Shiwoo had reserved random rooms for his close acquaintances, so Haru and I got one of those rooms to stay in, too... 

When we entered the room there was only one double bed... 

I wasn't feeling well already, but sharing a bed with him made it even more frustrating since I wasn't comfortable being around Haru. Why would Shiwoo not reserve rooms with single beds?... Maybe it was because the majority of guests were couples... Still, if I had known, I would've reserved a room in advance for myself before coming here to avoid this situation...

On the other hand, Haru was so happy we could sleep next to each other. His clueless nature was another level since he was tipsy from wine.

He even asked me while smiling brightly with his red cheeks, "Let's take a shower together like old times at school... I wanna see how your body has changed~... You were cute then~... haha~..."

The only reaction I could give him at that moment was to stand there and glare at him until he realised he should have taken a shower first... 

I laid down on the bed after showering, turned my back on him, and tried to sleep... 

On the other hand, Haru was on the phone with his girlfriend. I could hear him talking tenderly to her and having their own sweet moments on the phone. That was when I realized he really is serious about her from the tone of his voice. 

I felt lonely as I remembered I wouldn't ever have Haru by my side again. We had already drifted apart as these years passed without seeing each other. I knew that he would eventually marry sooner or later like everyone else, but the time you'd face reality is kind of bitterly harsh. Do all people get depressed when their best friend gets married?... Feeling like they got kidnapped by some stranger?!... 

Because I had felt that way with all my heart at that moment... I didn't want to lose him... 

My heart throbbed as I thought about it.

I looked outside the window and saw the stars shining like usual as if there was nothing wrong there. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply...

When Haru hung up a few minutes later, he reached towards me and whispered, "Are you sleeping, Myung?..."... 

I was too tired to respond. My mouth wouldn't open like it was locked... His gentle strokes moved to my hair, then he cuddled me from behind, murmuring, "I've missed this feeling..."... 

He fell asleep in a minute... I could feel his heavy and slow breath behind my neck... 

Slowly, I stroked the arm that was around me. I could feel his warm body against mine. His grip around me tightened as his breathing deepened. I murmured in an undertone, "Me too."

My heart was heavy. 

I felt like crying, but as always, there were no tears... 

Back then, I had an urge to turn around, put my head on his chest, and cry till morning... then he'd comfort me while saying, "Everything is going to be OK..."... 

But these kinda things are too luxurious for me... 

I shouldn't be greedy... 

I can't bother others because of my own struggles... 

While I was thinking, eventually I fell asleep too... 

As I opened my eyes tomorrow morning, I discovered Haru was awake already, sitting on the edge of the bed wearing his robe and calling for service.  After he hung up, he turned around towards me, "You're awake?..." 

I muttered, "Yeah~... Morning~..."

He softly smiled and said, "You're still so sleepy, aren't you?". He then got up and walked over to the window, opening the curtains to let in the morning light. 

"Waaaah~~~... No light!... please~..." I grumbled as I buried myself under the blanket. He chuckled, "Breakfast is on the way!... Aren't you hungry?.... Because I'm starving!..." He walked back to the bed and put his weight on my blanket while holding me. 

I moaned, "You're heavy!!! Go away~... let me be~..." 

"Nope... You have to wake up!..." He answered teasingly.

The room service had already rung the bell while we struggled in bed. After Haru received our breakfast, I finally groaned, yawning and stretching my body to get out of bed. 

As we started to eat, Haru said, "We should see each other more now that we have some free time than the past." 

I stayed silent. Then he continued, "Also, I'd like to introduce you to her... "

I replied calmly, "Yeah~ sure~..." and put a fake smile on my face. 

He suddenly reached his hand toward my face, and I flinched and backed away. 

Our eyes locked on each other while we both were taken aback and his hand froze in the air. " I just wanted to check if you're okay!... cause you look a bit off and pale!..." then pulled his hand back... 

I grinned awkwardly, "Sorry~ my mind was focused on eating so~...em~... I'm fine, by the way~..."

He replied calmly while playing with his food, "It's alright then..."

An awkward silence took over the whole room as we continued to eat without talking anymore.

After that, we got ready and headed out of the hotel. Haru suggested dropping me off since he had borrowed his dad's car, but I refused. So we parted our ways in front of the hotel after farewelling each other...

  ~

After two or three months, around early in summer, we decided to go camping for 2 days and 1 night, Shiwoo with his wife and little brother, Haru with his girlfriend... 

