One of the things that I actually liked about my job, and that had come as a great surprise to me, was that I got to know so many people. Meeting hundreds of families and helping their first steps with email and the internet turned out to be a great way to be seen and be known.

I don’t mean that I was suddenly socializing left, right and centre, but I was at least often saying hello in the street to people who, only a few years before, I would not have ever known or acknowledged. It also meant that people would stop in the street to just chat for a moment, or even pop in to the shop to say hello. Local customers would inevitably ask who my family were and, in a fairly small community, they would inevitably know my mother and automatically become more welcoming because of that knowledge. I’ve lost count of how many customers have responded with “Oh, I was at school with your mum. Say hello for me!”

I’m trying to pass a slow Wednesday afternoon at least a little bit productively, rearranging a bit of stock on the shelves when the door opens and closes with a quick buzz of the alarm sounder.

“Hi Alan,” a somewhat familiar voice calls out to me.

“Oh, hello, Paul. You look smart, all dressed up,” I reply as I look up from my chaotic mess and see a young man in a business suit. It makes him look older than his sixteen years. Paul is the son of some customers and I’ve known him since he was about fourteen. I delivered their first computer to them when they moved to the island and had made a few visits to fix minor problems in the couple of years or so since. “Why are you all dressed up? Not something serious, I hope?”

“Oh, no, everything is fine,” he replies. “I’m on work experience in the office across the street and just popped in to say hello.”

“God, work experience. You’ll be doing your exams and stuff this summer then?”

“Yes, exams start in just a few weeks. I don’t know why they put work experience so close to them, but here we are. I’m working at the architect’s office. It’s my neighbour’s company. They arranged the placement for me. I think I might have a job with them when I leave school.”

“Oh, you’re not staying for A-levels and going to university then?”

“No!” He laughs a little. “I’m not smart enough for university and I hate school anyway. I want to get out and get a job. I want a better car and a place of my own as soon as I’m able.”

“A better car? You passed your test then? I remember you were starting lessons when I was last at your house to look at your dad’s printer.”

“Yep. I passed first time after just a dozen lessons.”

“That’s not fair. I hated learning to drive. It took me four tests and almost two years. I love driving now though, just hated the tests and the lessons. I think I just always got too nervous and cocked it up.”

“Well, I like driving too, but my car is crap. I know it’s all Mum and Dad could afford for me, and it is a start, but it’s so old and falling apart.”

“Well,” I assure him. “We all have to start somewhere. My first car was pretty crap too and it had to get me to Douglas and back for work every day. Only had it for a year though, until I wrote it off courtesy of a big tree and some ice.”

“Oh shit! Did you get injured.”

“No, only my pride. The car was a mess though. Got some insurance and moved on. Anyway, how long are you on work experience for? How is it going?”

“Two weeks, so another week and a bit left. I’m really enjoying it so far. It’s so different from being at school. It’s nice to escape from a timetable.”

“I’m sure. School was so long ago that I can’t really remember what it was like.” I have, after all, been out of school for almost twenty years. It doesn’t seem like it sometimes, but occasionally the passage of time hits you. Like now, talking comfortably about it with someone a little more than twenty years younger than I am.

“Hey, Alan, you’re not that old! It wasn’t really that long ago, was it?”

“Well, Paul, such compliments will get you a long way. But, yes, it feels like a long time ago. I am twice as old as you and then some.”

“You don’t look that old.”

“Charmer. You’ll go a long way with compliments like that. I always thought that the few grey hairs gave me away.”

“Oh, now you mention them, I can see a few. They just make you look distinguished.”

“No, Paul. That’s a myth and it’s just not true!”

“Well, I guess I’d better get back to the office. I just wanted to have a few minutes out during my break. It was nice talking to you.”

“Yes, get back to work! You don’t want to make a bad impression if you want a job when you leave school. Besides, as you can see,” I indicate the disorganised shelf. “I have serious and important work to finish!”

Paul’s smile flashes to his bright blue eyes, clearly seeing the joke. “Okay, ‘bye then.”

“Enjoy the rest of your day. See you around.”

