I woke early the next morning with a splitting headache and the urge to pee so bad that I thought I was going to piss myself. I didn’t know where I was for a second until I remembered Hunter taking me back to his apartment and settling me down on his couch. As I get up, the room spins before I notice a water bottle with a note and two aspirin and shove them in my mouth and guzzle down the water until the bottle is empty. I then pick up the note.

What’s up duck? I am glad you are not dead. I have some yogurt in the fridge that you can have. Bathroom is the blue door. I am still sleeping. Please do not disturb my slumber!

XOXO Hunter

I smile at the note like an idiot before remembering that I have to pee. I get up and run to the blue door like my life depends on it. When I am finished, I wander into the kitchen and open Hunter’s fridge and sure enough, blueberry yogurt. I grab one and head back to the couch before I hear my phone go off.

“Hello?”

“Dammit Wil, where the hell are you? We were supposed to leave an hour ago!”

It’s Tommy. He sounds absolutely pissed.

“What?”

“The retirement home remember? Volunteering? Ring a bell?”

“Oh shit… Okay, I’ll be there in fifteen.”

I hang up, gather my stuff and leave Hunter's apartment. Before I go, I leave a message under his note.

Thanks for everything! You are a lifesaver! 

XOXO Wil

***

Tommy is pissed as he drives us to the retirement home. He hasn’t said a word to me since we got into his car.

“Look, I am sorry about this morning!”

“Mn… where were you? You never stay out.”

“I just stayed with a friend after the party. I was a little too drunk to go back to the apartment.”

“A friend? You don’t have friends.”

“Hey! I have friends. He is just someone that I meant recently.”

Tommy’s demeanor changed instantly. He went from an angry pitbull right back to his friendly shaggy lab. 

“He? You met a boy?”

“Nonono, hold your horses, it’s not like that.”

“Sure it isn’t Wil. It’s about damn time you got over the Jackass.”

I just groaned in response.

Tommy wouldn’t stop smiling the entire ride to the retirement home. Even when we parked and walked into the place, a big fat puppy grin was plastered onto his face. After meeting with the volunteer coordinator, whose name was Chloe, we were quickly separated and ushered away to our respective duties.

Tommy was lucky and had clean up duty in the recreational hall while I was stuck entertaining the oldies. Well one in particular. A lady named Birdie. As Chloe led me down the hall, she went on and on about how Birdie was an eccentric soul, which is obviously code for crazy, until we were at the door to her room. As soon as Chloe knocked on the door, I heard a deep raspy voice from inside the room. 

“What the hell is it now?”

Chloe chuckled to herself, turning to me and saying, “you see? Eccentric.” She then opened the door and stepped through before saying, “hello Birdie! Remember we talked about having a volunteer come and spend some time with you?”

“Eh, whatever.”

I stepped into the room and was met with an assault of green that covered every available space. The room was overflowing with plants. They were on tables, hanging from the ceiling, on the windowsills. Everywhere. I looked around in amazement before the deep raspy voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Well boy, are you going to introduce yourself or are you just going to sit there with your mouth open. I don’t need another fly trap, one is enough,” the old lady said and that is when I noticed a large white Persian sitting on the woman's lap. 

Birdie was old. Her wrinkly skin hung from her face like drapes on a theater stage and her hair was so gray, it was almost white. She was dressed in an oversized nightgown that covered the rest of her body, besides her hands, which each looked like a skeleton thinly wrapped in loose paper. 

“Sorry ma’am, my name is Luke Wilson, but you can call me Wil.”

“Don’t ma’am me you little shit. My name is Birdie, not ma’am.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled. This isn’t going to be a fun time, I can already tell. This old lady is grumpy. Chloe looked back and forth between us before finally deciding that it was her time to escape.

“Well Wil, I hope you have fun. Birdie, don’t be too hard on the kid,” she said before making quick work at getting the hell out of the room. Birdie just grunted in response before turning to me, looking me up and down.

“Eh, sit down will yah,” she said, pointing to an empty chair near one of the many tables that was covered in greenery. I went over and sat down, not saying anything. “What? Cat got your tongue?”

“Honestly, I am not really sure what to say.”

The old woman just laughed, before choking. After a moment of intense coughing, she was finally able to get herself together.

“God, my lungs are not what they used to be. All that smoking did nothing but kill me faster. So Wil, what’s your deal anyways? Why are you visiting some old hag on her deathbed?”

I was stunned for a second before responding, “I was forced to be here by my fraternity.”

“You? In a fraternity? Wow, times have changed. Back in my day they didn’t let the runts play in the pack.”

“What?” Was all I could respond, shocked by her blunt words.

“Don’t ‘what’ me,” she said before letting out another chain of coughs. “Then again if they knew then who I really was I guess I wouldn’t have made the cut either.”

“Wait what? You were in a fraternity?”

“XXN, class of 1972. I was also the quarterback of the football team.”

Now I was really confused and it must have shown on my face because Birdie started laughing again. I sat there in silence as she laughed, then coughed, then laughed again.

“I love seeing people’s faces when they learn that I was a man.”

“You’re a man?”

“Hey now, was a man! I am transgender you little shit.”

“Sorry,” I said quickly. I wasn’t trying to offend her, but this was my first experience with a trans person. I thought I was lost before, but now I really didn’t know what to say.

“Ah, calm your knickers. I am just having a little fun with yah. Life is too short to waste it on being offended anyhow.”

“I don’t really know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. We can sit here in silence just staring at each other for all I care.”

That is exactly what we did. Birdie and her cat went back to watching some random game show that was playing on the tv mounted to the wall and I sat in the chair, trying to make myself as small as possible. About an hour went by before Chloe came and got me. 

“Goodbye Birdie,” I said quietly.

“Goodbye you little shit. Come back sometime yuh hear. The company was nice.”

I just nodded before walking out the door.