~

At that time, when Haru said that to me, My mind was in a deep dark situation where I couldn't see or do anything, I was completely paralyzed, crouching on the floor and isolating myself from the real world and people...

As he approached his hand to me, like a light of hope in that pitch darkness, I was too desperate to catch it, so without thinking afar, I grasped his hand... 

I needed someone to rely on...

If I hadn't accepted your help at that time, would things have been different?... 

If I just hadn't fallen in love with you, would I have been less broken than I am now?... 

I wish I had stayed nothing more than a friend to you...

~

Kim Haru, a boy who transferred to my school when we were in eighth grade. 

He was an extrovert, bright, and lively person who got people's attention wherever he was.

He had an attractive appearance, tall with an ideal bodyline, a handsome face with upturned almond-shaped brown eyes and long eyebrows, heavy upper lips, and wavy light brown hair. 

Haru was 180 degrees different from me, so I'd never imagined we could ever become friends...

After entering our class, he started by brightly introducing himself, smiling ear to ear, "Nice to meet you all, I'm Kim Haru!" After he had finished, he sat down on the front row like a nerdy student. 

My seat was at the back of the class next to the window to avoid teachers as much as possible...

I was amazed by his confidence. I couldn't imagine introducing myself in front of a bunch of strangers... That could be my nightmare!... 

In my whole school days, I've only had a few friends since I was an introvert with a lack of social skills. I prefer to be alone in his own world and thoughts instead of getting engaged with people... 

People who are strangers, crowded places, and light topics always make me uncomfortable.

So naturally, I avoid guys like Haru, who would attract so much attention unintentionally.

It had been just a few days. However, Haru became friends with not only our classmates but almost half of the school. He got to know everyone quickly.

~

One week later, it was our lunch break that I took out my lunch and placed it on my table to eat while everyone was leaving the class.

Haru sat down towards me in my front seat and asked curiously, "You bring your lunch from home?..."

I nodded silently. 

-"Woah!... So well organised! You even laid a handkerchief on the table!..." 

+"well, I can't get the table dirty..." 

I started eating while he was staring at me with his puppy-like eyes, which made me really uncomfortable. So I asked, "Why are you still here? Don't you go to the cafeteria?..."

He replied shyly, "Ah~... I forgot to bring money today~..." 

I paused as I heard his answer, " I~... Don't have extra spoon~... unless, you~..."

He snatched my spoon out of my hand and grabbed a bite. "It's okay~... We can share it~... What's your name, by the way?..."

I stared at him blandly without answering him as I was shocked.

When he noticed my silence while still munching, he said panicky, "Don't tell me you have some kind of OCD?!... What should I do?!" 

+"It's okay. You can eat!... I'm not that hungry anyway. " 

-"Sorry~... Thanks for the meal~..." 

He pulled my lunchbox towards himself and continued eating hastily. I opened my chocomilk and took a sip while thinking, "why should two strangers share a spoon..."

When he was done, he let out a breath and said, "You saved me!..." then leaned forward and continued, "So, won't you tell me your name?..."

+"Ah~...Myung, Park Myung~..." answered frustratingly... 

-"Bond, James Bond..." 

I glared at him, "What's with the dad's joke!..."

He laughed and pinched my cheeks, "Haha~... Why are you so stiff!... Smile!..."

I grabbed his wrists, "Let me go!..."

"Your cheeks are really soft!...", He said as he was still playing with my face, then he glanced at my hands and grasped them, "You have dimples on your hands like babies!... So cute!..." 

I was totally panicked by his sudden attack, so I sprang to my feet, "I've gotta go to the bathroom~..."

I left the class immediately while my heart was trying to get out of my chest...

~

After that, Haru approached me so many times, following me around every day, calling my name nonstop, trying to start a conversation with me just like a lost puppy. I ignored and ran away from him every time because his high-energy aura was too much for me, and I just wanted to protect my peaceful silence... 

But I hadn't known he was aggressive and persistent when someone caught his eye. He didn't back off until I accepted my defeat and let him be... 

Gradually, I was getting used to bringing an extra lunchbox with a spoon in case he was willing to eat with me day by day. 

As we spent more time together, we became close naturally. Most of the time, whenever he didn't bring textbooks or money, I would've helped him...

In my point of view, they were simple and nothing significant because I believed this is how a real friend should be, but his gratitude towards me was much greater, so he attached to me even more... 

Maybe his attachment to me was simply because most of our classmates just hung out with him whenever there was something fun going on. However, whenever he needed them, they'd pull back on themselves... 

In reality, I have heard some accidentally say that Haru is an opportunist who mostly takes advantage of others by acting well and smiling, which is why his grades are high and many of our school's girls are drawn to his sweet traps...

But in my opinion, they weren't different from him in that case, and actually, they were more scumbags than Haru. At least He wasn't a two-faced coward like them... He was always honest and didn't fear what people thought about him...

Also, My first impression of him was that he was a carefree person who didn't have any difficulties in his life. He could have everything he wanted easily due to his positive vibes around him. But as we became friends and got to know him better by getting close to each other, I figured out that he's not as fancy as I thought...

~

One day, I got to school pretty early. When I entered the classroom, there wasn't anyone...

