Haru knocked on the door, "Myung, do you feel sick? Are you okay?..."

I replied, "I feel dizzy~... I wanna sleep~~~..." I staggered as I stepped out of the bathroom, and Haru held me in his arms.

He said worriedly, "Your face is red too... I didn't know you'd get drunk this much... let me tidy up things and then sleep~..." Then he put his arm around my waist and dragged me back there and helped me sit down on the couch.

As we came back to the living room, I was too embarrassed to lift my head, so I kept looking at the floor while they were cleaning up... Heejin's friend took a glance at me and said, "Wow, looks like you had one too many drinks! Let's get you a pillow and a blanket and get you tucked in for the night." I sheepishly nodded in agreement, still unable to look them in the eyes.

Heejin's expression was so serious and gloomy as she collected the glasses from the coffee table. I wanted to say something but I couldn't find the right words. I was so drunk that all I could think about was passing out.

Thankfully, they didn't mention anything about what had happened earlier. I presumed they took our kiss as a drunken act, but I found out that I was wrong and I shouldn't have been relaxed so soon.

Haru told Heejin, " You two are drunk too... So it's better to stay the night here. You guys can sleep in the bedroom." 

Heejin's friend said, "Yeah!... I definitely agree!..." while she put her hand on Heejin's shoulder.

Heejin glared at Haru, and after a sigh said, "Fine..."

At the living room, we slept on a matress lay on the floor while Heejin and her friend took the bedroom bed.

~

Around 2 or 3 AM, I woke up sick in my stomach. I walked to the bathroom and back. I was lying on the side facing Haru. Trying to sleep, I heard footsteps after a half hour. As it got closer, I heard some whispering between Haru and Heejin... 

First, Heejin said, "Let's do it now..."... 

-"You're drunk... go back and sleep..." Haru muttered.

+" I said I wanna do it now..."

-" Stop touching me!... It's not the right time to have sex... you'll wake others up... so go back..."

+"Do it or I'll put my hand on your dear Myung... You son of a bitch!... I knew it that you see him differently!..." She groaned.

I was caught in an awkward situation.

I tried so hard not to open my eyes. My body became tense. I felt like she knew I was awake, so she's doing this on purpose to somehow punish me, I guess... 

She wanted me to hear them having sex... 

Then I felt someone take my hand. I thought it was Heejin at first because of her threat, but I realized that it was Haru's hand when he locked his fingers in mine.

I could hear Haru's panting voice and Heejin's low moans echoing through the room. 

They were having sex right beside me. I could feel from the position Haru was grabbing my hand that Heejin was on top of Haru.

I was frozen in my spot, my heart racing and hurting as I felt their movements.

I was so scared to open my eyes, fearful of what I might see. I didn't want to hear this... I didn't want to see Haru having sex with someone else... 

Why are you holding my hand?... 

Why would you give in to her request?...

Why are you two doing this to me?... 

This is torture coming from the consequences of my own stupidity. 

My heart was heavy.

I felt so powerless and helpless, yet I had no choice but to lay there in silence, listening to the sound of their lovemaking and taking it all in...

I was disappointed in myself for letting this happen in the first place...

After they were finished and left for the bathroom, I finally took a deep breath and opened my eyes. Trembling in shock at what had just happened. I closed my eyes quickly as soon as I heard Haru was returning. Haru nuzzled my hair a bit, and then rested his hand around me.

I was unable to find solace in sleep, and my head was pounding from the lack of rest. 

When the sun finally rose, I finally succumbed to exhaustion and drifted off into an uneasy sleep.

~

When I opened my eyes again, it was already afternoon, and I was in bed. As I got out of the bedroom, I saw Haru sitting alone in the living room, busy with his phone and drinking coffee.

I asked confused, "Where's the others?... How did I end up in bed?..."

-"They left in the morning... I took you to the bedroom to not wake up from the noises... You were in a deep sleep..."

