“Um, I can go if you–”

“No,” Rein held a hand up, “you can stay.” Unsure of what to do, Percy just nodded and shut the door behind him.

“You feeling ok?” he nodded to the area Rein was nursing earlier.

“Yeah, a lot better thanks. Quellena’s really good at what she does,” the two shared a knowing smile before Rein nodded at the cigarette in Percy’s mouth, “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“Ah,” Percy jumped, remembering he still had it and resumed the search for matches, “Yeah, I don’t do it often, but sometimes when I just need to calm down I have one or two.” 

A soft orange glow entered Percy’s peripheral, and he looked up to find a small flame emanating from Rein’s finger. He leaned in ever so slightly, the tip of the cigarette burning in Rein’s flame. Percy pulled away and took a deep breath before removing it from his lips.

“Thanks,” a swath of white smoke slipped out as he spoke. 

“Was the bison handling that bad?” Rein frowned and crossed his arms.

“What? Oh, no that was fine. Poppy’s still got it!” Percy laughed and jokingly flexed his bicep.

“Then what’s the smoke for?” His voice was gentle, and Percy melted a little. He brought the cigarette to his lips again, taking another deep inhale before responding.

“Would you believe me if I said pre-wedding jitters?” Rein scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“No,” he leaned an arm against the rail, “Not really.” Percy laughed gently and side eyed him.

“We slew seven bison together, and you won’t believe me when I say the wedding makes me nervous?” Percy raised an eyebrow.

“Well,” Rein sighed, “I guess I just don’t understand why the wedding would make you nervous.”

“It doesn’t,” Percy stated honestly. He took one last hit before he snuffed the rest out on the leather of his glove. “I’m just thinking about some old stuff.” Rein did a double take at that. 

“I see…like apocalypse stuff?” he asked.

“Something like that,” Percy smiled, “So Poppy was telling me about this exchange program with the isles you’re doing?”

“Oh,” Rein rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, it’s something we’re trying out with the academy students and some druids on the isles. Sort of a way to learn about each other’s cultures without overwhelming everybody.”

“That sounds amazing,” Percy turned to face Rein directly, “How did you even get that started?”

“I mean, we had interested students from both ends, especially in the upper elven court. It took a lot of work, but we have plans to have the first session next spring.” Percy nodded absently.

“Y’know, if you have any use for another translator or maybe you wanna start something with like, I dunno, non magical people I’d be really interested,” Percy smiled. Rein cocked his head, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh well, this was originally something from the Academy, I’m not sure if extension outside of that is something we considered. Plus we’ve practically got the thing rolling,” Rein awkwardly stumbled through his words as Percy continued to listen. 

“Not that I don’t appreciate the offer or anything, I just think, y’know, I have my thing and you have yours,” Rein shrugged, “I mean, I don’t know, we wouldn’t oppose the extra help, but I just don’t think we’re looking for people like you.”

Percy stared at him, subtly floored by the statement. Slowly, a dark smile crossed his face and Percy buried his head in his hands.

“You can’t be fucking serious,” Percy guffawed into his own hands, “Not looking for people like me.”

“Percy?” Rein reached a hand out only for Percy to back away from the touch. He laughed hollowly.

“I was never going to be good enough for you,” He shook his head.

“What? Why are you upset?”

“It's cause I'm not good enough for you!” Percy smacked a hand to his forehead, a pained smile stretching across his cheeks.

“What?” Rein’s face contorted in confusion. 

“Of course, you dumped me once you came to your senses after all…” realization dawned on Rein’s face as Percy’s true feelings came to light. 

“We agreed to break up,” Rein groaned. Percy could only shake his head, moving to grip the iron railing for support. 

“No, you wanted to break up, and I couldn't say no,” He squeezed his eyes shut. Rein floundered. 

“I mean we were like 14, we were super young and also super impressionable–” 

“But that wasn't all!” Percy’s knuckles turned white as he tried to keep his temper down. 

