Falling For Evil 

Part Six

     "...... Oh my god! You won't believe what happened the other day…" I rolled my eyes, like I'd been doing for the past hour sitting with my friends, in a bar, wishing I were somewhere else. Like with Travis, in me, deeply so…. "this woman was brought in…." 

   "What?" I questioned, snapping back to the here and now. 

   "What do you mean by what?" 

   "I wasn't listening, I apologise." 

  "You good?" Ben asked, leaning in a little closer to me. "Something on yer mind Adam?" 

   "Nothing…." 

   "Ha! You sound like one of yer patients. That's not good ma friend." 

   "Why does your weird ass accent still get to me?" 

   "Because ya let it."

 "Sorry," I muttered, feeling awkward. "Just irritated." The guys looked at me, and then one by one they all looked at each other and all I wanted to do was sink into my chair and fall through it, just disappear. 

  "Want my thoughts?" Paul asked. My eyes snapped to his dark brown ones. 

   Of course I don't want his thoughts, he's always analysing me, every chance he can get. "Not really to be fair Paul. We're outside of work." 

   "And, I like bringing my work with me." 

  "Well…I'm not your work, so don't. I'm here to drink, not work. I've had enough of that today to last me a lifetime." 

   "Part of the job my friend, this shit lasts a lifetime. Even when you get out of it, it's hard to just forget it." 

  "I'd like to forget, even just for a little while." 

  "You dissociate too much my friend." 

 Frowning at Paul, I grabbed my wine, only to hide the slight tremor I had there. "Part of the job," I jab at him. "If you didn't, we'd all be barmy." 

  "Who says we're not?" Ben was trying to get his penny in. Not gonna work on me though. I've been around nut balls for so long I'm pretty numb to it. Huh, I really do dissociate. Oh well, don't care. Best thing really. Especially with Travis. I really should call him. I've not answered a few calls, he's going to be going nuts. But the punishment may just be delicious. "Okay, your grinning so fucking weird dude. What's eating you?" 

  Travis, I thought. "Nothing, I'm hungry and drinking wine on an empty stomach is bad for your health." 

   "And that got you grinning like a psycho? I dread to think what you'll do with food in front of you."

   "I go all barmy." Then I let a small rumbled laugh slip, which had them eyeballing me even more. "I'm gonna head off guys, I got an early start tomorrow and I'm actually really hungry." 

   "Oh yeah, nutball duty right? Heard you gotta go see Hannibal the cannibal." 

   "Seriously? Hannibal the cannibal? The guy didn't eat anyone you fucking idiot, just put his girlfriends hand in a blender." 

  "Better you than me," Paul muttered. "I'm gonna shag my wife in at least three rooms of the house tomorrow before my ten hour hospital shift. Nutters are just sooooo much fun."

  "Good for you, you nymphomaniac. Anyway, I'm off." I really don't want to be around anymore of that nasty ass conversation. Pussy just doesn't do it for me, in life and as a conversation topic. "See ya." I said, then smiled and left. No doubt they'll be talking smack behind my back for the rest of the evening. 

   But you know what their problem is? It's they're preoccupation with good and evil. Black and white. The world doesn't work like a checkerboard. It's not cut up into neat little squares. It's fuzzy. A little bit of good and a lot of bad and you mix 'em all together and what do you get? You get reality. And reality is fucking painfully jarring at times. Yeah, so I dissociate, you have to. Then I think about Travis, I can't dissociate myself when it comes to him. In fact, I don't fucking want to, I want to be deeper into his world, so deep he won't be able to live without me. I want him to want me so much it physically hurts him. Huh, Sadist, another to add to my very own growing list of things that are actually wrong with me…. Or good, maybe. 

  "Shit," I hissed out when my phone started buzzing like a fool. "Hey gorgeous…."

   "Don't gorgeous me you ass, you've not answered all day," cute, I thought. Then Travis sighs and swear to god I could hear his hand tear through his lovely hair. "Where are you?" 

   "Just left the guys, they were annoying me. Want me to come over?" 

  "I can come to you, right?" 

 Was he asking me? He's not been to mine yet. He might steal something valuable. I like my nice expensive things, although I don't need them, they're mine. I guess I attach far too much importance to my possessions, deluding myself with the idea they mean something. They don't, obviously, but still, it just is. "Dunno…."

  "Hey! Let me come over!" He so loudly interjected. 

  "Rude, you completely interrupted me. I was going to say I dunno, it's getting late and I have a real early start."

  "And? I can just sleep it out most of the day. I don't have work, I'll be bored Adam."

 "And sleeping in my bed all day won't be boring to you?" 

  "Duh, no. I'll be sleeping, can't be bored if you're asleep. Or….. You think I might do bad things at your place, huh?" 

  "In what sense do you mean by bad?"  I muttered, while trying to unlock my car. I'm not a good multi-tasker. Sex, yeah, oh I'm very good in that sense. 

"Well, that maybe I'll eat all of your food or break something expensive…. Or maybe I might wank in every room and leave a good ol mess, just for you." 

  "You are so disgusting." 

 "Oh my fucking god! It's this middle one! Now why would I break something expensive when I can just sell whatever it is?" 

  "Now I know you're grinning." 

  "Yeah handsome. I'd never do that to you. So come get me, let's play baby." 

  God forbid I want to play with Travis. "Fine, I'll be fifteen minutes. Be ready," I paused for a moment… "Don't steal anything." 

  "Jesus Christ Adam! Not gonna lie though, I wanna see your home. Bet it's all fancy and shit, you look and act so damn fancy."

  "I am…." 

  "Ha! Now look at you slumming it. Slum dick does it for you 'ay?" 

  "Only your slum dick, now get off the damn phone or I'm not getting you." 

  "Fine. You can make me some fancy ass food…" Ah fuck. Accidentally hung up on him. Still doesn't stop him messaging me though. 

Travis: What gives? Hanging up on me. I'll tell you what, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. I'll do that because I'm a fair man myself. Everyone deserves a chance, that's what I say. I'll take your new attitude as a welcome and unexpected shift in your personality. Now hurry up. 

Me: You are totally welcome. Won't be long. ;)) 

"Fuck, I need gas." 

Me: Gotta stop off for gas real quick.

Dammit. I always forget how tiresome it can be to be human. You need to bother with stupid things like cars and gas and food and bowel movements. It all gets to be quite a waste of time if you ask me. Then again I'd usually ask, define human. Not a fucking nut ball for one and definitely not Travis. Oh he's so naughty and delicious. Extremely foul mouthed and crass, but damn that guy. Even if my IQ drops some when around him, I don't fucking care. I like how sore I am after a round or ten with him, gets me all giddy. I'm going to need it for tomorrow, take my mind elsewhere. (Brenton Klark,) went all batshit when he thought his wife was cheating on him with the devil himself, he stuck her hand in a blender after he tried and failed some home made exorcism to repel the demon who apparently gives her a good ol seeing to while he's at work, not sure why the blender was brought into the mess mind you. 

   Poor woman though, not only was she missing her hand, he'd gone and cut her tongue out too. What a bloody mess, I'd seen the crime scene photos, put me off steak. God, I shudder at the thought of meat. I mean, she was a pretty little thing, well…. Until he hacked her about. Now the guy thinks everyone has the devil in them, he bit an orderly's ear off just the other night, now they want me in to try and sort out his mess of a brain. Ain't no fixing that shit. Guy needs to be comatosed or put out of his misery, euthanized, that's it, like an animal because he's anything but fucking human. I really do have a love hate relationship with my job, if it wasn't for all the damn crazies out there, I wouldn't have met my Travis. Well, I best hurry up and go get his beautiful crazy ass.