***

Time passed and Danny was reaching the end of his educational classes. Jason, who had decided to start over, was only about half way. During this time, things between them changed in ways Danny couldn’t explain. Their weekends with others always ended early and they spent that time with each other instead. Dinners became a way for them to connect during the week, and whenever Jason was stuck in his studies, Danny would actively text him the answers. To Jason, it almost felt like they were dating to some degree. He knew better of course, but was just trying to find some solace in a reason why Danny was still hanging around him.

He was close to graduating now, Jason had to learn to let him go. By now, it had been another three years since he had been diagnosed. His treatment and the change in his stressful environment made his condition level out temporarily. He didn’t know how long it was going to last, but he was savoring it while he could.

“Hey Jason, do you remember where I threw my neck tie?” Danny asked, looking around his bed.

He leaned over and grabbed the tie stuck under his chair. He offered it out to him and Danny took it gratefully.

“Thanks.” He looked really nervous, fidgeting as he tried to tie it properly. Jason came up behind him, turning him gently so he could do it for him. If there was a moment he wanted to kiss him, this would defiantly be one of them.

“Don’t be nervous, you’ll do great in your interview.” Danny hesitated and then groaned. “Was I that obvious?”

“Go knock it out of the park okay?” Jason encouraged, smiling casually.

He watched Danny go and slumped down onto his bed. He reminded himself once more that it was just another thing in life he needed to accept. Danny wasn’t his and he needed to stop pretending he was. He looked at his phone, determining it was time to go to a bar.

Ever since he had started his medication, he learned the hard way when to drink and when not to. Even though he had a low tolerance, it wasn’t wise to drink when he took his medication. So he waited until moments where he felt completely like shit or really good.

His part time job only paid so much, so working at a bar for tips was ideal for him since he had a pretty face. Of course this also meant free drinks once in a while and the company of another person. No matter how hard he tried, he wasn’t able to move past third base. He kept thinking about Danny, which killed his mood.

He sat at the bar and sipped on his drink for the next few hours, taking in his surroundings in a blur. It wasn’t until he smelled the familiar scent that Danny carried with him, that he looked up at his face.

“Drinking again huh?” he asked.

“How did it go?” Danny grinned and gave a victory sign.

“I got the job.”

“See, I knew you could do it!” Jason congratulated. “Bartender, get my friend a drink!” he shouted.

Danny tried to downplay it, but it only ended up with them both drunk and stumbling back into their dorm room laughing. They tumbled onto the floor and lay there staring at the ceiling.

“Jeez, what am I going to do without you?” Jason joked.

It was only until after he said it, that he felt the joke fall flat. Danny noticed this and rolled over to face him.

“Jason,” he said seriously. Jason rolled over and stared back, his vision too blurry to make out his face.

“Yeah?”

“Come live with me after I graduate. I found a place near campus and my work. It will be an easy commute for the both of us. It will also save you on boarding fees here and you won’t get stuck with anyone who makes you uncomfortable.”

Jason looked at him in disbelief, how could he be so perfect and blind to his feelings? He was trying to let him go, and here he was pulling him back again.

“Danny, are you hitting on me right now?” he joked.

Danny punched his shoulder playfully. “Dude, I’m just worried about you. Were friends, right? That’s what friends do for each other!”

Jason tried to hold the smile on his face even though his insides felt like they were churning in circles of despair. Right, they were friends.

“Why? Shouldn’t you be dating by now?” he asked.

Danny stopped joking and seemed to look at his face sincerely. Danny didn’t want to leave Jason alone. He instinctively knew if he did, Jason would disappear on him. The thought of that made him feel like shit. He was his friend, he just cared about him. That’s all it was, right?

“You want me to date other people?” Danny asked. Jason felt his heart stop. No, he couldn’t be selfish.

“I think you should do what makes you happiest.”

“Spending time with my friend who does stupid things makes me happy,” he jested.

He chuckled, trying to get up. The swaying motion made him fall back and Danny grabbed him for support.

