The impact of Henry's words were too great for me to recover from. They caused a sharp throbbing sensation in my chest which I was unable to bare. My mouth runs dry and words refuse to fall out. The pain was wrecking my mind and soul making me incapable of forming words. I fall down on the floor unable to stand anymore.

"Beau... beautiful... No! Liar!" His eyes harden on me and I flinch. "Prince Nathan, you need to do what this kingdom requires you to do. A king is an inspiration and not a disappointment. I'm a loyal servant of this kingdom and you are the Future King. Best we leave it at that."

I don't know for how long have I being sitting on the floor. I managed to drag myself to the bed but sleep was the last thing on my mind. Henry's words have turned my world upside down. I thought I could live the rest of my life with Henry but after what he said will I be allowed to? I start hyperventilating at the thought of never being able to love him.

***

Since our last meeting Henry has being avoiding me but today I manage to sit with him at lunch. I can't bring myself to look at Henry but I am very grateful for this opportunity nonetheless. I suddenly feel intense heat on my face, looking up and my gaze fall on those absolutely delectable black orbs.

*throb* I instantly look away. I swear he will the death of me.

The diner's door opens, once again it's the royal messenger. Oh no! The Gods in heaven must really enjoy my misery. "My lord, they will be arriving in 5-6 hours," he states. My father gleams, "Let's start the preparations, we have a lot to do."

Panic flows back into me and my hands rush to my head. The sudden lack of oxygen made it difficult to breathe. This is the end. This is how I die? "Prince Nathan", his voice washes over me like the calm sea. Refocusing I see Henry's worried face and a smile automatically forms on my lips. "Where..." I look around and it's just us at the table. Memories from a moment ago come rush back and I run to my room.

***

"Will, can you ask Henry to visit me at 8, I have something I would like to discuss with him after dinner."

"Yes, my liege". Will exits my room.

Sharp at eight I hear a soft knock on my door. Knowing who it is I instantly fly towards the door and fling it open. There he was looking at me with his icy cold eyes and despite his cold stare I welcome him in with a huge smile. I am such a fool just a look at his face and my mood has elevated.

"Would you care to join me for a drink? Oaked wine... hmmm?"

"What on Earth, is wrong with you?" the hair on my nape stood instantly. "Since when have you started drinking? And... you have already finished half of it." he says while holding the wine bottle. Gosh! That gave a scare. Over dramatic!

"Don't be so shocked," I roll my eyes. "I had to-," I muttered mainly to myself. Clearly my throat I continue, "to build up my courage to talk with you." Courage, yeah right? I'm not even looking at him instead I'm focusing on the window right behind Henry, like staring beyond him can make this less painful.

Coward!

Three glasses and I still can't look him in the eyes. "You are impossible!" he hisses at me making me crawl out of my skin. He pinches the bridge on his nose, let's out a sigh. "Well, I'm all ears!" He says gently and I smile.

I take a deep breath and I open my mouth to talk but words not come out. The words that a minute ago were flowing out without any problems were now lodged in my throat like a bad cough itching inside but refusing to come out. I need to relax. I rush to the table where the wine is kept and take another glass and shove the entire drink down my throat. "What the hell?" He whispers before hissing his next words, "The future King is a drunk. Aren't I in secure hands?" He may sound rude but I know inside he is worried and that thought alone brings a smile to my face.

I am hurting him a lot, aren't I? I don't wish to act so shamefully in front of him. Not in front of the person I care about the most. I don't want him seeing this pitiful side of me either but I am out of options. Closing my eyes I will myself to muster all the confidence I can. I have to... no I need to do this. I need this!

"You always told me my smile makes you weak in the knees," I giggle. I hear Henry cough and I chance a glance at him to see him smiling. Ah! How I love this man! I can't put it in words. I'm absolutely mesmerized by this man. He has captivated my heart and soul... my entire being.

I love you, Henry!

I suppress my overwhelming urge to hug him and take a deep breath before saying, "you said you wanted me to marry Princess Kora," Henry visibly tenses but I continue. "To not back down and be the king. I will do it but I want something in return." I pause and wait for him because I'm sure he is confused right now. Henry gestures to continue and I take another deep breathe, "I want you to make love to me Henry." Taking another pause I compose myself as I feel the pressure of Henry's eyes on me. "And mind you not as an obligation or an order but as your lover. If you promise to do so tonight, I will do what you ask of me tomorrow."

"What!"

"Please, just give me tonight, Henry. I need this. I need you so, so much." Tears start flowing down as I beg and plea my lover to take me like a shameless whore. At this point I didn't care, I would grovel at his feet if I had to. I will grovel and beg and beg till he agrees.

"Please..."

"Please..."

"Please..."

"Please..."

"Plea..."

Before I knew it I was on my hands and knees, head hung low and begging Henry to make love me. I'm pathetic! "How pathetic!" he repeats the words that I just told myself and that I broke. I knew I was pathetic but being said that by the man you love... how do you bare that? How do I face again? Will I be able to look into his eyes again? I thought I was ready for anything. Ready to grovel and beg but look at me now, one word from him and I want to run away. One word and I lost my resolve. One word and I want to kill myself.

Isn't this the definition of pathetic?

Loser is the next word that crosses my mind.

Worthless!

Coward!

Unwanted!

Feeble!

A strange feeling bubbles in my throat. A feeling that I have never felt before and my body instinctively gave into it. The feeling broke free from my mouth and came out as a heavy throaty laughter. It was incontrollable. I have no control over my own body, I didn't want to laugh, I wanted to cry and strangely enough I was. Tears were streaming down but I still couldn't stop my laughter. The next thing that feeling took control over was my tongue. "You are right *laugh* I am pathetic *laugh louder* but you will have to deal with it" just like that the laughter stopped.

I must have looked like a deranged man to Henry. God! Why is this happening to me? Am I even alive? "Sshh!" I feel a hand smooth over my shoulder. Henry captures my tears trickling face in his hands and I inherently lean into his touch. "You're not dead!" Did I perhaps say that out loud? "You can't die this easily, Nathan. You will stay alive because you pledged your life to me. I own it, Nathan. Not even God can take it from me. Not without my permission." Then he growls – "Mine!"

Baring my neck I agree, "I am yours!"