01 

JOL KESANDU NWANI FIRST met Aafia Toma one night in late October, under a vast canopy of stars, her skin still hot from an argument with her parents. She’d snuck out to calm down,  going to the park where she often went to listen to soft music. The trees swayed gently; the wind howled in the background. The autumn air was cool against her skin. A soft acoustic song about a girl’s hair played through her earbuds.   

Jol sighed, her anger melting the more she ignored what had happened with her parents. She didn’t want to think about anything that they had said. She didn’t want to think. Though, she often didn’t want to think. Thinking was dangerous for people like her. 

Jol turned up the volume of her music. Now it was a louder, more upbeat song by an unknown artist she’d discovered online.  

She bobbed her head to the music as she strolled down the sidewalk in the direction of the park. It was empty these days since more and more retired elderly moved to their neighborhood, and the young adults moved to a place with children for their own to play with. The park was serene and calming for when she needed to get away, so she often went there on her midnight walks.  There was a relatively undamaged swing set, a fenced off dog park, and vast lawns made for sinking into the grass to gaze at the stars.  

She loved watching the stars; she always had. When she was younger, and her parents were happy, they’d go out to the backyard. Her dad would point out the constellations—and she would giggle. She always ended up falling asleep with her mom petting her curls. 

Jol missed when she was young and didn’t worry about money or bills or if she’d have a home after her 18th birthday. She missed being carefree. Maybe every teenager did, though.  

Jol arrived at the park around ten  p.m., and she knew she’d have to stay a lot longer than normal if she wanted to avoid her parents. Her parents stayed up late and were light sleepers, which made sneaking out quite difficult, but she’d managed it for years.  

The song changed again.  She walked past the old playground that used to be lively. As expected, it was now vacant. The park was looking dark tonight, though it always looked frightening when the daylight faded and the stars came out. She was used to it. The trees loomed over her, the street lamps dim and flickering. Jol grinned.  

The park was a familiar type of welcoming to her.  

She sat down in one of the large clearings, laying her head back to look up at the night sky. The sky was so beautiful, so impossibly endless, so large and vast. Sometimes, when she was looking at the twinkling stars, muddled by light pollution, she wished to be up there, nothing but a speck of light that was pretty when grouped with others.  She sighed, mind riddled with thoughts as her music faded.  

She turned up the volume as the next song started.  

Earbuds blasting a smooth instrumental that helped to further calm her down, Jol laid against the grass and watched the stars.  

She hadn’t noticed the approaching footsteps, nor had she heard the curious voice call out to her. So it was to her surprise when her earbuds were ripped out and a rather pretty person smiled at her.  

“Hi, I’m Aafia, what are you doing here?” Aafia asked with an infuriating smile, barely hesitant. 

Jol glared; she’d just wanted to listen to music, and the poor kid had caught her at a bad time.  

“Oops, did I interrupt your quiet time? Sorry about that.” Aafia didn’t look very sorry as they sat down next to Jol, still holding her earbuds captive. Jol let out a frustrated noise that the person beside her either didn’t notice or didn’t care to acknowledge. Aafia smiled, then, and it was so happy that Jol wanted to scream. How come they were so happy at ten at night sitting with a possibly dangerous stranger in a park?  

Aafia seemed to want to fill the silence as they talked, their voice slowly becoming more confident until they were openly waving their arms and squealing.  

“So, you didn’t answer my question,” Aafia went on when it stayed quiet for too long. “What are you doing here, at this park, at this hour, on this day? What are the odds that we’d meet here at the same time!” They were getting too loud, and Jol needed her music if she was going to keep her cool. She groaned when Aafia threw their hands in the air just as Jol reached for her earbuds.  

“None of your business, Princess,” Jol grumbled, still reaching for her earbuds.  

“Oh! They speak!” Aafia cheered.  

“She,” Jol grunted.  

“Huh?” Aafia said with their head tilted.  

“I said, I go bye she—”  

“Ooh me too!” Aafia interrupted, her arms waving around and feet kicking. It would’ve been cute had she been a child and not a teenager. Jol grunted when she almost got hit in the face by a wayward arm.  

“Ok, can I have—” Jol began, when Aafia suddenly got up and ran over to a bag a few feet behind them that Jol hadn’t noticed earlier. She came back with the bag hanging from her shoulder and a notebook in her hands.  

