River's POV

Light, sparse tapping awoke me from my beauty rest. Not like I’ve been getting much of that recently, anyway. Remy hadn’t been asleep for that long, but I found myself staring up at the dark ceiling. The colorful techno-LED lights were off, leaving me to make out the strange patterns on the crown molding above me.

I had lucked out today, my human crashing as soon as they were two episodes deep into their TV marathon. It worked out; Remy was too tired to run me through the gauntlet of questions he probably had ready. It just bought me more time to figure out just how much I should really tell him. Our past life was complicated. It didn’t take a genius to know that, but I knew it had to all come out eventually. Remy wasn’t a child anymore; he was grown, with a mind of his own. But I still didn’t think he had to know everything.

Our pregnancy wasn’t exactly helping with the situation either. Emotional over everything, everyone was so excited, but I couldn’t get caught up in the same emotions. There were much bigger, scarier problems we needed to handle first before I could let my guard down and get comfortable with the idea that I was going to be a parent. Deep down, I was happy too, but there were too many factors now that could harm our pups—and I wasn’t about to take any chances.

My mind seemed to get stuck on those nightmares from dark memories. Some things you couldn’t forget no matter how much you try. Life was cruel, and I knew all of the ugly parts of it. Maybe that’s why I didn't want my human to witness any of it. After all, ignorance was bliss. It was hard not to see Remy as the cute innocent kid from the past, too naive to understand exactly what was going on around us. It was selfish of me, I know, but I always wanted to protect him. My human meant everything to me, more than he ever would know. And I had once made a promise. One that I intended to keep.

Always and forever, I’d keep him safe.

Tap, tap, tap.

In the darkness, quietly listening to strange cracking sounds that kept me awake. It could very well be the old house settling along its aging foundation, but I didn’t like it. Things like that always bothered me. Anything out of the ordinary was cause for concern, especially since he was here.

Fucking shit! Out of all fucking people on this cursed planet, it just had to be him.

Ares was the last person I ever wanted to see, and I had so thoroughly believed the Alpha had died a long time ago. Of course, I had no proof of that, but it gave me peace of mind to know that fucker took his last breath in some rotting prison or had strung out on some drugs in a shit-stained back alleyway. Silly fantasies I made up in my head to avoid the truth of the matter.

But Ares didn’t die. He was here, and I wasn’t sure what was going to happen now. He was unpredictable, and greed made him unstoppable. He clearly wasn’t here for the money or to see his long-lost nephew. There was something else he wanted–but just what the hell was it?

I gotta find out what he’s planning before anything happens.

Biting my nails, I turned over in my bed, pulling the covers over my face. Anything to get comfortable again. I couldn’t sleep downstairs; an innate fear of being too close to the front door pulled me upstairs. I always needed to sleep furthest away from doors and windows. As long as I wasn’t so close, nothing could snatch me away.

It also didn’t help that my mates had straight-up abandoned me. That wasn’t doing anything good for my sense of security either.

What a bunch of lying hypocrites! “Oh, I love you, River. You're the only one for me,” my ass. Probably out somewhere fucking each other. It wouldn’t be the first time. I hate them so much.

That wasn’t true. I didn't actually hate them but it didn’t change the fact that I was alone right now. Remy had tried to mindlink them earlier on in the night and they still didn’t answer. They ghosted us and for what? That’s what I really wanted to know.

What could be a good enough reason to ignore me? Me?! Did they not care about what happened to us today? Were they just worried about themselves?

I was becoming irrational. Not long ago, I couldn’t stand to be in the same room with those two Alphas. It became my sole mission at the time, doing everything in my power to break Remy’s stupid infatuation with them but I still failed. They used their stupid sexy looks and charm to reel him in, and before I could realize it,—I ended up hooked too. Now I was the one who was upset because I didn’t have their attention—just…

“Fuck!” I cursed. I threw the covers up over my head. Everything was falling apart. Loneliness was nothing new to me. I fooled myself to relish the silence. A sense of peace knowing I only had myself and my human to look out for. No personal attachments, just the quiet.