"So peaceful!..."

I headed to my seat, took out my notebook and pencil, and started to draw the outside's view... Then Haru arrived as the second one, "Myung~~... Gosh!... You're here too early!"

I replied as I closed my notebook and looked away, "My dad dropped me off, So~"

He approached and took the seat beside me, "What do you keep staring at outside?"

+"Sky..."

-"Today's weather is really depressing..."

+"I love dark gloomy autumn days with rainy clouds stopping the sun from shining... just like me..." 

-"Huh?!... Sorry, but I really can't catch the poetry talk well..." 

+"I just said I like this weather!... You're so good at studying. How could you not understand?..." 

-"I'm good at that, but I'm suck at reading books, or doing things such as the arts... I just can't imagine anything..."

+"Aren't all people able to imagine?!..."

-"Well! Here is an example right in front of you!..." He shrugged his shoulders and asked, "So how would you describe me?..."

I glanced at him devilishly and answered quickly, "You're like hot sunny days in summer, which I hate the most..." 

-"You little rascal!! Why would you hate it?!..."

I laughed, "Because breathing is difficult on hot days, your heart will beat faster, and you'll soak in sweat while your skin is burning from the sunburst..."

He paused for a moment and said, "Haven't you just confessed your love to me?!..."

I tilted my head and stared at him in daze, "How did you come up with this conclusion?"

He looked at me mischievously, "People would feel this way when they're in love..." 

I smacked him on his arm and asked anxiously, "Have you forgotten about the part I said I hated it?" 

His laughter echoed in the class. "Hahaha... The way you're getting annoyed is so funny!...

By the way, don't you want to invite me to your house?..." 

"You can come if you want... " I replied after I calmed down...

~

Haru came into my house a week later, I introduced him to my parents and we had dinner together, chatted for a while and when sleep time came, I laid down a mattress for myself on the floor and I called Haru while he was coming out of the bathroom, "Em~... Hey! Kim... you can take the bed~..." 

I've never called his name, so it was pretty awkward for me to say it since I'm typically not the one who starts a conversation. He just froze there and stared at me for a minute and said after a deep sigh, "You just broke my heart calling me by my last name!... Kim!!!... How cruel~~~... Kiiiim!!!!!!..."

I don't know why, but I burst into laughter as I saw his pitiful reaction after my dumb way to call him, "Pffftt~~~ I'm sorry~... Hahaha~..." 

When Haru saw me laughing, he became more annoyed, "Don't laugh! You heartless bastard!... " 

Then he locked my head between his arms and said," Call my name now!..." 

I was wiggling to release myself, "Ack!... get off me... "

-"Say my name, then I will let you go..." Squeezed harder...

+"Ahh~...Haru~... Haru~... Now let me go!..."

He finally let me go, and you could see satisfaction on his face after me calling him by his name...

~

I noticed that when he saw my parents and the way our relationship was that day, his expression during the whole day was like a mystery to me because I could feel all kinds of emotions like sadness, happiness, envious, regret, loneliness in his eyes... and I was wondering why until I found out the reason later...

It was some days after that day when we were having lunch at school, Haru told me, "It's a blessing that you're loved by your parents... they really cherish you... I guess no one can hate an adorable son like you, though... "... 

"You need to wash your eyes rather than be adorable. I'm weird and boring!... Also, I'm not complaining, but their love and care were always a burden to me..."... I answered... 

He laughed and said, " Even though it's better than my parents hating me and whatever I do... No matter what, they're always dissatisfied with my existence..." ... 

At that moment, it crossed my mind, that's why you had that kind of reaction when you were at my place... But it doesn't make sense to me...

"Why would they? You're a social butterfly, and your grades are perfect, too... I've never seen such a hardworking person like you..." I asked.

"This is just how their personalities are... My father is a university professor with a strict cold personality, and my mother is mostly materialistic and selfish at the same time, with a lack of emotion...

Both divorced once before getting married together, and their marriage wasn't out of love but because of release from acquaintance's judgments... my birth wasn't really welcomed by them... 

Oh! I didn't tell you I'm not actually an only child like you... I have one older stepsister from my mother and one older stepbrother from my father. However, both of them are married, and we're not really on the pleasant side, so I don't see them often... " he said with a bittersweet smile on his face.

I was frozen and didn't know how to respond... I didn't expect that his complicated life... 

When Haru noticed that I'm struggling right then, he pinched my cheek and said, " Relax, Myung! I didn't mean to make you feel awkward... Continue eating..." ... 

"I'm not... I just don't know how I can console you... " I said...

He replied, " It's okay, You can just love me instead of them, right? Hehe..." ...

I sighed and told him, " You chose the wrong person, buddy... I'm such a heartless person, too..." ... 

"I know you're not... Stop acting tough 'cause you're the most heartwarming person I've ever seen... you're always helping and behaving well to others like an angel"... he said.

I choked on my food from his comment... I told him while coughing to stop talking nonsense... And he just laughed out loud at me... So I just hit him on the head with my spoon... 

I couldn't understand him at all... What does he see in me exactly?... I'm not really that good, though... 

I lack in so many ways... But still, he's always given me confidence with his compliments...