Vivian

A week has passed since we arrived to this wretched town. Amel and I won’t be here for long now. Our job’s done and we plan to go home this evening. The Dorm Master has asked us to stop for some essentialities so we’re doing that, or rather I’m the one who’s doing all the work. Amel follows me around like a helpless puppy while I navigate the town.

I want to say something, but the right words won’t form and I’m afraid I might end up telling him hurtful words. So, I’ll just keep quiet and endure the silence until one of us breaks.

“Hmm?”  An apple. Another one rolls to my feet and my eyes ascertain the source to be a man’s torn grocery bag. “Excuse me!” I struggle to catch up with him, “Excuse me, sir! There’s a tear in your bag.”

The man’s not a stranger. “Mr. Trou!”

His brows raise upon seeing me, “Vivian dear, it’s you! And Amel too!”

Mr. Trou’s exclamation snaps Amel out of his rumination. “Oh, uncle Trou… What brings you here?”

“Grocery shopping and an errand!” His loudness catches the attention of the other shoppers.” Come, let’s go somewhere less crowded.”

“The apples!” I remind him.

“Oh yes, the apples.”  He gathers the fallen apples, shoves them into his coat pocket and leads us to a bench in a secluded area under a tree, away from all the shops and crowd.

“Ahh! This’ a nice spot.” He polishee the bench with a cloth and sits, “Pleasant weather, pleasant!”

Amel opens his mouth to say something but his uncle interrupts, “When are the two of you going back to your forms?”

I’m about to say today when he blabbers again, “As for me, I’m planning to visit Amel’s parents.” He twirls his moustache.

Without delay, Amel speaks, “We’ll be going home today… After gr-”

“Today! What a coincidence that we plan on leaving this town on the same day!” He bears Amel’s back and ruffles his hair, “How ‘bout the two of you come along with me?”

Amel and I give each other a look.

“There’s a magic mirror booth right there,” he points to one, “You can inform your Dorm Master. I’m sure the chap won’t mind, will he?”

We have no choice but to obey the man who cannot be dissuaded. Amel’s about to go to the booth but I stop him, “I’ll inform the Dorm Master.” I lower my voice, “You keep your uncle busy.”

He hesitates in his reply. “Okay.”

While Amel keeps his uncle preoccupied, I dial over the Dorm Master’s magic number and wait for him to answer. Ting. He’s accepted my summon. The mirror glass swirls and meshes, an image of the Dorm Master and his room materializes and his distinct hoarse voice can be heard.

“Hello, Mr. Maes? Vivian here.”

“Hello to you too, Vivian!” He rearranges some papers on his desk as he converses, “Care to tell me the reason of your summon?”

“Yes, sir. Amel and I were out shopping for the things you listed-”

“Go on,”  He thumbs through a bundle of documents, “Let’s see. One, two, three…”

“As we were shopping, we met Amel’s uncle.”

I clear my throat.

“Sorry, sorry.” He puts down the documents and straightens his posture. “Okay, you were out shopping, met Amel’s uncle. And?”

“Amel’s uncle plans to visit his parents and insists that we join him,” my eyes search for signs of approval or denial but his face is inscrutable, “What do you think about the proposal, sir?”

“Hmm,” He rubs his chin, “What do you think, Vivian?”

What do I think? Honestly, I want to go back to the dorm and reunite with Dalia and soon as possible but Amel probably needs some time with his family right now.

“I think we should agree to Mr. Trou’s suggestion,” Mr. Maes nods his head. I go on, “Amel’s not in a sound state as of now and I’m confident meeting his family would do him good.”

“If that is so, then I don’t mind. I grant the two of you my permission to stay with his family for two days.” He goes back to his business.

“Thank you, Mr. Maes.”  Our communication ends and I inform Amel and Mr. Trou about our Dorm Master’s approval.

**********

Amel

I’m a terrible person, aren’t I? Entertaining the thought of not saving a man when I have the chance to do so.

I wonder what Vivian would think of me if she knew I’d willingly not helped the person? What if she knows and now seems me in a different light? What if I’ve let her down?

What if my father finds out and realizes his son is not as earnest to help people as he thought? He’ll be disappointed, won’t he? I’m disappointed with myself. I’m not even half as zealous, nor as compassionate and I’ve failed to uphold the sanctity he holds for human life.

“Amel, you’re not sick, are you? Vivian interrupts my thoughts.

“No. Thanks for asking!”

A doubtful looks comes on her face but she doesn’t say anything.

We’re on our way to my family’s villa. A little boy comes running to me.

“Hey! Look who it is,” I open my arms wide, embrace him and lift him up, “Did you miss me, little guy?”

Little Finn nods and shifts his eye to Vivian. “Vivian’s here too, and Uncle Trou!” I let him down. He takes hold of my hand and Vivian’s, leading us inside the villa while singing a nursery rhyme I’m hearing for the first time. “Finn, where are you taking us? And where’s Emmie (my younger sister, aged 15), and Kaleb and Leala (twins, ages 12. Kaleb’s older by thirty three minutes).

