking down at my Lord flustered and lustful. As our ecstasy grew, so did the magic. I breathed in his scent, breathed in his magic. It would all be mine. He would be mine.

The night had grown late; Tsukuyomi had continued on in the skies. Only once exhaustion had taken us and the tatami mats beneath us were slick with sweat did we notice the passing of time.

I sat before him now, my own body gorged on his magic, yet still hungry. The magic gained would keep me going for many months, but I wasn’t here for just a few extra months of life. I needed more.

“Would you care for some sake my Lor—Ryoichi?” I caught the look in his eyes and corrected myself quick enough. My fingers still brushed his skin, making my way to his shoulders. “Or I could call for a meal to be made.”

Ryoichi nodded. “Only a few cups tonight, I need a clear mind for the morning. We need to return to the real world.” He took my cheek in his palm, a sly smile forming. “I am not done with you yet, Hotaka. I’ll find a way for you to be by my side without issue. If that is what you want.”

I placed my hand over his as my heart lurched. “You would do that for me?”

He snorted. “Do you think this is the first time a vassal and lord have fallen for each other? You’ve proven your loyalty, your love.”

My eyes fell to my lap. I couldn’t look at him. This had to end. “Then we should toast.”

Leaving my lover, I hurried to the low table we’d pushed aside and poured two cups of sake. Ryoichi followed, kneeling next to me, our legs brushing together. I pressed a cup into his hand and lifted my own.

“Kampai, my Lord.”

“Kampai.”

“Your hands must be tired, let me.” I lifted my cup to his lips, tipping it until the clear sake flowed freely. Once empty, I stopped to refill. “I hope the sake pleases you.”

“Slow down.” He chuckled and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Tsukuyomi is blessing us with a long night.”

Taking a deep breath, I held it before letting it go gently. “You’re right. This night could last forever if we wished it.”

Slower this time, I continued to press the cup to his lips. Like me, Ryoichi couldn’t handle much sake before the room began to spin and words fell freely. Too many times in the years spent in his service had we ended up drunk out of our minds. I’d enjoyed my time, and my sake, but now I needed a clear head. No mistakes could be made.

But why did it have to be tonight?

Four years I had planned this moment, weighing up every action and interaction. Scenarios played over and over until just one way remained. First, I was to get him drunk until he passed out. It was always hard to wake him from those sleeps. Next I would say farewell to him and…
The next cup lifted to his lips with another pang in my chest, the sake flowing free once again.
I had to do this.

I had no choice.

If I waited, the magic would dwindle back to nothing, and I’d spent too long here eking it out, making his magic stronger. His kind were becoming too few now, and I couldn’t live without magic.

Ryoichi’s cheeks flushed in the moonlight, whether from my touch or the alcohol’s, I wasn’t sure. I’d grown to love this face, his crooked nose and lopsided smile, the way his lips would quirk when he was trying to be stern but he couldn’t help but laugh. I’d known from the start how this would end; it was the sole reason I was here. I just never expected this.

Sake cup discarded, my thumb rolled across Ryoichi’s bottom lip, wiping away droplets of alcohol. I licked them away, tasting the sweet tang.

“Ah I see, you would rather drink from me.”

I smiled and kissed him, breath lingering on his skin.

“Sake tastes better like this.”

“More,” he whispered, voice needy and wanting, hands reaching for me. “I want to drink from you.”

Ryoichi leant close, fingers pulling away my silken kimono, baring me fully to the moon once again.

“The moon—” Words caught in my throat. My chest hurt. “—Is very beautiful.”

He smirked against my neck, arms winding around my waist. “Yes, you are my poet, Hotaka.”

“L-Let me get you some more sake.”
I climbed to my feet and shuffled over to the door; I’d ordered two bottles to make sure. They sat neatly on a tray lined up perfectly.

“Hotakaaa,” Ryoichi called, crawling across the damp tatami mats, swaying with drunkenness. “You are too far from me.”

“Just a moment, my Lord.”

Behind the tray lay a sheath filled with a blade I’d used many times before. This time, however, regret filled both of us, overspilling from my body.

I have to.

“Hotakaaa, what did I tell you,” Ryoichi called once more, his breath now upon my skin, his voice luring me away. “Don’t call me that here.”

But if I do…

Turning my head to him, I kissed him, once, twice, lingering on his taste. “Ryoichi.”

One hand grasped at regret, the other dug fingernails in his shoulder. I forced a smile as the blade sunk into his chest. He cried out, confusion bubbling over his sweet-tasting lips, and horror clouded his black eyes.

I hadn’t planned to kill him quite like this, watching his life fade, stealing my lover away. But I couldn’t miss the opportunity. If I had waited any more, I…
My hands shook.

I didn’t want to watch.

Magic filled the room, swirling in a black miasma. I could feel my body soaking it in as my Lord grew heavy in my arms, blood running down his bruised skin. Bruises I’d made.

“Forgive me,” I choked out, my tongue thick and dry.

I lay him down, his sightless eyes far away now, my own filling with tears. I couldn’t cry though. My job was done. Mission complete.

I should be happy.

The moonlight bathed Ryoichi in its light once more, soft but cold. Tsukuyomi still watched us brightly.

“Forgive me,” I whispered to him, begging the deity for any kind of mercy.

The room was empty now, magic depleted, soul departed. I was alone. I knew I should have left by now, but my body was heavy and tears still fell.

I wrapped my bruised body in clean clothes, bruises he’d made, the kimono that smelt of him discarded. Returning to Ryoichi, I kissed his lips one last time while removing the blade. Wiping the blood on his black kimono, I returned it to the sheath filled with regret.

I didn’t look back as I exited the room. Clouds now covered the moon, bathing everything in darkness. I ran on and on, feet taking me further and further from where I wanted to be but… I had the magic now. I wouldn’t need to kill again any time soon.

I wish the moon wasn’t so beautiful.

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