Chapter 9

Etsen’s fingertips were wet. I finally realized that I was crying.

“You’re…” he said.

“...”

“You’re so strange,” he finished.

“...”

“What is happening? It’s like you’re not even the same woman,” he wondered, his voice oddly husky.

“...”

“I... I must be going mad.”

“...”

“Answer me. Am I? Am I mad?” His voice was now a low whisper, beseeching me to tell him the truth.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. I knew I shouldn’t have said it. It was something I wasn’t supposed to say. And yet… I wiped my nose with the back of my hand and began to bawl. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m sorry.”

“Stop it,” Etsen said.

I gripped his shirt, feeling a hot lump in my throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Stop it. Stop!”

I repeated my apology over and over again, sobbing like a baby as he tried to make me stop. Part of my tears were from my own sadness. I felt sorry for myself, being in this strange world with unfamiliar people. I was scared. Terrified. I felt lost. I supposed he felt the same way. We were both unfortunate souls with nowhere to return to. If I had arrived here just a little earlier, at least he wouldn’t have ended up with his fate. He wouldn’t have had to shed those tormented tears.

“Please, just stop…” Etsen grabbed my arms, which were still holding onto his shirt. I swallowed back my sobs with difficulty. It wasn’t like I had wanted to come here. I wished I could tell him everything and ask him to just run away with me. Even though I knew I couldn’t.

“Stop…”

Why, why did you have to sit here looking so alone…

But right then we both heard, “Etsen? Where are you?”

It was Arielle’s voice. I was jolted back to my senses. Etsen and I were currently crouched down, awkwardly holding each other. When our eyes met, he stepped backward as though he too had just realized how weird this looked. Our intertwined hands and arms broke away from one another.

“Etsen?” Arielle called, coming closer. I grabbed the lowest branch of the tree with my now soaking, snot-covered hand.

“What are you…” Etsen started.

Ignoring him, I pulled myself up onto the branch. Etsen looked up at me with a frown, at a loss for words. Wiping away the rest of my tears, I made eye contact with him and brought my finger to my lips.

“...”

Etsen lowered his head again. He furtively wiped his tear-streaked face with his palms. Meanwhile, I climbed higher onto a thicker branch and hid myself between the leaves. My heart was racing so fast that I thought it might leap out of my chest. Could they hear my heartbeat below?

Wait, why was I hiding?

Only now did the question occur to me. A moment ago, all I had cared about was not being seen. I suppose because I had been with Etsen not as the princess but as myself, unguarded and vulnerable. I crouched lower on the branch when I sensed an unfamiliar presence appear.

“Arielle,” said Etsen.

Arielle finally spotted him standing tall underneath the tree. She strode forward purposefully and pulled Etsen into her arms. He returned the embrace, his touch tender and delicate, and wordlessly buried his face in the crook of her shoulder. It looked like all his unsteadiness and anxiety were melting away as he found solace in Arielle’s arms. But paying no heed to his emotions, Arielle opened her mouth to speak first.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“...”

“Did you wait very long?”

“No,” Etsen answered.

“I wanted to apologize because…”

“I know.”

“You do?” Arielle raised her head and looked into his eyes. “How could you know?” she said. “Don’t lie and pretend you do.”

“Arielle,” said Etsen.

“I want to tell you, but when the time is right. You deserve to know why I decided to stay instead of leaving with you.”

I peeked down, unable to help myself, and saw that her face looked oddly elated. It was a face of satisfaction, knowing that the man before her was fully wrapped around her finger.

That’s right, enjoy it, I thought. It wasn’t easy to find a man as devoted as him. A man who kept offering to give up his life at every opportunity, as if he had extra lives to spare.

“So please… please wait for me,” Arielle said.

“Yes, of course I will,” Etsen replied.

I nearly snorted, then hastily covered my nose and mouth to stifle myself. Arielle didn’t hear me, but Etsen probably did.

“Arielle.”

“Yes?”

“All I need is you,” he said in a low, resolute voice, as if convincing himself of that too.

Ding!

Etsen still chooses you! Congratulations. He is now a dependable ally who is completely loyal to you. But beware! Controlling him too much could cause a change of heart!

A. Break up with him, telling him you can’t bear to see him like this.

B. Express your gratitude and have sex.

C. Have sex here and now.

D. Have rough and wild sex.

What the...? Have what now? What was up with these ridiculous options?! No way. It was all so absurd I nearly scoffed.

No, they wouldn’t… Would they? Not with me here? Even if she tried, Etsen would refuse, knowing I was up here. He had to. He wasn’t a pervert! Right?

I suddenly started to doubt myself, remembering that neither of the two were extremely trustworthy to begin with. Breaking up was clearly the best choice for both of their futures.

A was the way to go. Pick A, Arielle!

But the cursor moved to D.

Ah, I see how it is. So you like it rough and wild, huh... Honestly, this woman was hopeless.

Arielle grabbed Etsen’s face and began to kiss him passionately. I instinctively raised my hands to cover my eyes, then slowly inched them back down. She groped Etsen’s body and soon slid her hand up his shirt. His response was instantaneous. He drew in a sharp breath as his whole body stiffened, his muscles tensing and pulling his shirt tight. Then he forcefully pulled in Arielle by the waist with one hand and grabbed her ass with the other.

