Noah

I’m in a brawl with sleep. I can’t afford to lose, our chemistry teacher, an irascible woman, will eat my head off. The weather’s not on my side. It’s those days where it’s warm enough to doze off but not too intense to burn me to a crisp. My body is here in the classroom, but my mind wanders off into obscurity. Nothing of what the teacher explains enter my crammed brain, half-filled with thoughts about sleep and the other half thinking about the conversation with Amel the other night.

Amel’s fortitude and strength astounds me. He’s tough, both in the physical sense and in terms of mental endurance. He’s gone through so much and yet, that hasn’t stopped him from seeing beauty in this world. Beneath his comical exterior lies a multitude of layers which he lives with everyday, even right now in this classroom as Mrs. Gargery scolds him for failing to keep awake.

His half-asleep face looks cute, the puppy-like energy he exudes makes me want to cuddle him, his selectiveness in vegetables reveals his silly side, the too bad it’s good jokes he comes up with crack me up, his energetic idiosyncrasy along with his soft vulnerable side makes him amiable.

Ding Ding Ding Ding

The sound of the bell. Classes are over. I survived. I managed to fend off sleep. Vivian and Dalia have to stay back for cleaning duty. Amel, Lino and I leave.

“Yawn” Amel covers his mouth.

“Enjoyed your sleep, Mr. Sleepyhead?” I nudge him.

He rubs his palms over his face, “Gosh, that was embarrassing. Can we not talk about it?” He let’s our a sustained yawn.

“Okay, Mr. Sleepyhead.”

“Will you stop calling me that?” Another yawn.

“As long as you have that sleepy look smeared all over your face, I’m not stopping. Mr. Sleepyhead, Mr. Sleepyhead!”

Amel walks on unfazed.

“Where’s your blazer by the way?” Amel hunches and smells his blazer, “Ugh, gotta wash mine.”

“Shit. Must’ve forgotten mine,” I smack my own head, “You can go ahead, I’m going back.”

“That’s a bad idea.”

“What?” I’m pacing to the classroom and pretend not to hear him.

“I SAID THAT’S A BAD IDEA!”

Nevermind.

Curtains have draped our classroom. The door’s closed. The door knob’s not locked. Strange. Have Vivian and Dalia already finished cleaning up? The door hinges and I barge in.

Vivian and Dalia are in a corner of the room. Vivian’s on a seat with her arms wrapped around Dalia ‘s neck. Dalia has a hand placed on Vivian’s chest and the other round her waist. Their faces are an inch apart.

“Oh gosh, Noah!” Vivian exclaims exclaims without delay upon seeing me. She frees herself from Dalia’s hold, unwraps her arms and scuttles to her feet.

“Oh hi, Noah!” Dalia rubs her neck, “Didn’t expect to see you here.” A tensed laugh follows.

Okay. Of all the days I could forget my blazer, it had to be today. And of all the times I could choose to refuse Amel’s advice, I had to do it today. Geez, Noah! Why are you such a blockhead?

“Umm… Forgot my blazer.” I put my sweaty hands in my pant’s pockets, “Ehm, gonna go get it from my bench.”

“Sure, sure, ok.” Vivian rubs her shoulder, “Go ahead.”

“Found it. Guess I should get going now,” I gesture at the door, “Have a good nigh- I mean good day!”

“You too.” Dalia crosses her arms stiffly.

So that’s their level of intimacy. I had my suspicions, I did. The looks they give each other, their interactions, how they talk about each other, their genuine care for each other made me wonder if they were more than simply friends. I just wish I didn’t confirm my doubts in the most awkward, cringe inducing way. A moment that’s going straight into my brain’s list of embarrassing events to play over and over again. Ugh.

(Noah reaches his room and enters)

I hurl my bag at my bed, slump down on it and heave. Amel narrows his eyes at me.

“You look stressed,” he remarks and gobbles a bun.

“Yup, stressful day.” I lay in bed and rub my eyes.

“Let me guess. Something happened between you, Vivian and Dalia.”

“Uh huh”

“You found out,” Amel crosses his legs and turns toward me, “Didn’t you?”

“You knew?” I blurt out while getting up.

“Yeah,” he replies with a smug look.

“Wha- How-” I stammer, “Since when?”

“Way before you came.” He won’t stop wearing that smug expression.

“And you never told me?!”

“You never asked.” That sly smile is still on him.

“I didn’t know you knew!” With resignation, I concede, “Fine. Fair enough.” He’s still grinning, “Will you wipe that smug look off your face now?”

