(TW: Miscarriage)
“Sparrow and I were really impulsive last night. I mean I’d been thinking about it for a while and he finally returned my affections so we,” Thomas’ face flared and I sighed.
“We had sex.”
“Jesus Aero,” Thomas groaned, “yes. We did. We were using protection but right when I… finished the condom broke and… Sparrow isn’t on birth control so…”
“Oh my fucking god,” Theodore sighed angrily, “oh Thomas. Goddammit. Are you serious?”
“Dead serious.”
“Sparrow. I don’t mean to be invasive and I apologize for this now but when is your next period?”
“Should be in the next 13 days,” I chewed on my lip, “why?”
“Because that means… you’re ovulating. We had to track Cece to figure out the best time for her to get invitro for Tommy and Dexter. You probably… you probably have an egg in your uterus and… if Tommy released like that then… the chance you are pregnant is really high. I mean higher than you’d think. So… so this is something that us parents have to figure out. You can go to the hospital in a week and ask for a blood test. That doesn’t mean it’ll actually tell you, you’ll still want to wait and take a test if your period is a few days late but… oh God,” there was a crashing sound followed by the sound of footsteps.
“Dad?” Thomas looked at his phone confused.
“Uh he’s vomiting,” Killian sighed, “he’s terrified. You have to remember he was about your age with Kenzie. But he did most of it alone. Papa Lucas and Papa Addi wanted to help more but he refused to let them. He’s so hardheaded and thought he had to be self-reliant. You don’t. Neither of you. Look, if it turns out you’re… gonna be parents… god I might vomit too… I’ll talk with Shiloh and we’ll figure out what to do.”
“But I already have a plan.”
“Me too,” I called and everyone looked at me, “look I fucking hate college. It’s so hard and stressful. It’s not doing anything for me. I don’t need it to follow through with taking over the bookshop. I already know how to run it. I know how to do everything. Tommy can learn to run the cafe. It’s far more difficult but he’s smart and can learn. Dad is a good teacher. The apartment above the shops has two bedrooms. So we can stay there for now. I want to get the hell out of Berkeley. I’ll pay back my loans and everything… everything is going to be fine. Baby or no baby… I want to come home.”
“I just want to be with Aero,” Thomas shrugged, looking at my parents, “I meant what I said. I want to be where he is.”
“We believe you Tommy, don’t worry,” Shiloh smiled, “Killian?”
“Yes.”
“I’ll have Tommy send you my number. Text or call when Theodore is done panicking and we can have a serious talk. Either way I’d like to meet you both. With our sons being so close, it seems like no matter what we’ll be a part of each others lives and frankly, Kai and I could use friends.”
“Hey speak for yourself,” Kai huffed.
“No I’ll speak for both of us.”
“I see where you get it from,” Thomas whispered in my ear, making me laugh.
“Thomas Adrian,” Killian clicked his tongue, “I… I love you and I want you to know that we aren’t going to be disappointed in you. Just massively surprised by this news.”
“Yeah you’re not the only one.”
There was a crash from the living room and we all turned.
“What the hell?” Kai took off running.
“Dad I’ll call you back something’s happening. I love you,” Thomas hung up, chasing after Kai and I was right on his heels.
We found Hannah in the middle of the living room, laying on the floor as she gripped her stomach, Callum right next to her as Orion called for an ambulance.
“Oh my god, Hannah!” I ran over and squatted down, “hey what’s-“ that’s all I managed to say before I saw the small pool of blood forming near her thighs, “oh no.”
“What’s going on?” Kai panicked, gripping Callum's shoulder.
“She might be miscarrying,” I whispered, “Hannah. Hey it’s going to be okay. We’re here. Where’s your phone? I’ll call your dad.”
“My jacket pocket,” she cried softly, reaching for Callum.
“Okay. I’m gonna grab it,” reaching into her jacket, I took her hand to unlock her phone and ran into the kitchen, finding the contact for her father Finn and calling quickly.
“Hey Hannah banana!” Finn answered immediately.
“Hello sir? My name is Sparrow, I’m Callum's little brother. We… my cousin is calling an ambulance for Hannah right now. We think she’s… she might be miscarrying and…”
“What hospital will she go to?” Panic immediately filled his voice.
“Pa! What’s the closest hospital!” I called to Shiloh, “where the hell will they take Hannah!”
“Probably Saint Alphonsus in Boise,” Shiloh called back.
“Saint Alphonsus. It’s in Boise. I’ll give your number to my dad and make sure he keeps you updated.”
