Painful, but Desirable

Chapter 8

A date. The words were like music to her ears. She replayed the phone call from several nights ago in her mind as she waited for Doyun in front of her house. Today, she was going on a date with him. She knew it was fake—that it was just to prepare for their contractual marriage—but she couldn’t stop her heart from fluttering anyway.

Her eyes were bloodshot because she was too excited to sleep last night. She was glad she’d asked him. To get married and to go on a date. It made her regret the time she’d spent watching him from afar. She had waited for him for so long. He’d agreed to the date so pleasantly, without any sign that he didn’t want to go.

“Okay, sounds good. 10:30 A.M. I’ll pick you up in front of your house. Send me the address.”

The wind blowing in the alley made her spring dress flutter around her. It was the piece of clothing she thought fit her the best, her favorite blue dress. Three minutes before 10:30, a black car pulled into the alley. 3327. She straightened as she recognized the license plate number. She had memorized it long ago. The car stopped in front of her, and a man stepped out. Doyun.

He looked different than usual. At the office, he always wore a fitted black suit—solid and stoic. Today, however, he wore a crisp dress shirt and cotton pants. The shirt had a cute knit pattern at the shoulders. And his usual slicked-back hair fell softly across his forehead. Cha Doyun on holiday.

It was the first time she’d seen him like this since she joined the company—he looked so soft. For a moment, she forgot to say hello and just stared blankly. He walked around the car and opened the door for her. When she heard the door open, she came back to her senses. Finally, she opened her mouth to greet him.

“Hello, sunbae,” she said.

“I told you I’d call when I got here. You didn’t need to wait outside.” It was nice to hear the concern in his chiding. She smiled a little.

“The weather’s nice. I wanted some fresh air,” she said. And besides, I was too excited to wait inside. She managed to keep herself from saying it out loud.

“Is it? The weather seems pretty average to me,” he said. He turned and looked at the sky, which was hazy with air pollution.

It’s our first date, sunbae, what could be average about that? It could hail on us and it would still seem like a nice day. She smiled at him and said nothing. Her lips usually looked tense and stiff when he was around, but today they settled into a relaxed curve. He tilted his head at her smile, then opened the door wider and motioned for her to get inside.

“Anyway, get in.”

“Okay,” she said.

Oh, he opens the door for his date, how kind. He was normally so blunt—this was a side of him she’d never seen. He sat watching her as she got into the car, and only started the engine after she buckled her seatbelt. Then he spoke.

“I was thinking we could go to Sungdo Department Store. Does that sound okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, that’s great,” she said.

The largest department store in the area, the largest in all of Korea actually, was Hando Department Store. Hando, as in Hando Group. The same Hando Group that Doyun’s father controlled. So, he’s going out of his way to avoid his father’s department store. Now that she thought about it, his phone wasn't a Hando Electronics brand either. She remembered how he’d said that his aunt was his only family. Whenever someone mentioned Hando Group, he always looked the other way. Were they completely estranged? As she gazed quietly at his phone, lost in thought, his low voice brought her back.

“Hayeon.”

“Yes?”

It still sounded strange for him to address her in such an intimate way. Her eyes were round and wide as she looked up at his face. Her heart skipped a beat.

“It’s okay to call you by your first name, right Hayeon?” he asked.

“Oh, of course. Yes. It’s fine,” she said.

“Then you should too.”

“Should what?”

“Stop calling me sunbae or director. I don’t even like being called director, and sunbae sounds awkward, right? We’re about to get married, after all,” he said.

“Then... what should I call you?” she asked. It had been a long time since they first met, but in her mind, he was still sunbae. She couldn’t think of anything else to call him.

“There are other nicknames. You know, like oppa. Nobody calls the person they’re going to marry sunbae or director,” he said.

“Ah...”

Oppa? It didn’t come naturally to her. Hayeon had no trouble calling her other sunbaes from university oppa, but referring to Doyun that way felt wrong. She felt shy being so familiar. Then again, she had asked him to marry her. Was she being silly? While Hayeon’s lips were fidgeting with the word, Doyun shrugged his shoulders.

“Or, if you don’t like oppa, you could call me... sweetheart,” he said.

* * *

“Sweetheart?!” she exclaimed.

Doyun smiled wryly at her surprise. Sweetheart? Even though he said it first, Doyun couldn’t really imagine anyone calling him that. Stopped at a traffic light, he stole a glance at Hayeon in the seat next to him. She looked very pretty today. Her pale blue dress was open across her shoulders and chest. The color went well with her fair skin.