“Nope. Revenge for Mr. Sleepyhead.”

“Argh” I shake my head and lie down.

**********

Vivian

Brand new day. I couldn’t get any sleep yesterday, though. Not after that ill-timed interaction with Noah; made me stay up all night ruminating about how we should have locked the door, yet how lucky we were it was none other than Noah who came (the worst case scenario being the Dorm Master). The blood’s rushing to my face thinking about it.

I’m in the kitchen now with Dalia sitting at the opposite side of the round kitchen table. Tea and toast, today’s breakfast. Simple yet Dalia’s hands have a unique craft whose touch makes plain dishes taste splendid. My culinary skills, on the other hand, are so-so, nothing worth praising.

She’s got crumbs of bread all around her mouth. I dab them off her cheeks with my handkerchief. She stays still while I wipe them off her face. Moments like these remind me of her inherent cuteness. I can’t help but want to prod her stuffed cheeks. All done.

“Thank you.” Dalia smiles with shut eyes and bobs her head. In a spontaneous arrival of a new train of thought, she goes, “Oh!  Amel and I have been assigned a mission today, Vivi.”

“Really?” I fail to conceal my disappointment, “I wanted to spend the day off with you.” I put down my toast and pout.

She reaches across the table to pat my head, “There, there,” Back to her seat, “You can try getting to know the other boarders while I’m not here.” She fiddles with her hands.

“Getting to know the others? You know how solitary Lino is, plus I’m not so at ease with him. And Noah…” I suppress a groan.

“What’s wrong with No-” Dalia pulls a face , “Ehehe. What happened with him yesterday was awkward,” she pinches her forehead, “but you can’t go on avoiding unpleasant situations, Vivi.”

I take a deep breath, “I’m not like you, Dalia. You know that.” She makes a puffed face, I go on, “I’m not used to dealing with people, not used to letting other people know me.”

She clasped my hands, “Vivi, I know that and I get how afraid you are of letting other people in,” she leans and caresses my cheeks, “I’m just worried for you, Vivi. After the Plague, after we go back home, there’s a chance we’ll have to stay apart. You know that.” Her head tilts a slight degree, “So can you please make an effort?”

I concede, “Fine, I’ll try.” With that face of hers, it’s impossible to refuse.

••••••••

Dalia and Amel have left. I pass Noah by the dorm hallway and we nod to each other. I can’t bring myself to speak with him; seeing him reminds me of that moment. He hasn’t made any attempts to approach me either.

The Dorm Master’s conversing with him in the hallway. It’s impolite to eavesdrop but I do it anyway, pretending to scrutinize the posters on the wall. They’re talking about relatives – Noah’s relatives will be visiting a few weeks from now. For someone whose blood relations are about to drop in, Noah doesn’t look excited. His mood has changed after the exchange, his neutral expression has turned to a frown. I think I’ll head to the hills, breathe in fresh air.

I’m by a small pond in the hills now; perched up on a tree, throwing pebbles in the body of water. What am I doing? I told Dalia I’d try to make an effort and yet here I am. I am trying though. Honestly not my best but I don’t know if I can ever bring myself out of my shell. I wish socializing came as easy as it does for Dalia.

A rattle in the bushes. I turn around and claw a pebble. Noah emerges from the grove. I let my guard down. “Hi,” I wave in an unconfident way. “Hii,” he waves back, gazes up at me, “Can I join you?”

“Sure,” I shrug.

He climbs up and sits next to me. We’re on a sturdy branch, it won’t collapse, hopefully. He opens his mouth and closes it shut. His shoulders tense up and he exhales deep. “So,” he pauses. I stare at him awaiting his next words, “Uh, I’m,” he turns toward me, “I’m really sorry about yesterday. I should have knocked first. Sorry.”

His words take me by surprise, “Oh no! No! It’s fine. Alright. Dalia and I should’ve locked the door.” Not knowing what to do, I hand him pebbles, “Pebble?”

“Okay,” he takes some and lobs at the pond, “I think it’s cute, good not cute, well it’s both cute and good you two have each other.”

“Hmm?”

“Oh gosh- I- I mean to say that the two of you are perfect together.” He looks at me, then away, and tosses a pebble from palm to palm.

I can feel the color finding its way to my face, “Thanks…” I rest my head on my hands, “What about you? You have anyone?”

“No,” he utters, thinks for a moment and speaks again, “No. Don’t have anyone like that.” I doubt it but keep to myself.