I saw Haru's girlfriend for the first time there...

Like Haru said, I was surprised by how much she looked like me... I couldn't help but wonder if Haru was attracted to her because of her resemblance to me.

Black straight hair, black almond-shaped eyes, small lips, pale skin, and petite... 

We made a campfire and cooked dinner together, while Shiwoo and his wife were telling stories and jokes. Haru and his girlfriend were cuddled up next to each other, and I was sitting a bit away from them with Shiwoo's little brother, trying to avoid any awkward glances. After dinner, we all gathered around the fire. They talked and laughed until late at night until we were all too tired to stay awake. 

At first glance, Haru's girlfriend seemed shy and calm. However, after a while, I got a weird feeling about her...

I thought maybe she was just interested because we're similar, but that wasn't the case...

It was irritating because she would stare at me whenever others were talking, try to get close to me like an accidental touch despite being intentional, or acting cute for me, which made me uncomfortable the whole time we spent there...

I mean, her boyfriend is right next to her, so why would she flirt with someone else?... 

We all said our good nights and headed to our tents.

I lay in my sleeping bag, looking up at the night sky, and wondering if my suspicions about Haru's girlfriend were correct...

When it was time to return home, I got on Shiwoo's car since he said they would drop me off home on their way... 

While we were in the car, I asked them, "Haven't you guys noticed Haru's girlfriend acting weird?..."...

Shiwoo asked, " What do you mean?!..."...

+ "Em, I mean~... the way she looked at and acted towards me all the time was like she~... wanted to fli...~"

- "Stop it, Myung... Not everyone is interested in you..."

+ "What the!... that wasn't my point!..."

- "She just has a friendly personality..."

+ "But what if she's not a royal type and wants to play with him?!..."

- "Why are you always pessimistic?... They want to marry... also, they look good together... Don't even mention anything about this to Haru and ruin their relationship... "

- "I~... forget it..."...

I was lost for words... this wasn't the first time someone didn't believe my intuition... No one has taken me seriously for once... I was used to being ignored...

I was sincerely worried about Haru because I don't like to see him heartbroken....

But they took my words wrong... 

And I'm too lazy to explain it to someone who's not interested in the truth anyway... 

~

A few months passed after the reunion, and I was busy finding a job... 

But I got rejected by all of them that I applied to... 

Taemin helped me to at least find a part-time job in a coffee shop for a while until I got a full-time one... 

My parents' financial issues got worse day by day... 

We had so many debts to pay...

And because of that, there wasn't a single peaceful moment in our household... 

One of those days, Haru contacted me out of the blue. He said he didn't feel alright and wanted to see me, so I came to see him at the bar where he was at the time... 

When I got there hastily, he was a little tipsy and wasn't his usual self... I could tell right away from his gloomy face that something bad had happened to him... 

Haru told me that he had broken up with his girlfriend since he caught her cheating on him... and it wasn't just once... it seemed that she was leeching boys with her innocent face...

And now, she's found some rich boys and ghosted him completely... 

I took him to my house that night, and we spent the night together in my room... 

He poured his heart out... talking about the shit he had been through... 

His arguments with his girlfriend... his tough situations at work, trashy colleagues... and his fights with his parents because of money and marriage... 

All I could do was listen to him...

I hugged him and patted his back to comfort him... 

I kinda felt guilty... 

Was it because I couldn't be sincerely happy for him?... 

Also, I blamed myself that I hadn't told him then so that he could've been hurt less than he is now... 

But I don't think he believed me either... 

When he's done talking... 

I said, " I didn't know that you've been having a hard time too... I wish I could be there for you... You should've called me whenever you needed someone to talk to... 

Although I don't know how to comfort someone, I can listen to you... 

I know you were serious about her, but maybe you two weren't meant to be together... Sometimes, we can't do anything about unfortunate things that happen to us... we should accept it and let it pass... 

Time can heal your wounds...

And you'll soon find your way out of hardship... I'll stay by your side..."... 

While I was talking, he stared at me quietly with his pitiable and heartbroken expression... 

Then, he brushed my hair out of my face and kissed me on my forehead... 

Also, my eyes and cheeks after that... 

"Gosh, I wish I had you all by myself... 

Can't you marry me?~~... I really like you~~..."... 

And he passed out right then after saying this... 

Once again... 

I was bewildered ...

Why do you keep doing this to me?...

Stop confusing me... 

It's hard for me to understand whenever it comes to you...