As I entered the place where Ashley's wedding was hosted, my whole body shivered with anxious thoughts. 

I couldn't help but get stressed since I was conscious of Diana's situation. I sensed the love she felt for Ashley through her eyes that day. 

Ashley isn't just her friend. She was more than that to Diana, and I could've felt that right away.

I kept repeating myself that I wished I'd gotten it all wrong. I wished that I hadn't noticed her true feelings for Ashley. 

Witnessing this wedding while I'm aware of Diana's heartbreaking feelings, who's always been someone I've admired a lot, is too difficult to handle because unconsciously, it reminds me of my own past. 

During the whole ceremony, my gaze was only fixed on Diana, and I was becoming more and more sure about that fact, which made my heart crumble in pain. 

~

[21:15]

As the wedding was coming to an end, I couldn't hold myself back anymore.

I was overwhelmed by my feelings as if something was stuck in my throat... 

I approached Diana while she was smoking and watching them hurtfully from afar. Tears rolled down my cheeks when Diana's gaze turned on me. I finally asked her, "You like her, don't you?"

Diana was dumbfounded by my sudden question, and I held her hand as I wanted to comfort her. 

My emotions were pouring out, and I wasn't able to stop them... 

That was the first time I saw her getting pissed despite her usual calm self. She dragged me with force to the point that my wrist was hurting from her tight grasp, but since I was the reason behind it, I couldn't tell her that it hurt...

She took me to the bathroom and slammed me against the wall. I assumed that I caused her to panic a bit, which was perfectly understandable since who wouldn't panic when a stranger suddenly mentions something you'd always kept hidden...

Despite my best efforts, I couldn't come up with the right words to explain why I suddenly acted this way... Instead of comforting her, I became a burden on her shoulders that night... 

She took care of and consoled me to calm me... 

While Diana was fixing my make-up, she suddenly licked her thumb and rubbed it against my lips, which made me flinch in a surprise...

My heart was beating loudly, and I could feel that my cheeks were blushed... 

As if we had an indirect kiss!...

~

[1:00]

As Diana took me home after the wedding ended and I got out of her car, I then sneaked into my room quietly, trying not to make any sound since everyone was sleeping...

I was over the moon~ feeling incredibly excited~

" I GOT DIANA'S NUMBER ON MY

                       PHONE!...

COULD YOU EVER IMAGINED THAT?...."

I know I've been a nuisance to her these past six months... 

I know that she's been through a hard time these days...

And I was indeed empathised with her...

But I couldn't stop myself from the ecstasy that had been a long time since I felt it...

Her unfortunate turned into an opportunity for me... 

Am I a horrible person, feeling like this?!...

My conscience started to tingle within me... 

In a split second, a sudden guilt came over me...

"I AM TRULY A HORRIBLE PERSON...

HOW CAN I BE HAPPY RIGHT NOW?..."

I looked at her profile sorrowfully for a while, and then I decided to text her to thank her for tonight and also say goodnight as we have become friends now...

                       "...FRIEND..." 

"HOW WOULD IT BE LIKE TO HAVE A FRIEND LIKE HER? I WANNA KNOW... "

~

[9:00]

Tomorrow morning, as soon as I woke up, I texted her again to say hi, then I walked to the bathroom to take a shower since I couldn't take one last night... 

After wearing some comfy clothes, I headed downstairs. Everyone was busy eating breakfast without even asking me to join them... 

I poured some tea into my mug and then sat next to my younger brother, Luie. 

Luie was busy playing with his phone while eating, and my dad was reading the newspaper as he slurped his coffee...

My mom glared at me from behind her glasses and said seriously, "You were late last night, dear..." 

...DEAR... How ironic, Mom... as always... 

+"It took longer than I thought." 

-"How did you get back?"

+"Ashley's friend dropped me off." 

-"Pathetic girl. Always busy with stupid things." She rolled her eyes and continued eating. 

...DO YOU HAVE TO BE THIS HURSH EARLY IN THE MORNING?!...

I sat there silently without eating anything...

Staring at our old table, full of scratches...

That usual sadness ate me up from inside, so I walked back to my room and slumped down on my bed to sleep again... 

~

[17:35]

As I opened my eyes in the evening, I saw my adorable 5 year old niece, Ella, staring at me in silence... 

"Heyyy~... Lil~..." she said with a bright smile on her face.