“Sparrow, give me the phone,” Kai deepened his tone and I ran over, giving it to him, “hi my name is Kai. I’m one of Callum’s dads. I’m gonna go with Cal and Hannah to the hospital. The ambulance is almost here. Right. Fly out carefully, the weather is bad. I’ll have my husband pick you up when you land. I promise you Hannah is safe with us. Yes. You’re very welcome.”
Kai handed Callum Hannah’s phone and I walked over to Thomas, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.
“I’m scared for them,” I whispered.
“I know. Me too,” he leaned into me.
“I don’t want this to happen to us too,” I sniffled.
“If you’re pregnant, we get you the best medical care okay? I promise,” he whispered, covering my hands with his own.
The paramedics arrived and once they had Hannah comfortable, they confirmed that they were going to Boise. Kai and Callum loaded in with Hannah and the rest of us sat in silence.
“What the hell do we do now?” I whispered.
“I’m going to… to clean this and then… then…” Shiloh stared at the bloodstain in the middle of the floor, “did you know?”
“Cal… told us this morning that Hannah might be pregnant. She had pretty severe morning sickness so I went to get her two tests and…” I sniffled.
“How far along?”
“Two months.”
“Okay,” he continued to stare and Thomas slowly walked over, squatting down next to him.
“Shiloh. I can clean it up. What can we do to help you?”
“I just… Cal loves Hannah. This is the first time we’re meeting her in person and…”
“Uncle Shi,” Orion called from the couch, “you can’t always decide when… when something like this will happen. It’s 1 in four. Well… actually two in four. I had… I miscarried last year and I… I can’t have children anymore. I’m hoping that Hannah has placenta previa. That’ll mean that while the placenta has detached, the baby is okay.”
“I can’t handle being a grandfather this early. Two babies? No thanks.”
“Two?” Orion looked at him confused.
“I… Ori,” I chewed my lip and she glared at me.
“Please for the love of God tell me it’s not Casey’s.”
“I mean I’m not even sure yet. I won’t be able to tell for at least two weeks but no…” I gestured to Thomas and he nervously wrung his hands.
“Oh I’m gonna kill you!” Orion shouted, jumping to her feet, “Sparrow is a baby!”
“I’m younger than him by two days,” Thomas whispered.
“W… what?” Orion froze.
“Why does everyone think I’m older than I am?”
“This,” I rubbed his closely trimmed beard softly, “you look so much older than me.”
“I… oh Sparrow,” Orion sighed.
“I’m fine. It’s not about me. I’m more worried about Hannah. What does this mean for Christmas?”
“Well… we’ll still go forward as planned,” Shiloh sighed, “even if Callum and Hannah aren’t in spirits or even here. I want to invite her dad too. He’s missing time with their family. It’s time I met him but we’ll just… play it by ear. Ugh. I need a drink.”
As Shiloh made himself a rum and coke, Thomas and I began cleaning the floor as Orion got things ready for Christmas Day. We kept looking at each other nervously and I leaned over, kissing him slowly.
“Sparrow?” He whispered as I pulled back.
“Thank you. For not running. For being here. Even with the uncertainty. Thank you for being my best friend and the absolutely best future partner a guy could have asked for.”
“You really do want to be together at some point?” He leaned back, resting his rear on his heels.
“I do. We’re going to head back to Berkeley, pack up our shit, and move into the apartment above the shop. Once my aunties old house is ready for us, we’ll move in there. Getting out of California… living together… it’ll give you time to really decide if you want this life with me. If you ever want to go back to Indiana, you can but know that I’m coming along.”
“Sparrow,” he laughed and tackle-hugged me, making me land back in the rug with a loud thud.
“Jesus Christ!” Orion laughed from her spot on the couch, “you’re strong.”
“I like weight lifting,” Thomas shrugged, still on top of me and I smiled, watching fondly as he talked to my cousin, their conversation muted as I focused solely on how attractive Thomas actually was.
He’s beautiful.
Rugged but beautiful.
I’m… lucky.
To be the one to get his affection.
“Tommy?” I cupped his chin and forced him to look at me.
“Yes Starlight?”
“Kiss me again?”
“Oh,” his cheeks grew pink and he softly pressed his lips to mine, smiling as he did, “anything for you,” he whispered.
“Sparrow! Orion! Thomas! Get in here!” Shiloh called from the kitchen and both Orion and I groaned.
“What’s wrong?” Thomas looked at me confused.
“It’s begun. I hope you weren’t planning to sleep tonight.”
“I’m still confused.”
