William pulled me against him, his fingers so gentle but so rough at the same time. I hated what I was about to do to him. He went to pull my lips down to his, and I shoved him backwards against the rock wall of the bath. He groaned, grabbing his side in pain. The look of pain was all over his face, too. His eyes darkened, and he growled at me. 

“Now that I know I have your attention, and we are alone, we need to talk.” 

“Elias…”

“Quiet, William. I’ve had enough of you and your behaviour. You treat me horribly, and I can’t stand it. I only apologized because I said I hated you in the heat of the moment, but keep pushing it and I will hate you.”

“You didn’t need to hurt me.” He growled. 

“You don’t listen to me otherwise. I didn’t want to hurt you, believe me, William. I took no pleasure in hurting you. I am not a belonging. I am not something that you can do with what you please. Bonded to me or not, I will leave if you keep up this behaviour.”

“You are mine!” He snarled, His eyes blazing in the dimly lit room. A shiver went through me, and I sighed. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. He was going to fight me every step of the way. Backing away from him in the water, I moved to get out, and he yelled at me. “Where are you going?”

“Away, William. Before I do something we both regret and can’t come back from.” 

“We aren’t done talking!”

“If we keep talking, I might do more than hurt you lightly, and as much as you want to see me as a monster, I won’t live up to that.”

“You broke my ribs, Elias.”

“You broke my foot before. I believe we are fair now.” I replied hollowly. 

“Stay, please.” He hissed. 

“For what reason? Why do I need to stay William? You’ve treated me like a belonging since day one, and even now that you’ve tied yourself to me for life, you still aim to treat me like a belonging.”

“I’ll lose my mind without you, honestly.”

“You speak nonsense, and I won’t—--”

“I speak the truth, Elias!”

“I will only stay if you treat me like your equal, not a war prize, not someone to pay my father’s debts to you. A true equal.” 

He was growling, “Fine!”

“Glad you’re willing to walk on equal ground with me.”

“You’ve forced my hand!”

“I had to. We can be partners if one of us is below the other, not by choice.”

Pulling my clothing on, I started to leave. William snarled at me. “You said you would stay!”

“Relax, I’m only going home to warm the bed. I want to sleep now.”

Outside in the snow, I wiped tears from my eyes. I hated that I had to add to his pain and suffering from our kind. I felt terrible inside. It was crushing. My soul called out to him, through the blood bond, every step I took. I wanted to turn around and see if he was alright, and tell him how sorry I was for the pain I caused, but this was something I needed to stand firm on. If we were to be equals.

My shoulder sagged when I got inside the cabin. Putting wood on the fire, I sat there in the warmth, wiping tears as they fell. 

When I heard the door open, I wiped my eyes and looked at the fire. Holding back more tears. 

“I thought you were going to sleep.”

“I just wanted to warm up by the fire.”

“Come, bed will do us both good.”

“Go, I’ll be in shortly.”

I looked at him as he walked to the bedroom, his hand holding his ribs. Only when he closed the door, I cried again. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I cried harder. This blood bond was wreaking my emotions. The depth of the bond was overwhelming, and if this was only a small fraction of what wolves felt, then I couldn’t imagine how William was really feeling inside. 

Wiping my eyes for the last time, I debated crawling to the bed with William and his heat. But I was set on punishing myself for hurting him. Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the back of the chair. But no matter where I laid my head, that mark on my shoulder ached. 

I heard William get up before sunrise. I heard his footsteps until they stopped behind the chair. “You were supposed to join me in bed, Elias.”

“I will, go back—--”

“Get up, you’re going to bed.”

“I’m not tired.”

“Lay up and look at the ceiling all night, but you are coming to the bedroom.”

Standing up, William walked behind me the entire way to the bedroom. Lying down in the bed, I kept farther away from William than I had ever before. He noticed too and got closer. 

“You want us to be equal, so we can be partners, but you’re farther away than you were before.” William whispered into the dark of the room. “I don’t get it.”

I wanted to respond, but when I opened my mouth to speak, tears flowed freely again. That got William’s attention, and he sat up quickly, hurting himself, but reached out to me. Ignoring his own pain for my tears. 

“Why are you crying?” His voice panicked in a way I had never heard before. 

“I’m fine. Ignore me.”

He pulled me against him, flinching at the pain of the action. 

“Let go of me. I’m fine and you’re hurt.”

“I can take your anger, but this, I can’t.” William said, his voice echoing in the dark. “So please, tell me why you’re crying?”

“It’s not important. Go to sleep.” I said, going to wipe my tears, but William did it for me. In the silence and the warmth of the bed, William went to sleep, and I turned in his arms. Looking at his sleeping face, I set my hand on his cheek. 

“I’m so sorry I had to hurt you. I will never forgive myself.”

Putting space between us again, I closed my eyes and after some time; I fell asleep. I woke up when William yanked me back against him again. I grunted at him, and in the daylight, he touched my face. 

“You look terrible.”

“Thanks.” I hissed, trying to roll back over. He held me in that spot, though. He whispered, catching me off guard. “I meant what I said, Elias. I will go crazy if you leave. I want you to stay.”

“There’s so much I don’t understand, but god, I didn’t want to have to hurt you last night. I feel horrible. I will never forgive myself for what I’ve done.”

“I deserved it.”

“You did, but I didn’t want to have to be the one to do it.”

“The last time you took blood, it strengthened the bond, and then I marked you. It made it so intense for us both. That is why you feel terrible.”

“I don’t understand the first things about the mark that I wear on my shoulder, so please tell me.” I pleaded with him softly. 

“I will do my best to explain it to you.”

 “I would appreciate that.”

“After we have breakfast, we will come back and I’ll tell you everything I know about the mark and the bond.”

I nodded and moved to get out of the bed. William braced his ribs as he got up. He lifted his shirt in the daylight and I saw the black and blue bruises on his flesh. 

“How long will it take you to heal?”

“A few days, maximum.”

I nodded and reached out to touch his ribs. Stopping before I actually touched him. 

“William…”

“Yes?”

“I really want us to be friends. I want to be your equal, someone who doesn’t make you think of my father when you look at me. I know how hard it will be to separate me from him, but I’m begging you, please do.”

He nodded, and left the bedroom, telling me to come along too. I slipped my boots on and followed him to the dining hall. The beta was sitting with my aunt when we came inside. They were chatting over tea at the Alpha and beta’s table, Felix with them too. 

“Morning.” The beta greeted William, and noticed him holding his ribs, but didn’t say a thing. My aunt looked at me, spoke. “You should put some ice on those eyes of yours, Elias. It will help.” 

She looked at William and back at me. William arranged for a cup of tea to be served to me while he was having his coffee. 

“Thank you.” I sipped the tea, and it was lovely, almost just like the tea I had before all of this. 

“You should like that tea. Your aunt gave some to the warriors’ mates. They are the ones who prepare the meals. It’s tea from your kingdom.” The beta said, glancing at the Alpha again. “Forgive me for asking, but did you hit him good, Elias?”

“You don’t have to answer that.” William said. 

“I didn’t hit him. I pushed him into the bath wall. I needed his attention, and that was the only way I knew how to get it. I feel terrible about it.” I said, looking into my cup of tea. 

“That’s only the blood bond, and because it’s new, once you get used to the feeling, you won’t feel so bad for putting the Alpha in his place.” The beta said, chuckling before he turned his attention back to William. “Have you had your ribs checked out by the doc yet?”

“No, it’s not needed. They will be healed in a few—--”

“I’ll make sure he gets them checked. It would make me feel better too.”