“Easy, you’re going to bash your head on something!” He just groaned as Danny repeated some words he couldn’t register and started to help him onto his bed. It was only when he felt Danny’s fingers against his skin did he suddenly feel sober.

“W-what are you doing?” he asked.

“Idiot, I’m taking your clothes off before you puke up all over them like you always do. I just told you I was going to.”

As he brushed a part of his lower back, he let out a sound that made him flush red with embarrassment. Danny looked at his face surprised and then smiled devilishly.

“Oh, is that a sensitive spot?” he asked. He tried to touch it again and Jason pushed him away.

“S-stop!” he yelled. Danny hesitated, trying to get closer to see his face better in the dark.

“Are you blushing?” he asked.

“Shut up! Go to bed, I can take care of myself!” he snapped.

“Oh yeah?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

“Okay.”

He put his hands up in surrender. When Jason thought he was going to leave him alone, Danny suddenly reached out and tickled him. This led to a full on tussle that lasted all but twenty seconds before they fell off the bed  and back onto the floor, Danny landing on Jason with a thud.

Jason felt his heart skip a few beats, the embarrassment completely taking him by surprise as Danny’s mouth landed on his. Danny paused, pulling back a bit.

“Sorry.”

Jason flushed, trying to fight the need building up inside him. He got even more embarrassed as he felt Danny pressed up against him, his leg rubbing against his groin.

“Danny, can you move please?” he managed to let out without moaning.

Danny hesitated, looking down at him. What was he doing?

“No.”

What? What was he thinking?

“Agree to move in with me first.”

What? That’s what he was thinking about right now? This position was dangerous for Jason, he had to move.

“Danny, please move.”

Danny suddenly pressed against him harder, the rubbing making him go hard. What the hell was happening right now?

“I think I’m going to stay right here until you agree to move in with me.”

Jason couldn’t hold in his moan anymore, making Danny hesitate as he looked down at his flushed face. Jason covered his face with his arms, trying to hide it as best as he could.

“Why are you hiding? Jason, move in with me,” he begged.

“Fine! Get off!”

Danny was still on top of him, looking down at his covered face. He didn’t mean to corner him like this. He wasn’t trying to be mean at all, but it seemed like it. In that moment he thought Jason was incredibly cute. Reacting to his instincts, he grabbed at his arms and pulled them away. Jason protested for only a moment before Danny kissed him. The shock made him stop resisting.

“Just like I thought. Don’t run away from me now, you said you would…” he mumbled before passing out.

Jason could only stare up at the ceiling completely shocked with Danny laying on top of him. Did he just do that because he was drunk? He had to of done it because he was drunk, there was no other reason for it.

Jason breathed in a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves before moving Danny off of him. Maybe he should run away, he was seriously thinking about it.

***

The next morning, Danny didn’t remember anything. He couldn’t believe it, he almost got mad. He sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“W-what did I do?” Danny hesitated to ask.

“Nothing, you just asked me to move in with you.” He spit out his milk and struggled to clean up after himself.

“I seriously asked you that?”

“Yeah.”

He tapped his bowl with his spoon, disappointed that it wasn’t happening anymore.

“What did you say?” He paused and glanced up.

“Yes?” he responded, looking away since he remembered exactly how he asked him in that moment. He was trying to hide his blush, unaware that Danny was studying his reactions very carefully. Unknown to Jason, Danny remembered what he did to him and thought it would be more awkward if he admitted to it. So he let it seem like he forgot to give Jason a free pass. What he hadn’t expected, was Jason to actually be disappointed by it. It made him feel weird inside, his chest fluttering.

“Then I have to take responsibility, move in with me.” Jason did a double take and blinked in astonishment.

“Are you sure, you don’t think it’s a little too much?”

“Why? Were both guys and friends, its fine.”

Right, friends. Forget about being a guy, gay guys did it all the time. Being friends was the killing strike for him. Of course, that didn’t account for the skeleton in his closet that no one knew about. It would be fine right? He just needed to get through it until he graduated and then go his separate ways. He could do this, he could struggle to live for another three years.