“It was a joke,” he said. He didn’t usually joke around or even laugh very often, but for some reason, he kept wanting to tease her. Something about her trembling nervously, like some tiny creature before a wild beast, gave him the overwhelming urge to sink his teeth into her neck.

He clicked his tongue at his thoughts before they got out of control and turned his eyes back to the road. Hayeon was silent for a while. Maybe she was still in shock at the idea of calling him sweetheart. In any case, she didn’t seem to recover the power of speech until they arrived at the department store.

“If sunbae is too stiff, could I just call you by your name? Just... Doyun?” she said. Was that what she had been thinking about? It seemed she wouldn’t be calling him sweetheart then, even as a joke. “If you don’t like that, I can call you something else.”

“No, that’s fine,” he said.

“I’ll keep calling you director at the office, and sunbae with the club,” she said. “That way it won’t be awkward.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable with,” he said. Doyun. It was polite but friendly. As if she herself couldn’t get used to it, despite having suggested it, Hayeon mouthed his name several times, practicing. Doyun, Doyun. Spying on her through the mirror, Doyun let out a small sigh. Her lips looked so kissable with his name on them.

* * *

SUNGDO DEPARTMENT STORE

Doyun didn’t particularly enjoy shopping, but if there was something he needed, he sometimes came here. His closest friend, Woojin, worked here too. Doyun had texted Woojin just before they stepped into the store. He’d already told him he was coming, so he didn’t have to explain.

“Here, we’ll be on the first floor.” Hayeon stood a few steps behind him, looking at the floor guide. He looked over at her for a moment. When he turned back around, Woojin was walking toward them. Doyun went to greet his friend.

Doyun and Woojin were the same age. After they graduated, Woojin found a job at Sungdo Department Store as a sales manager. He liked people, so a job where he encountered lots of them was good for him. He saw Doyun and waved.

“What is Director Cha Doyun doing at our shabby department store?” he said, laughing. “Are you in the market for something?”

Doyun tilted his head toward Hayeon to indicate that they had come together. Hayeon hadn’t noticed Woojin yet and was still examining the floor guide. Woojin saw her and blinked.

“A woman? You brought a woman with you?” he said. Woojin knew better than anyone that Doyun kept his distance from women. “Oh, I heard you’re getting married? Is she the one? Did you already see a matchmaker?”

Doyun breathed a small sigh at his friend’s rapid-fire questions. Woojin was also part of the Hasung University Orchestra Club. It would be quite the scene when he realized the woman he was asking about was none other than Shin Hayeon. Woojin was surprised enough that Doyun had come to the store with a woman, any woman. When he found out that Hayeon and Doyun, who had always been awkward with each other, were getting married, it would knock him off his feet. Doyun was trying to figure out how to tell him when Hayeon walked toward them

“Sunbae... I mean, Doyun... Women’s clothes are on the fifth floor. Should we start there?” she asked. Hearing her familiar voice, Woojin turned to look at her again and finally realized who his friend’s fiancée was.

“Shin Hayeon! What are you doing here?” he exclaimed.

“Oh...?”

“What’s going on? What are you doing here?” he asked again. His mouth hung open as he looked back and forth between them. Hayeon—also surprised to see Woojin—raised her eyebrows.

“Ah, I’m just here to take care of something with Doyun sunbae. But what are you doing here, Woojin?” she asked. She was startled by his sudden appearance, but she soon put everything together. “Oh, that’s right! You work at Sungdo Department Store. Now I remember.”

Doyun’s lips curled upward as he listened to her. Look at that. One of us gets referred to by his first name, and the other is still sunbae. Woojin’s exceptional friendliness always brought him closer to people, even the untouchable Shin Hayeon. Woojin smiled brightly and responded.

“That’s right. I’m stuck here even on a holiday. It’s nice to see you outside of Orchestra Club. But what’s going on? You came with Doyun?” he asked.

“Ah... yes. But... are you working right now?” she said.

“I came because Doyun asked me to help pick out some clothes.”

When Hayeon had asked him to help with her clothes, Doyun knew he was in trouble. He found it bothersome even to shop for himself. There was no way he would be good at picking out women’s clothes. He had called Woojin for help, but now that they were all here, he felt uncomfortable watching the two of them talk. Doyun stood off to the side with his head tilted, watching them. Woojin smiled at Hayeon and turned back to Doyun.

“But Doyun, why are you here with Hayeon? Ah, you work for the same company, don’t you? Is it a work thing?” he asked. “No,” Doyun said quietly, sweeping his bangs out of his face. “We’re here for personal reasons.”

Then he reached out, put his hand around Hayeon’s shoulder, and pulled her close. She felt so small with his arm around her. “Shin Hayeon and I are on a date.”