I had to think like that as a means of survival, but now that wasn’t the case anymore. Looking for affection in all the warm places, I caught myself craving a life I had secretly longed for…talking to the Alphas, waking up covered in their scents… knowing I was wanted by those two. I couldn’t fathom my life without them and just one night showed I had grown too attached to the idea I could live a happy life here.

Me? I didn’t deserve such a luxury.

I lived life with plenty of regrets, but did I have to be reminded of everything all at once?

Goddamit, fuck this shit.

Like a dream standing at the edge of the water's past, no amount of wishful thinking could change what I did. What I saw. A pounding sensation gripped my scalp. I held my head to ease the drilling pain. Thoughts of her rose unbidden beautiful memories tucked away in a long-forgotten box. On that day, I swore I would never leave her, but I broke that promise.

A faint image replayed, a small solemn version of myself waking up in the cold forest. Remy was still asleep, peaceful in my mind. The sun wasn’t even up when I made my way back to the trailer. I did this every night. The moment the sun vanished from the sky, my mother would urge me to leave.

"Go, remember to not come back tonight," she whispered. Her words weren’t entirely cold. They still lingered with warmth as she knelt down to hug me. 

"I promise, baby, after tonight you won’t have to sleep out there anymore." She gave her best smile, holding back tears as my mother fixed my hair, a nervous manner of hers.

"You promise?" I asked, my purple eyes staring into her big, brown eyes. My cute little voice still cut right through me, straight to the gut. As if I were a fly on the wall, re-watching the worst day of my life all over again.

"I promise. We’re gonna run away tomorrow. Just you and I. We’ll live in that big ole house with a yard and get ya that puppy you always wanted."

"Really? But Remy wants a cat. Can we have both?" I watched myself light up, being swept away by my mother’s empty promises.

"Yes, of course, baby. Y’all can have both." She kissed my forehead. 'Now go on before it’s too late. I don’t want your uncle to see you."

Naïve and full of foolish dreams, I scurried away to the forest's edge. Lying down in a deep hole I had dug a few weeks before, my mind wondered about the life we would never have. Just beyond the few bushes was the river. Slowly winding its way through the forest, my eyes seem to always find it in the thick brush.

Sleep had eluded me that night, and I found myself doing something I wasn’t supposed to ever do. I thought it would be ok to come home a little earlier, in hopes of giving us time to pack some things before we moved. I waited just a little while by the trailer to make sure Ares wasn’t there. When I didn’t hear anything, I took my chance and snuck inside.

"Mom?" I called out for her, getting nothing as a response. Mom? On a barren mattress, her body lay still. Stiff and unmoving. I don’t know how many times I shook her corpse, crying as I tried to wake her up.

"Please, mom, we have to go. Wake up."

Nothing. I was too young to understand what was happening. If I had some more sense, I would have checked her breathing or done something instead of crying. But how could I ever know? I was just a pup.

I had lost everything in one fell swoop. Somehow, I figured out how to call the police, my little fingers dialing the numbers on the phone I was never allowed to touch. Maybe I thought they could ‌help, but there was no bringing her back. What I didn’t anticipate was Ares’ response. The Alpha burned down the whole damn place just looking for me, along with the evidence of his dark empire.

Life lost all meaning that day. As a matter of convenience, my mind only focused on getting Remy somewhere safe—somewhere where he could learn to smile again. It hadn’t occurred to me that that night could have been different if I’d stayed in the forest. Arriving at the time my mother expected me home, maybe then she would have been awake and we could have left together.

Maybe. That I'd never get to know. All I knew now was that she was alive, and I needed to save her.

Tap, tap, tap.

My body froze, immediately put on alert as I stared up at my window. A tiny pebble bounced over the panel glass. Someone was outside.

Edited by ArcisOne & Patroklos

A/N Happy Friday everyone! Getting a River POV. Wanted to give some context to everything that just happened in the first few chapters. River has his reasons but still, he needs to open up to Remy. Part 2 is tomorrow!