“Just wait. You’ll see,” Orion sighed, getting to her feet.
We all made our way into the kitchen to find Shiloh sitting at the dining table, a bottle of rum next to him as he stared into his drink. We took seats around him, my hand on Thomas’ thigh under the table.
“So. Boys,” he turned to Thomas and me, “take my car. Go see Ma and Pa. Tell them what’s going on then go do the same with the rest of the family. I don’t just mean what’s going on with Hannah. I mean you two as well. I can’t drive now which means I’ll need you,” he looked at Orion, “to go get Hannah’s dad. His name is Finn.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone when you’ve been drinking,” I whispered.
“He’s not alone,” someone called from the doorway and I found my uncle Alder, “I’m here. He texted me to come over because he’s stressed. So here I am. What the fuck is going on?”
“Hannah might be miscarrying,” Shiloh shot the rest of his drink back before making another, “and Sparrow might be pregnant.”
“Jesus Pa,” I sighed, “way to soften the blow.”
“You think I’d do that for Alder? Please. He can handle it.”
“Yeah but I can’t.”
“Alright so. Callum got Hannah pregnant. Okay,” Alder sat next to Orion, “hi pretty niece.”
“Hi,” Orion nodded, grabbing a spare cup from the table and making her own rum and coke.
“Hey! That’s mine,” Shiloh pouted.
“Shut it,” Orion sighed.
“And Sparrow… fuck,” Alder groaned, “I’m guessing it’d be yours?” He gestured at Thomas who nodded, “you really thought it was a good idea to leave two 19 year olds alone in your house?” He snorted, looking at Shiloh.
“Aero was so adamant they were just friends that I… didn’t consider the fact that he was probably hiding how he felt.”
“Honestly,” I looked at Thomas, chewing my lip, “I didn’t think I had the capacity to care for someone after… what happened. Tommy knows, I already told him. I didn’t realize until we were trying to stay warm when the power went out. I was holding him and… it clicked. So it just kinda happened.”
“You used a condom?”
“Yes. It broke.”
“Ugh,” Alder slammed his forehead into the table, “Cora is going to kill Tommy.”
“Why does everyone want to hurt me? Orion already scared the fuck out of me,” Thomas huffed.
“Because Sparrow is the baby and… it’s really hard for any of us to see that he’s technically an adult now. We don’t want to accept that fact,” Shiloh continued to drink and I slowly took the rum from him, “put it back.”
“No,” shaking my head, I closed the bottle and put it on top the fridge, “now you can’t get it unless you put your leg on.”
“You’re a dick, Sparrow Jasper.”
“And you’re drunk. We’re all struggling right now. It’s a… a bad Christmas,” wiping my nose, I started to cry again and Thomas immediately ran over to me, wrapping me in a tight hug.
“I’m here,” he whispered, pressing a feather light kiss to my collarbone.
“I know, Chip.”
The doorbell rang and I looked at Shiloh who shrugged. Letting go of Thomas, I ran over to open it and stopped, my heart dropping into my stomach.
“Grammy,” I whispered as I looked at my grandmother Joanna, “you’re here?”
“Shiloh texted me,” she softly kissed my cheek, “thatcher is… uh… thatcher!” She called over her shoulder.
“I’m right here Jesus,” my grandfather thatcher made his way up the porch, “I’m old now stop yelling.”
“You’re 66!” I snorted, “you’re not old.”
“Whatever,” he poked my nose, “hi Aero.”
“Hi Papa,” I stepped aside and let them into the house, my hands shaking.
“Where’s your Pa?”
“I’m in here!” Shiloh called, his voice slurred.
“Is he drunk?” Joanna whispered.
“A bit. He’s been powerhousing rum,” I whispered back and the doorbell rang again, “oh for fucks sake. Pa did you call the entire family!”
“I did,” Shiloh laughed, “we’re doing this now. Orion, Kai just texted. Go get Hannah’s dad.”
“Alright,” Orion sighed as her parents came into the house, “hi mom. Hey dad. Surprise.”
“Ori!” My aunt Juniper squealed happily, “oh hi baby.”
“Hi mom. I’ll… I need to go do something for uncle Shi then I promise to spend the rest of the night with the two of you okay?”
“Mhm.”
Orion hugged Juniper and Connor before grabbing Shiloh’s keys and rushing out of the front door.
Everyone else arrived including my great grandmother Kamilla, the only person missing from my family was my older sister Violet.
I really don’t want to do this.
But my family is dependable and loving.
It’ll be okay.
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