+"Haru..." 

He got up and came to me, put the back of his hand on my forehead. "Do you feel better now?..."

I took his hand off my forehead, "mhm... It's just a slight headache..."

-"I made lunch... go wash up meanwhile, I'm heating it... "

+"I'd rather go home... "

-"Why?... stay here..."

Because I can't face you right now. Looking at you reminds me of last night. I want to talk to you about it... 

But it's inappropriate, and you might feel uncomfortable, since she literally forced you last night because of me...

It can affect our friendship and I don't want to ruin anything...

I sighed deeply... 

He held my arms cautiously, "Is it because of what I did to you?..."

+"I don't really want to talk about that..."

-"I~... I was drunk~... and you were crying ~... So..."

I could feel he was anxious and worried through his expression and voice...

I clenched my fists out of frustration... 

I can't face this... not now... 

+"I get it... so please knock it off... I need to ~~..." 

~

While we were talking, Haru's parents suddenly rang the bell.

And they came in with sacks in their hands. So, as I assumed, they'd intended to stay at Haru's place for a while.

Haru got angry with them for coming unannounced and started shouting at them.

I tried to stop him and told him not to be like this to his parents, especially when they're his guests... But he was too furious to calm down easily and his mother was insulting him back too... 

It was totally unexpected chaos. Why would they appear out of the blue?... In addition, right now that we are in this complicated situation, out of all the time!

I was just standing there, not knowing what to do... then his mother said to me, "Do your parents know what you are doing?... Shall I call them?..." I was suddenly faced with a difficult situation that I had not anticipated. I was in shock, feeling overwhelmed and unable to think of a solution. His mother's question was the last thing I expected... 

So I replied, "What do you mean, auntie?!... "

-"I guess I raised a snake in my sleeve..."

+"What have I done wrong~~?!..." My voice trembled.

Haru grasped my hand and took me to the bedroom. "Myung, get ready... I will take you home..."...

I picked up my things while my hands were shaking because of too much stress that I was enduring at that moment, and then he dragged me out of the house while ingoring his parents calling his name repeatedly... 

We got in the car, and I was afraid... 

Haru held my hand and said, "Don't panic... ignore her words... she was just mad at me..."

+"Why would she say that?!... I know your mom doesn't like me... she never did... But why she~..."

-"Calm down!... That's just because she's jealous of you... It's nothing important."

+"Why would she?!..."

-"she always gets jealous whenever I'm close to someone or achieve something in my life..."

+"I can't get it... why a mother... "

I swallowed my words. I don't want to hurt him with my words. He's gotten hurt enough by his parents...

-"That's the way she is... so don't be nervous... it'll be fine... I'm the problem, not you..."

 ~

When we arrived at my house, we got out of the car. He hugged me and said," Take a good rest... and don't overthink... see you tomorrow..."... 

And I answered, "OK, don't argue with them, it'll only make it worse... take care..."

Then I walked inside as he drove away.

Upon entering my house, I immediately headed to my room and lay in bed. My mind turned blank... 

While I stared at the ceiling of my room, a notification popped up on my phone... 

When I looked at the screen, Haru's mother had sent me a text message with this content: "I've never liked you in the first place... when you were kids, I warned you to stay away from my son, but you didn't listen... 

When I found out that you two were still in contact, I decided to put turn a blind eye to it in case you were useful... 

Since you have an impact on him, you'd help me convince him to marry Heejin... 

However you disappointed me completely... 

You're just a whore leeching my son"

I felt a lump in my throat and my eyes brimming with tears. It wasn't fair. Why did everyone assume the worst of me? I had done nothing wrong and yet I had to bear the brunt of their judgment and wrong things they do to me. 

I'm so sick of it all. It's like no matter what I do or how hard I try, nothing is ever enough. I'm exhausted of fighting against people's expectations and trying to prove myself.

I'm just so tired of it all.

Everything is just too much for me.