“They’ve all gone to visit aunt Nora.”

I inquire Finn about the whereabouts of father and mother but all I get is a tuneless humming of a song I can’t recognize.

He leads us to the patio and stops.

Father puts down his book. “I’ve been waiting for the two of you.”

Vivian and I walk up the steps to the patio, give him a hug and sit on the couch chair adjoining father’s armchair. Finn makes himself comfortable on father’s lap.

I ask father about his health and he’s glad to inform us that there’s been a significant improvement since the last time I saw him. He looks more lively than our last exchange so it’s likely he’s not lying to make me feel better. The topics of our conversation shift between life at the dorm and life here back and forth while Finn stays quiet throughout the exchange, his eyes always changing focus to the speaker.

My mind can’t help but drift off to the incident with the B.bear and the man. What would my father think of me? Has he noticed my uneasiness? Will he prod me with questions until I cave in and tell him everything? Why am I even fighting in the first place when my efforts will be met with hatred from people like that man?

“Amel?”  Father calls out to me. Vivian and Finn are not here. I have a vague remembrance of Vivian going along with Finn on a walk.

“You’re unusually quiet today,” Father comments, “And you haven’t touched your tea yet.”

I know not how the tea ended up on the table All I remember is spacing out and my thoughts going haywire until my father called me back to the present.

“Dad, am I a disappointment?” The words slip off from my tongue. “Sorry, forget what I said.” I laugh it off and am unreadable expression comes across his face.

He puts his cup down and crosses his leg. “Do you think you are?”

“I-” Tears well up in my eyes. “I’m disappointed in myself. I’m not- Not as good as you.”

He stands up and starts walking. “When I was your age, I had the same fear as you. Disappointing my father.” From the stories he’s told me, I gather his father was a man of expectations. He goes on, “Everything I did would be met with ‘You can do better”’ and I tried and tried to live up to his version of me. I let go of my ambitions and sense of self. All so that one day he’d look at the person he molded me into, his version of me, and say ‘I’m proud of you’. But I couldn’t be what he wanted me to be. After all, I’m my own person. Was he disappointed? Yes. But if I had gone on being the person he wanted me to be, I wouldn’t have been happy. With time, he realized I need not achieve the same things as him. After all, our definitions of success are different.”

My father sits down on his armchair. “Amel, set your own unique definition of success. Your own reasons to do things.” He smiles at me.

“But disappointment’s not the only thing bothering you, is it?”

“Yes.” He saw right through me. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I understand.”

A silence follows and an urge to ask a question emerged. “Dad, have you ever been scared of half-breeds?”

“Scared of half-breeds. Hmm? It’s a shame but I should say so. Although, scared's not the exact word I’d use.” He stands up and starts walking again.

“I had a misguided opinion of them until one fine encounter which challenged my views and played a huge role in shaping me into what I am today.”

I don’t think I’ve heard the story he’s about to tell.

“When I was almost eight, My aunt, uncle and I went camping. Little did we know the area we’d selected got our small party harbored some Insaniacs which had not been eradicated. We’d set up our tent when two half-breeds, visibly injured, emerged from the woods and sought food and water from us. My uncle and aunt turned them away, hurling insults at them. As they went off, even I shouted hurtful words and eyed them with contempt. To our annoyance, the half-breeds settled only a little distance away from us.”

My mind can’t help but think about that man who hurled insults at Vivian and me as father narrates his story.

“Night arrived and we’d fallen asleep. It was during dawn we heard some noise which awoke us. My uncle went out to inspect while aunt and I remained inside our tent and observed. An Insaniac Bestial wolf appeared from the woods and attacked my uncle. My aunt and I yelled for our uncle who urged us to arm ourselves with his Mana-sword. As we watched the B.wolf tear down my uncle’s leg, we heard a low growl circling our tent.”

Father looks off into a distance, as if playing out the whole scene in front of his eyes.

“The B.wolf scratched our tent with its paws, creating a huge tear! We ran out and saw two more B.wolves. The beasts had surrounded us. My uncle moaned in agony, my aunt and I embraced each other. We would’ve died that day. If not…”

He turns to me and gives me a solemn look

“If not for the two half-breeds we’d turned down spitefully. One by one, they killed the beasts and even treated my uncle’s wounds. My uncle reluctantly accepted their help. It was then that I realized how wrong I had been.”

I-

“Amel?” 

If those half-breeds had turned a blind eye and refused to help them, my father wouldn’t be alive today would he? I won’t be here today, would I? Despite all the hate they faced, they still saved my father. If those half-breeds had allowed hatred to grow, like I did, then I wouldn’t be here- I won’t-

“I’m an idiot, dad!”

“It’s okay. You’re not an idiot.”

Ugh. Tears are streaming down my face now.

“I am! Thank you, dad. For everything.”

I’ve decided. I’ll fight, even if my struggles are met with contempt, I’ll continue to fight. Even if there are people I’ve that man who despise us, there are people like my father who deserve to live. If there are the kind worth killing, then there are the kind worth saving. So I’ll fight, not for the people who spread hate but for those like my father.

**********