Chapter 6: Sleep

"Is it all right if I sleep a little longer?"

I'm unsure if these words were going through my head or if I actually said them. My eyes are still closed. I feel like I've been floating on clouds for ages. Every now and then, I fall out of them and hit the ground heavily. Still, before I can get used to the pain, a warm, comforting feeling surrounds me again and blows away everything unpleasant.

"I'd rather you didn't."

"Aww, man."

"Relax, I won't drag you out of bed."

"Thank you."

"No problem, but how about you try opening your eyes."

"If I have to."

I take a deep breath and prepare myself for the difficult task ahead. My eyelids are heavier than ever, but I can do it.

"Oh, I wasn't expecting that."

"What?"

"That you're actually opening your eyes. We played this game for the fourth time now."

It takes a moment for my vision to adjust to the light again, and even though it's still blurry, I recognize Miko sitting on a chair next to me.

"What happened?" my memories are as unclear as my eyesight. I remember trying to heal this impaled guy. I was in pain, and on the way to the hospital, I got an injection.

"Your body was totally fucked up. You had a fever of over 41°C, and the inflammation levels in your blood were more than worrying. The doctors seemed overwhelmed. But instead of dying, your body has simply recovered. You are on strong drugs all the time, but your vitals are almost back to normal."

"How long was I gone?"

"Around 24 hours."

"Felt longer."

"Oh really?"

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"Where else would I have been?"

"Thank you, Miko."

"It's fine."

"Is that guy from the guild here too?"

She shakes her head, but her face tells me she's about to laugh. Not quite what I expected.

"He was released this morning. Even last night, he was in much better condition than you. When he came into this room to check on you, I shooed him away. No worries, I gladly did."

"He's doing well?"

"Too well if you ask me."

I have no attachment to him, but it's a massive weight off my mind to hear that he's alive.

"Now that you're awake, I'll go and tell the nurse. Then we can get out of here soon."

"Thank you, and I'm sorry that I worried you."

"Who said I was worried? And if you want to apologize, apologize to Lilith. She's paying for this whole thing."

With Miko out of the room, I take a look around, lying in bed, as it goes without saying... I don't feel like getting up yet.

The room looks pretty much the same as they did back then. My mother was hospitalized for a long time, which is why I have a particular dislike for these places. But the medication that is currently being pumped into my veins not only helps against physical pain, it also soothes my mind.

Nevertheless, the smell that surrounds me is repelling. Back then, I used to bury my face in my mother's hair to escape it, but in the end, the smell of this room was the only thing that remained. It's crazy how everything comes back through this one memory. Not just smells but also images and voices. As if I had traveled back in time.

As a child, I spent a lot of time with my friends, inside and outside school. I hardly noticed how my mother's health was steadily declining. She would wake me up in the morning with a charming smile, prepare breakfast, and take me to school. I should have noticed that something was going on when this routine became less and less frequent.

When I was eight or nine years old, my head was filled with many things, but not with the suspicion that my mother was terminally ill.

Only when she was admitted to the hospital, it clicked for me. My parents told me that my mother had been undergoing treatment for several months. As a child, I could only think of one illness that could destroy a person so quickly.

Cancer.

While my parents tried to give me hope that my mother would get better, it wasn't just the doctors who were aware that I was being lied to.

"Why don't you just heal yourself?"

"Healing magic helps to heal things faster, but unfortunately, it can't heal anything meant to be broken."

"You told me magic is something wonderful."

"It is, but you can't force it to create miracles."

Thinking back, my mother seemed very composed while telling me she was beyond help. Perhaps that was also why I had never prepared to say goodbye.

Three months after I had visited her in hospital for the first time, my father picked me up from school in the middle of class. While my heart raced uncontrollably, I didn't even form the thought that Mom could be dying.

Dad burst into tears the moment we got into the car. I started crying, too. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to.

When we stopped at the hospital, he took me in his arms and ran off. He didn't know how much time we... how much time she had left.

The instant I entered my mother's room, I stopped weeping because although I could hardly recognize her with that sunken face, her gentle smile was as beautiful as ever. It comforted me even in a moment like that.

"Kayla, my love. I'm happy you're here. Is school over already?"

I nodded, "Yep."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yes."

"I'm glad you did. Hopefully, I'll be able to pick you up again soon."

"That would be nice."

I focused on her smile, which cracked right before my eyes. Her lips began to tremble uncontrollably, and even though she quickly covered her face with her hands, she couldn't hide the tears.

"I'm so sorry, Kayla, but I don't think I'll be able to pick you up again."

"That's okay, Mom. Really, I'm old enough to walk home by myself. Don't worry about it."

"Thank you for coming to see me."

The atmosphere was starting to take my breath away.

"Thank you for never getting mad at me for not playing with you anymore."

I felt like I was suffocating.

"I'm so sorry for leaving you alone."

Please stop talking.

"I really wanted to see you grow up. I'm sorry."

She started crying so hard she couldn't get another word out. I'll never forget that image of my mother. I couldn't take it anymore and ran away. My father, standing in the doorway, didn't stop me.

"Kayla? Are you crying?"

My eyes are fixed on Miko, who is just looking at me. I shrug my shoulders and shake my head slowly, unable to answer her.

"Are you in pain?"

Again, I shake my head.

"Ahh," she moans, annoyed, and slowly walks towards me. Standing before me, she puts a hand on the back of my head, presses my face to her chest, and starts to gently stroke my hair.

"If you don't like it, pull your head away, and don't you dare smear your snot on my shirt."

My nose fills with her lovely scent, the stench of the hospital slowly disappears, and with it, the sad memories.