***

Graduation rolled around and he expected life to go back into its routine again. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Danny’s parents, who normally never visited him, came to visit him on his graduation day. He expected from his personality that they wouldn’t have a good relationship. That was proven wrong immediately upon first encounter. While his father seemed the type to draw people in, he also seemed to be very observant. His mother, while outspoken and brazen, seemed to just call things as she saw instead of avoiding uncomfortable topics. Needless to say, their dinner was interesting.

“So Danny tells me he promised to let you move in with him?” his mom asked.

He wasn’t certain how to respond. To any parent it would seem like he was totally freeloading.

“Mom, leave him alone. It was my idea okay?”

“Oh?” she accused with a wicked smile. He really hoped Danny didn’t inherit that, he could feel his heart beating out of his chest already.

“I think it’s a good idea,” his father suddenly expressed.

“Huh? What are you trying to say?” Danny accused.

“That you’re a terrible cook and the only reason you haven’t died of food poisoning is because of take out and your roommate.”

Danny started to throw a fuss, and Jason couldn’t help but laugh. The laugh was so unexpected that Danny stopped talking midway and stared at him.

“What?” he responded with a smirk, wondering what he did now to earn such a puzzled look from Danny.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like that.”

The notion caught him off guard and he thought about it sincerely. “Really? I didn’t notice that.”

His mother gave him a cunning smile and he flinched, suddenly very aware of her conniving nature.

“Do you smoke?” his father asked.

“Occasionally.”

“Want one?”

“Sure.”

He was pretty sure Danny’s father had just saved him from a fate worse than grabbing a smoke with him. Was it wrong of him to accept a cigarette?

He joined him on the porch to Danny’s new house. His parents helped him find it even though he bought it himself. It was small, nothing lavish or fancy, but big enough for two people to live peacefully without others prying.

“He seems to like you.”

The words struck him as he lit his cigarette. What was he supposed to do in this situation?

“He’s a good friend. I think he’s just worried about being on his own after spending 6 years in that dorm room.”

His father glanced down at him and he pretended not to notice his piercing gaze.

“I don’t think that’s it.” He gave in to his temptation and turned to face the older man.

“What is it then?”

“I think he doesn’t want to leave you alone. I get the impression you’re the type to run away when left unattended for too long.” He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Do I seem that way? I guess so, I mean having people at a distance is my thing.”

“Is it? You don’t seem that way with Danny though. In fact, you seem to gravitate towards him just as much as he gravitates towards you.”

Was that the way it looked to others? Was he that obvious? Seemed like he needed to watch himself and be more attentive in the future.

“I don’t mind it. Whatever makes my son happy makes me happy.”

Wait, what? Jason thought they were talking about space and the fear of stepping into the adult world, not actually them both liking each other. Should he die of embarrassment?

“After all, if you were willing to give up your previous life before being involved with him, I don’t have a problem with putting faith in a conviction like being with my son.”

Did he investigate him? He felt his nervousness explode to a whole new level, afraid Danny would find out about his illness. His father seemed to notice his nervousness and took another drag.

“My son had the same roommate for six years and then decided to move in with him. Any parent would wonder about that sort of relationship. It isn’t every day you meet a lifelong friend, but it’s even rarer to meet someone you can live with for the rest of your life. My wife and I know this all too well.”

He wasn’t sure what to say, afraid he would expose himself.

“Take care of him, he’s an idiot.”

The blunt words made him realize the similarities between the man before him and Danny, they both were so carefree about others but were always honest when it mattered.

“I don’t think so, I think he will find someone who will make him happy one day.”

He didn’t dare look at the older man’s face, not wanting to know what he may be thinking. At the time, Danny’s father had already figured it all out. He could recognize the face of a man willing to give up everything for the person they loved the most and he could also recognize the face of someone who had little time left. A face devoid of hope and filled with acceptance, yet confliction. He just chose not to say anything, knowing that saying the truth out loud would make the younger man’s conviction falter.

The end of the night ended on a cheerful note. It was a normal night, a normal evening, and as Jason lay down his head on his pillow he dreamed of a peaceful place. If there was an afterworld, he hoped it would feel just as peaceful as he felt in that moment.