Her fresh, innocent soul filled me with a strange feeling of relief as I squeezed her into my arms, "Hey~ Ella~...".

"Waaah~... Liiil~... I can't breathe~..." she whined, which made me laugh... 

I kissed her cheeks. "Have you had fun at school?"

She nodded excitedly and jumped off the bed, then brought a piece of paper, handing it over to me. "I drew you today~... hehe~..."

As I glanced at her messy painting, a tear fell down my eyes, "Thank you~ Ella~ I love it~..."

Ella was scared of me crying out of the blue, and she asked worriedly with tearful eyes, "Lil~... Did I do ~ something wrong? ~... Why do... you... cry~...?..." 

"No! My cutiepie~... It's because I'm happy~..." I answered and hugged her. 

I saw my older sister, Rose, appeared, leaning against the doorframe with frowned eyebrows. "Do you have to act crazily in front of a little child, too?..." She groaned and came closer to pulling Ella out of my arms, "Let's go, Ella. You need to eat something~..." then lifted her and left the room. 

I shoved my face into my pillow, trying to keep the sound of my crying low... I was in pain and sorrow, but there was no one in this world to understand me...

..."...I'm so lonley... No one wants a girl like me..."...

After a long cry, I scrolled on my phone aimlessly and sent a few messages to Diana. However, there was no response...

I gritted my teeth, "Maybe she just blurted out about being in touch... It was out of politeness. "... 

Diana didn't reply to any of my messages, and I fell asleep staring at my phone. 

~

[10:25]

It was tomorrow morning, and still no news from her...

I felt a sudden rush of nervousness...

..."Is she ignoring me?..."...

I dialled Diana's number while my hands were cold as ice, and my heartbeat was racing... 

As she answered the phone, I heard her angry voice, so I hung up immediately panicked... I put down my phone and told myself that it's over, Lily~... You ruined everything again~... Now she definitely hates you~...

I felt so helpless, so disappointed in myself...

While tears rolled down again for a few minutes nonstop, holding my head between my hands, I noticed my phone was ringing... 

It was her!... I should apologize!... I can't lose her!...

However, she apologized and invited me to dinner, which I didn't expect at all!... 

Joy and happiness returned to me again...

I walked to my closet to find an outfit, which could kinda match with her style, rummaging through my clothes... In comparison to her, I've always been too colourful...

Then Luie barged into my room, "Hey!... Crazy Lily... Go downstairs. Mom needs your help in the kitchen..."

I glared at him angrily, "Watch your mouth!... I'm older than you!...."

Luie just rolled his eyes and laughed, "Yeah, whatever... Now, go downstairs!" He turned around to leave, leaving me fuming with anger...

I'd helped my mom with house chores until 6 PM, and afterwards, I rushed upstairs to get ready... 

~

[18:55]

I sat down on our dark brown ugly couch in the living room, waiting for Diana... 

My mom glanced at me with a raised eyebrow while sitting next to me with the TV remote in her hand, "Do you have a date or something?... Dressing differently!..."

+"I have plans with a friend..." 

Luie laughed at me across the room, "You?!... A friend!... What a joke~... " 

I lost control and yelled, "I warned you to talk to me properly!" 

My mom slapped me hard on my arm, "And I'm warning you not to yell in front of me, nor treat my son like that!..." 

I stared at my mom furiously, trying to hold back my words and emotions... " I should restrain myself. I can't argue right now. Otherwise, they won't let me go out tonight..."...

My mom added, "Be careful not to get pregnant with your supposed friend... Your sister is enough!"

I clenched my fists, letting out a sigh while looking at my phone's screen, waiting for her call... 

After passing 20 minutes, Diana finally arrived, and I stormed off the house...

~

[21:15]

After dinner, we decided to stroll in a park nearby for a while... 

The atmosphere was heavy between us since Diana apologized to me for her oblivious question during our dinner... An awkward silence reigned between us...

While we were walking, following and watching her from behind, I asked her anxiously, "Wanna know my story?~..."

I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to share my pitiful past with someone who barely knew each other. But I felt like I could trust her since she's unique... 

Diana turned around and stared at me silently for a moment, then said calmly, "I don't like forcing people to reveal themselves or their hurtful past to me just because of my curiosity. I prefer not to know if that's the case... However, if you need an ear, I'll listen to you..." 

My heart skipped a beat as I heard that... 

What a mature person!... 

I'm so glad Ashley sent you my way... 

Or should I say destiny? Did that?!...