I see Paul in passing a couple of times over the next week, still in his suit, or occasionally just a shirt and tie if the weather allows. He’s obviously been given all the gopher tasks in the office, but he seems to be enjoying himself and I get a smile or a quick wave if he spots me through the shop window.

He’s hard to miss, tall, even maybe an inch taller than me, solidly built but still with a teenage softness to his features and figure.  He has a flash of short-cropped very blond hair, a very pale complexion and a round face with those brilliant blue eyes that glow from beneath a deep brow.

When I next see him in the shop, a couple of weeks later, he’s dressed in casual clothes, jeans and a plain t-shirt. I feel sure it’s a school day and wonder why he is so casual.

“Morning Paul. No uniform today?” I ask him after he has picked up the pens that he came in to buy.

“Oh, hi Alan.” He flashes me one of his best smiles. “No, just exams now, so I’m on study leave. I’m done with uniforms forever!”

“You’re definitely not going back next autumn then? I take it the work experience thing went well?”

“Yes, it was brilliant. I’m not even getting summer off. They want me to start at the end of July and I’m going to do it.”

“Well, congratulations. I’m sure you’ll really enjoy it. We’ll be work neighbours then. We’ll have to have lunch or something if we both ever get the time.”

“Yeah, if I ever get the time.” He stops and thinks for a moment. “It’s not just the work. They want me to go to college and do a diploma. You know, something related to what we do in the office. I’m going to be pretty busy once summer is over.”

“Oh, right, so something to do with architecture or construction?” I knew what business he was talking about, just not exactly what they were involved with.

“Yes, it’s some sort of foundation course in Building and Construction. Nothing practical, just lots of theory and technical stuff. You know, health and safety and all that.”

“That sounds too much like back to school to me!” I joke. “I though you wanted to escape all that?”

“I do and it’s not funny. It feels like that to me too. I know it’s a sensible thing to do, but I’m not looking forward to more study. I though school was the end of all that learning crap.”

“No, the learning never stops. I spend hours each week keeping up with the computer industry and technology in general, just to stand still. If I stopped to think about how much effort it actually takes to keep up to date, I’d probably give up.

“I’ve done a bit of building over the years. Nothing professional, but I’ve helped my friends with building an extension and a workshop and, of course, my brother, Alf, is a builder. Actually, I did all the drawings for my friends for their several planning applications.”

“Awesome. I’ll have to do quite a bit of drawing on the course. Perhaps you can help me with that?” Paul asks.

“Yes, I suppose I could. Not sure I want to go back to school with you though.”

Paul looks a little crestfallen. “But you could help if I needed it?” he asks.

“Yes, I could. We’ll have to see how it goes and, of course, I would need to find time in my busy schedule of social events,” I joke with a smile.

“Alan, can you be serious for a moment?” His features tighten as he tries to look more serious himself. I know we’ve been mostly talking with that easy, jovial banter that it’s so easy to maintain.

“Yes, Paul, of course I can.” I tell him putting on a more serious face that makes him smile.

“You would have time really, wouldn’t you? I really will need some help if I’m going to get through the course.”

“Yes, I was kidding. I don’t really do the social life thing; I stick to myself and I have plenty of time. I’ll be happy to help if you need me to. I’m always happy to help, whatever the task. It’s my greatest failing!

“Why don’t you let me know more about it when your course starts and you know the syllabus. You can always come round to my place and have a chat about it then. We only live a few miles away from each other and you do have your own transport.”

“Yes,” he agrees readily. “Actually, I know you go out with your camera. Maybe I could come out with you and we could chat about it then?”

“Oh, how do you know about my photography then?”

“Well, actually, I saw you walking down the Dhoon Glen last year. You had a pretty expensive-looking camera around your neck.”

“Sorry I didn’t see you. I was probably exhausted from the steepness of the paths down there. I usually walk some of the glens or around some of the coastal footpaths most Sundays. Let’s swop mobile numbers and we can maybe arrange something.” I tell him with another smile.

