Moses couldn’t sleep. He silently cursed at himself as he tossed and turned under the covers. He was freezing. Dean had a habit of keeping the house blisteringly cold, which was a new habit of his. He remembered one summer in one of their shitty old apartments passing out from heat stroke. His father wasn’t even there for that. Go figure. He was lucky a neighbor found him when she’d heard his body hit the floor from the apartment below. God, why am I thinkin’ of that now? He sighed, turning on the light on the nightstand and grabbing his bible. If he couldn’t sleep, at least he could read. It was entirely in Spanish, and it served to keep his spirits up and his skills sharpened most of the time. It was worn and ripped and dog-eared, riddled with sticky notes. It was one of the first books he’d ever read, given to him by his grandmother many years ago, and one of the only things he had to remember her by. Maria was always the type of person who gave everything for the people she loved. She was a singer when she was young, and met his grandfather, a boisterous pilot, they fell in love and had his father. He’d never met his grandfather, but she used to tell all kinds of wonderful stories about him. Maria had basically birthed a love of music for Moses. They’d watch old musicals on TV and sing along to them, and she’d blare her old jukebox so the house was full of music. When she died, he was too young to fully comprehend what had happened. He’d cry and beg and scream to go back to grandma Maria’s house where it was always warm and music was always playing and he was safe. He was happy. He was loved. Even now, he could feel his eyes welling up, a lump forming in his throat. He jolted as he heard a soft knock on his door.

“Yeah?”

Teeran opened the door slowly and carefully.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, not at all. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither.”

Moses smirked.

“Maybe we’re psychically connected.”

“Maybe we are.”

Teeran wore a dark blue silk robe, which shimmered in the moonlight and contrasted with his hair. Even in the dead of night, sleep deprived and all, he was still pristine. Is he even a real human?

“Is Mal back yet?”

“Fuck if I know. He’s been weird these past few days.”

“That’s a shame,” Teeran frowned, “he gets like this sometimes. It’s nothing against you, so don’t worry. I’ve known him long enough to know his funks are self-inflicted.”

“Does he ever talk about what’s bothering him?”

“Not a word. Dean and I know next to nothing about his past, other than the fact that he was using and homeless when we met him.”

“Is that why he started living with y’all?”

Teeran nodded.

“I was actually your dad’s sponsor when he started recovery. That’s how we met.”

Moses raised his brows in surprise.

“Wow, I never knew that.”

“We were both so messed up back then. Still are in some ways.”

Moses bit his lip, thinking about what it must’ve been like for them back then. There was so much he wanted to know. So much he missed from the 3 year gap since he’d seen his father or known of his life.

“What was he like when you met him? My dad, I mean.”

Teeran sat on the edge of the bed next to Moses.

“To be quite honest…he was a real piece of work. Couldn’t hold down a job, seeing countless women back to back. Not that I was much better. I was terrified of commitment and had a string of not-so-nice boyfriends. Dunno if you could even call them boyfriends. Was cheated on countless times, your dad has been the only guy who’s ever treated me right.”

“I’m surprised he got better, to be honest.”

“I understand why.”

“What would you do if you were me?”

Teeran leaned back into the bed, his long hair falling back onto the bedspread.

“I’d give him hell. Cuss him out. I’d be furious.”

“Are you allowed to say that?”

Teeran smiled softly.

“Of course I’m allowed to say that,” he whispered, “he’s been a thorn in my side since we met. He’s brutish, impulsive, overbearing and can’t color-match to save his goddamn life. I’ve never loved anyone more.”

“It sounds like he drives you insane.”

“Someone can drive you mad and be the love of your life.”

“I…I don’t think I can forgive him.”

“No one expects you to, sweetheart. You aren’t obligated to forgive him or any other man that’s fucked you over.”

“Are you mad at him?”

Teeran chuckled.

“I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t a part of me that wasn’t, but he knows that. He’s trying. He’s working hard. For both of us. For you, most of all. I’m not gonna tell you how you’re supposed to feel or how to live your life. It’s not up to me. It’s not up to him either.”

Moses swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat again.

“Has my mom contacted you?”

Teeran shook his head.

“I figured as much. She…she doesn’t like me. I don’t really think she loves me either.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that.”

“Not your fault. My mom is not a good person. She’s never wanted me to be myself…or even exist, for that matter.”

“That’s her fault. I hope you know that.”

“Y’know the worst part about it? I do love my mom. I love my dad, too.”

Teeran ran his hand through Moses’ mess of hair, getting it out of his face.

“She doesn’t deserve you.”

Moses didn’t even realize he was crying at first, it just happened. It’s funny how emotions can get away from someone if they’re not careful. Teeran wrapped his arms around the boy, and it felt like a protection. He was warm, and his long hair grazed Moses’ arms. He remembered when Maria would hold him like this and sing to him, which somehow made him cry even more. 

“I miss my grandma so much,” he sobbed, “every day I miss her more. There’s somethin’ seriously wrong with me. I’m so stupid.”

Teeran hugged him tighter.

“Why does everyone leave me? I should be used to it by now. My mom never wanted me, after all. My grandma…she loved me, but she died…my dad…I don’t know…I feel like he’s gonna leave me again and I don’t know what to do about it. What do I do?!”

“I would never leave you behind,” Teeran murmured, his voice choked with tears, “Neither would your dad, and I know you don’t believe me yet, but I need you to know that I love you and you’re the one who makes our life complete.”

“How can you say that, you just met me?”

“You don’t always need a reason for loving someone. You are the reason I want things to work. You and your father have saved my life. You’re my family, and I would never abandon you. No matter what.”

Moses lifted his face from Teeran’s chest, seeing tears streaming down his delicate face. Teeran ran his hands through the wild mane of his hair.

“You have this amazing, beautiful hair, don’t ya?”

Moses rolled his eyes.

“It’s a fuckin’ mess! Yours is way prettier.”

Teeran scoffed, “Oh, please. Your hair is absolutely gorgeous! It’s so thick and soft. You should consider modeling.”

“I don’t think I’m cut out for that life.”

Teeran laughed.

“I know how you feel. I had to turn down a couple agencies in my teenage years. Of course, that was a million years ago.”

“You can’t be THAT old.”

“I’m older than your dad.”

“Really?”

“Is it that surprising?”
“I dunno. I guess. You don’t seem old to me.”

“I get that a lot.”

Moses felt a warmth in his chest. It felt safe, secure. Moses wasn’t familiar with security. He’d never felt it with either of his parents, the only time he ever really remembered this sensation was with his grandmother. It was overwhelming, this feeling was so strong he felt his chest could burst in any instant.

“My wish for you,” Teeran said after a minute of comfortable silence, “is that you can feel comfortable with yourself, find out what you want and heal from whatever you need to. Whatever way I can help with that, I want to.”

“I don’t…I haven’t figured out what that means for me.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Thank you.”

Teeran nodded, getting up from the bed.

“You are so much more than you can dream about. And where you are right now is the beginning of things to come. You are well on your way to something better. Now, you get some sleep. Good night.”

“‘Night, Teeran.”