We sit in silence throwing pebbles. Without any exchange, both of us have agreed to make it a competition of who can throw the farthest. Noah’s at a disadvantage though, competing against a half-breed, yet he remains persistent.

“So, your relatives,” I mention.

“My relatives?” Noah gives me a quizzical look.

“Yeah. I overheard you and the Dorm Master talking about your relatives visiting. Didn’t mean to,” I try to sound sincere.

“It’s only a relative – my aunt,” he says it in a dry tone.

“You don’t seem enthusiastic about it.”

“I’m a hundred percent sure the only reason she’s visiting is to see if I’ve accomplished anything worth bragging about back home.” He flings a pebble with considerable force, “I can’t wait to get out of my house, find a stable means of income and go no contact with most of them, my relatives.” I stare at him bug-eyed. “I’m kidding,” he remarks, then adds, “Partly.”

“What about your parents? You get along well with them?”

He takes a long breath, “My parents and I’ve never been that close honestly. Not the type that has heart to heart conversations.” He gazes into a distance with an air of pensiveness, “And I’m kinda sure I’m going to let them down someday,” he says it with a melancholic expression.

Before I’m able to come up with a response, he asks, “What’s your family like?”

“My family? Hmm, we’re alright.” Truth is, I’m close with my parents, not much with other relatives, but I think mellowing down my answer’s the better option here. “We have our agreements and arguments.”

“Any siblings?”

“No.” The question reminds me of how I’d yearn for one as a child. “You?”

“Same,” he holds up his fist and I bump it with mine, “found my only child kindred.”

“Do you…” I don’t know if I really want to ask this question or if it’s because of the spontaneity of the exchange, “Did you ever get lonely? Longed for a sibling?”

“I don’t think so.” He contemplates for an instant, “Now that I think about it, I think there were times when I’d feel the need for company in my home. But the times I enjoyed solitude were far more than the times I craved interaction,” he takes a breath, “Plus, there was this cousin, one of the few relatives I got along with, who’d visit often.” He scowls, “I don’t think we’d get along now.”

“Oh,” I swallow and rub his back.

Another wave of tranquility set discordant by Noah’s abrupt question, “What’re your plans after the Plague?”

“Hmm.” I scratch my chin, “Wherever Dalia goes.” I let out a whiff, “Frank answer, I don’t know. I know it’s impractical for Dalia and I to always be together, for us to be present for each other physically all the time. But I can’t imagine studying in someplace where Dalia isn’t there for me.” If only the days in this boarding school would last forever. That’s a selfish wish though. I stretch out my arms. Noah’s the one rubbing my back now.

It’s been so long since I’ve had the urge to share more with someone other than Dalia, I go on, “I’ve always had a hard time being social.” From the outside, it might seem like Dalia’s the brittle one but she takes care of me more than I do. I sigh, “This conversation's starting to make me scared for my future.” I glance at him, “Are you anxious about your future too?”

“Dread it,” Noah admits, “A lot.”

“Umm, Can I-” Deep breath. Here it goes, “Can I tell you something which I really need to get off my chest? Something you won’t tell anyone about, including Dalia?”

“Sure, you can,” he flashes me a consoling expression, “And I promise I won’t tell anyone about it.”

I inhale deeply, then let it all out. “I feel like all these years, I’ve been relying too much on Dalia. I don’t want to think about after the Plague, when we go back to our homes, when we’ll have to go our separate ways for our dreams, our passions. Dalia’s her own person too, so she’ll want to do her own things, pursue her ambitions. This thought terrifies me.” I steady my wavering voice, “Plus, I’ve always had a hard time opening up, so I don’t know how I’d survive going to a place where everyone’s a stranger.” A tear wells up and I wipe it off.

Noah wraps me in his arms and pats my hair, “Its okay, it’s okay”’ He waits for me to calm down, “You’re getting better at opening up. I mean it.”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yeah! You just opened up to me right now. That’s a great progress!”

“For real?”

“Yesss!” He reassures me.

“OK Can I try practicing opening up with you from now on?”

“Of course you can!” His enthusiasm makes him energetic, causing him to lose balance from the tree branch and fall into the pond.

I can’t hold it and crack up, “Are you still alive?” I ask him as I laugh.

“Yup, I am.” He swims for the shore, “I think I might have an affinity for falling into ponds.”

The more I try to control my laughter, the more amusing I find Noah’s fall. My excitement passes on to him and he breaks into laughter too.

**********