There’s something about Paul, I reflect when I’m back at my desk at home. He seems like a really nice kid, or rather, young man. He’s very much the opposite of me, outgoing, gregarious and seemingly always happy. I like talking to him, though. We appear to get on quite well, but I wonder why he seems to want to spend time with me.

Maybe he just wants to make friends with people from different generations? He’s starting out in his life beyond school and it does broaden one’s horizons. I found it quite difficult to interact with people who were older than me when I left school.

There is a definite disconnection there that needs to be overcome. Your parents teach you to be polite and respectful to your elders and this is only right and proper.

When you are at school, the adults around you all have authority over you and this suddenly changes when you get out in the ‘real’ world. In an instant, the older people around you are just equals and you have to adjust. Sure, you still need to be polite and someone will be your boss, but you are probably still on first-name terms with them, even though they tell you what to do.

I’m a classic over-thinker, though, and I can’t help but wonder what other reasons he might have for wanting to be my friend. I may not have a gay radar, but Paul very clearly acts a little bit queer. He’s not acting like some stereotypical camp character on the television, but there’s something in his tone and in his mannerisms that just strike me as, well, a little bit gay. He has a softness in the way he stands, a gentleness in the way he speaks and a twinkle in his eye when he smiles from under his brow.

I don’t think I project the same aura, but I can’t see myself as others do and I might be wrong about that. I guess I don’t spend enough time in social situations to have ever found out. Being called gay at school for standing a certain way really doesn’t count, although, come to think of it, I was ribbed for that many times.

I really am over-thinking this, aren’t I. Paul just wants to make friends with people outside school and he knows me from my interactions with his family. Now he knows I can help him; he just wants to get to know me better. I will, genuinely, be happy to help him with the college stuff if I can, anything that makes time pass quicker is a bonus.

Somewhere, deep in the back of my mind, a little voice, often supressed for being too outrageous, can’t help but make itself heard. “Damn, he is cute, though!”

Little voices are dangerous. They make you think things you shouldn’t and, if left unchecked they might make you do things that really shouldn’t be done.

When I next bump into Paul, almost literally, in the high street, he’s back in a shirt and tie. It’s a beautiful warm summer day.

“You’ve started work then?” I ask him once we have stepped out of the way of both traffic and pedestrians.

“Yes, a little over a week now. I’m loving it, but the office really is very busy. I don’t know how I’ll manage when college starts in the autumn and I have to do a day and a half out of the office. There seems to be so much work.”

“Well, I’m sure your bosses will balance the workload with you as best they can. You just have to tell them if it all seems like too much.”

“Yes, I suppose. It’s hard, everyone keeps piling the small stuff on to me to do, as if I’m there to take the workload off everyone else. I’m going to have to say something. I’m never sure if I can say no to someone.”

“Yes, I think people might unconsciously take advantage of the extra set of hands. It is something that is totally understandable, but that’s not what you are there for and your bosses will understand that if you talk to them.”

Paul smiles at me from under his brow, his eyes lighting up as his face brightens. “Thank you for the advice. It’s good to talk to someone outside the office.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Are you busy on Sunday afternoon?” he asks me.

“No, just the usual. I was going to go to Ballaglass and take some photos. The waterfalls will be very low and quiet with so little rain, but I can take some longer exposures for that dreamy white-water look. The footpaths always look good in the deep shadows of summer as well.”

“Oh, would you mind if I come with you? It will make a nice break from my usual routine. I haven’t been in Ballaglass since a school trip a couple of years ago.”

“Sure. Why don’t you come round to my place and we’ll go in my car?”

“Can I give it a test drive?”

“Maybe, I’ll have to see if you’re capable.”

“Okay, it’s a date then.” He pauses, aware of what he just said. “Well, not a date, an appointment, a meeting, whatever!”

“This slightly flustered version of Paul is even more cute”, the secret voice in the back of my head whispers.

“Relax, the word date can mean many things. I’ll message my address. Ask if you then need detailed directions.”

“What time will be best?”

“How about around two, after lunch. That’ll give us plenty of time with good light, even in the depths of the glen.”

“Great, see you on Sunday.”

“Yes, see you then.”