“Mmm,” Arielle moaned. “Here too…”

I watched in a daze, my hands now clamped over my mouth. Arielle bit on Etsen’s earlobe as she pulled open his shirt, running her hands over his chest.

“Wait,” Etsen said, pausing. Yes, exactly! Have some decency!

His feeble protest, however, was unfortunately denied. Arielle tucked her loose strands of hair behind an ear as she lowered her face down to Etsen’s chest.

“But what if someone sees…” he muttered.

“I don’t care,” Arielle said, smiling and crinkling her eyes up at him. “We don’t need to hide our relationship now, do we?”

Her face disappeared again into Etsen’s shirt. For just a fleeting moment, I thought I saw him glance up at me. Or did I imagine it?

The mood shifted as Etsen pulled her in again, looking determined and single-minded. He stripped off Arielle’s dress in one swift motion. Who knew court lady dresses were so easy to take off…? I had discovered a whole new skill of his that I really didn’t need to know. After that final pause, everything was smooth sailing.

As the couple got busy making a racket as they bit and sucked on one other, it was clear I had been long forgotten, still stuck, hiding above them. It was like they were daring me to watch. And now I was the one in the difficult spot. Frustrated, I turned to lie on my back, facing the sky. The branch shook noticeably, but it was hardly anything compared to the loud and vigorous movement below.

What on earth am I doing here?

I stared up at the cloudless sky, listening to the sound of clothes being thrown, flesh slapping flesh, and the goddamn moaning that kept escaping their lips. Indeed. This had to be an experience of a lifetime.

* * *

As she panted and gasped, Arielle thought to herself that something had changed in the way Etsen was making love to her. He was never this rushed. Usually he took his time, slowly building up the heat... but this time he was worked up from the start, his breathing ragged and fast.

When Arielle uttered another groan of pleasure, Etsen brought himself close to her ear.

“If you don’t lower your voice,” he whispered. “Everyone will hear. From all over.”

“Yes, mmm...no, I... Aaah...”

“What? Do you want people to know about us or not?” he asked, now panting.

Arielle’s eyes rolled back in her head as she whimpered, “Ohhh, yes, I want it...”

“You have to tell me what you want, Arielle, if you want me to help you,” Etsen murmured, trailing his lips down her shoulders. As he sucked on her skin relentlessly, he briefly remembered the gaze that had been following him until just a moment ago. Blood rushed to his head, but that only seemed to drive him to explore Arielle’s body even more ravenously.

* * *

After a singularly spectacular performance, Etsen and Arielle left in high spirits, and shortly after they’d left, I was finally able to climb back down the tree.

With my brain feeling like shocked sludge, I managed to find my way back to my chamber with immense difficulty. I had considered just interrupting them several times, but once hidden up the tree, I hadn’t been able to find the right time to just drop down and announce my presence. Besides, these two didn’t seem to care anyway whether anyone was watching.

The sky above me was now tinged in orange. What had started as a simple walk had turned into something horribly unforgettable. And I was now terrified of what might possibly occur the next time I happened to take a walk.

“Nadrika...?” I noticed him only after I tore my eyes away from the window. Nadrika was quietly kneeling a short distance away from my bed. “What is it?”

His cheeks were bathed in the glow of twilight.

“Your Highness,” he said, looking especially hesitant.

I hurried over to him and tried to pull him up, but Nadrika grasped my ankles and hung his head.

“What is it...?”

“That woman touched me,” Nadrika whispered in reply, his cheeks wet with tears.

“What woman?” I asked, automatically reaching out to wipe his face. He flinched and cowered from my hand.

“That woman...” he repeated.

How was I supposed to know who he was talking about? But wait—as far as he knew, I was still suffering from memory loss, so why would he mention a woman without any additional explanation? Was it someone I knew then? There was a person that immediately sprang to mind.

“Arielle?” I said.

Nadrika’s face darkened. I was right. Was Nadrika also one of her targeted characters in the game?

“Did you sleep with her too?” I asked.

“No! Of course not! It wasn’t like that!” Nadrika denied fiercely, practically convulsing at my question. His eyes sparkled with tears, which soon trickled down his face.

I couldn’t help but think that he looked beautiful even when he was crying. Almost to the point I didn’t want it to stop. Anyway, it sounded like it wasn’t exactly the interaction I had been imagining. Either she hadn’t started targeting him yet, or it was impossible from the start.

“Then what?” I pressed. “Are you saying a court lady dared to lay hands on my concubine?”

Nadrika wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

“They... they all know I wouldn’t be able to tell you, even if I were molested,” he stammered. “So they—”

They all. So it was more than just one.

“Why?” I cut him off.

“Your Highness?”

“Why weren’t you able to tell me this before?”

“Because... then you would kill me, Your Highness.”

What, would he have suddenly been considered useless? Because he had been defiled by someone else? The princess’s thoughts always seemed to be several steps beyond me. Which I suppose shouldn’t be surprising, considering that her way of thinking was at such a level that even criminals might find it difficult to follow.

Nadrika was looking up at me desperately. His eyes were full of fear, as though begging for forgiveness and salvation. My next question was asked with an answer in mind, one I desperately hoped to hear.

“Did you think now I would spare your life instead?”

In a thin and fragile voice that was almost a whisper, he replied, “Yes, Your Highness...”

Nadrika was anxiously clinging to my ankles, his hands cold and clammy. His voice was wobbling with emotion when he said, “I belong only to you, Your Highness, right?”