“Can I draw you?” she asked. Jol scowled, disbelief written across her face. “I guess not,” she said, looking disappointed. Jol almost felt guilty, until she saw her headphones dangling in Aafia’s hands.  

“Give me back my—”  

“Ooh! Wanna see some of my drawings, and then you can decide? I like drawing a lot; it’s sort of like a coping mechanism, which I probably shouldn’t share with you considering you’re a stranger, but whatever—” she continued to ramble without a pause, and Jol quickly tuned out, thinking about her parents again and what they’d said.  

She was starting to get upset when she heard Aafia mention something about the stars.  

“What was that?” she said. Aafia looked up in excitement.  

“You were listening! No one ever listens to me. They say it’s because I don’t understand boundaries and that I’m like a squirrel with a coffee addiction, but I think it’s just because they don’t realize how amazing I am—”  

“Aafia.”  

“Oh.” Her mouth opened, her gaze filled with something unknown and shock, then she snapped back to reality. “That’s the first time you’ve said my name, I like it. You have a nice voice, you know. It’s very—”  

“Aafia.” Jol said again, shortly.  

“Oh, right. Well, I was saying that the stars are so pretty and they’re sort of like an escape because you can just get lost in them, and I love painting the stars because you can never go wrong. You can never go wrong with any art really, because it’s not a competition it’s a form of expression—”  

“I like the stars, too.” Jol said, almost a whisper. Aafia still heard her, and stopped talking to listen. “They’re all alone up there, so far away, but they still have the courage to shine…” She didn’t realize that she was talking gently, that her voice almost quivered and her eyes almost welled up.  

“Yeah, they’re quite inspirational if you think about it…” she replied; her voice quiet to match the new mood.  

“Sometimes I wish to be stardust, to become the stars, to be far away and alone yet admired by some. Sometimes I’m in the mood to dissolve in the sky…” She regretted saying it as soon as the words came out of her mouth. However, she couldn’t take them back. Why she had opened up to an annoying stranger so easily, Jol didn’t know.  

“Sometimes I’m in the mood to be nothing but stardust, too. But then I realize that there are some pretty amazing people on this earth that I haven’t annoyed yet, and I want to stay for a while longer before I shine as bright as the north star up in space,” Aafia whispered. Jol chuckled.  

They sat, both thinking; one regretting her words slightly less, and the other so very happy that someone finally listened to her.  

Jol smiled into the night. “You’re not so bad when you start making sense, Princess.”  

“You’re not so bad when you’re not grumpy and incomprehensible, Stardust.”  

“Ooh big words for a princess,” Jol smiled and hoped Aafia couldn’t see it. “And, Stardust? Really?”  

“What, you don’t like it?” Aafia laughed with her head thrown back.  

“I don’t mind, Princess... Say, wanna stay for a while? I can’t go home until my parents fall asleep, and they stay up late,” Jol said. Her earbuds lay abandoned between them.  

“Yeah, that’d be nice. You don’t mind if I talk, do you? Because a lot of people say I talk too much, but I honestly don’t see it. I think I talk a normal amount, maybe a bit fast, but there isn’t anything wrong with that. Do you wanna see my drawings? Can I draw you? I love drawing people, just quick sketches. I don’t worry about accuracy most of the time, it’s just something that relaxes me. I can draw you, right? Thanks—” Jol laughed and turned her body to face Aafia’s. She jokingly posed, but to her surprise Aafia had her stay right where she was.  

“You’re very beautiful from what I can see,” Aafia said. Jol almost blushed, not expecting that. “I love your hair; it’s so wild and untamable. Beautiful.”  

This time Jol did blush. She was grateful for her dark skin at that moment.  

“I- um, thanks?” she said. Her curls fell in her face when she looked down to hide her blush, even though with the night and her skin, it wouldn’t be visible in any scenario. Aafia laughed. Jol pretended to hate it.  

“Tilt your head this way…” Aafia brought her hand to Jol’s face and tilted it, rubbing the other girl’s face in an almost caress as she pulled away. Jol felt her face heat up.  

After a few minutes of silence, Aafia spoke up.  

And they talked. 

About everything and nothing, laughing at how funny Aafia’s drawings looked under the flashlight of her phone, giggling together for absolutely no reason, Jol posing silly and opening up for the first time as she laughed a full body laugh.  

It was fun to let go with a strange girl she’d just met about an hour before.  

It was fun.  

Jol had fun.