“What are you saying?” Rein scoffed. Eyes full of pain, Percy shot his gaze into Rein’s.

“You were ashamed of me.” 

Rein shook his head and turned away. 

“I was never ashamed–”

“Yes you were!” Percy smacked his fist on the rail, “I stood out like a sore thumb, I didn't fit into your Silvermore lifestyle! And the second you realized the country bumpkin I was, you chalked it up to crazy adrenaline and abandoned me!”

“Abandon YOU!?” Rein turned sharply, cloak flying behind him, “I'm not the one who slept around with the first person in town who threw themselves at me!”

“What the fuck?” Percy gaped at the accusation, “I never touched let alone saw anyone in the same way when we were together!” Rein paused, cowering back ever so slightly as he crossed his arms over his torso.

“No, not during our relationship,” He shook his head and looked down, “Afterwards…” 

“What?” Percy’s blood boiled, “How the fuck would you know that?” 

“…” Rein couldn’t look up, his hands gripping his cloak closer to himself. Percy searched his face for an answer before he found the solution.

“Did you use that fucking scrying spell on me? You watched me!?” He cowered back in horror. 

“I know it was wrong-- “ Rein began.

“What, is that why you stopped writing to me all those years ago? Cause I was free to have relationships with others?“

“THAT WAS THE WHOLE PROBLEM!” Rein screamed, his hands gripped his scalp in frustration, “You're so fickle, you're so detached, you just go and do whatever you want! You don't have any sense of responsibility or duty, you just do whatever you want regardless of what others think or feel!” Silence filled the air. Percy stared back at Rein, mouth agape and eyes twisted into despair. 

“I–” Rein faltered.

“I would have done anything,” Percy laughed weakly, “BECOME anything, to prove to you I was worthy to be by your side.” 

He turned and took a step towards Rein, “I have my flaws, but being detached is not one of them.” 

“You know I kept your letters this whole time? I actually keep them on me, Y'know?” Percy gripped his cloak, the sound of paper crinkling under the force, “Right here, left side, little pocket. I have paid so much just to keep these letters in pristine condition. You can't even fathom how many times I have read these fucking letters, Rein. I sent you letters for years with no reply. You think that's detached? Is that too detached for you, Rein?” Despair tore through Percy’s heart as he encroached on Rein’s space. 

“Percy–” Rein’s face twisted, his eyes watering.

“What, did you know I wouldn't ever meet your standard? Did you think it would be funny to watch me be the fickle slut you think I am?”The words hissed between Percy’s teeth.

“I–” Rein turned his back to him, rage seething from Percy.

“What's the matter, Gaia, this conversation ain't going the way you divined it to be? Come on, I know you've got some fucking juice in ya! Fight back!” Percy lunged out and seized Rein’s wrist under his worn fingers, squeezing tight,”I'm the pathetic sack of shit that abandons you, don't you have more reasons why you dumped my worthless ass!?”

“Percy,” Rein sobbed as he finally looked back at him with a wet face, “Please, stop.” Percy’s heart dropped and shattered. Loosening his grip, he let Rein’s hand fall away from his fingers. 

“I've made you cry. God damn it, I made you cry,” Percy stepped back and leaned over the rail, “Fucking hell.” Muted sniffles and sobs echoed and died in the tepid air of Quility. Guilt crawled its way into Percy’s throat and choked him. His whole body shook, teeth grinding against each other. After a slow and methodical breath in, Percy finally spoke. 

“Alright listen, we're here for Poppy and Brianna. Tomorrow is about them. So we're gonna get in there tomorrow and we're gonna make it the best day of their lives.” Percy straightened his back and turned to look at Rein.

“W–” Rein looked back.. 

“I'm not done,” Percy raised a hand in surrender, “When the event is over, I won't ever approach you again. No letters, no events, nothing. I won't cause you anymore pain, so I'll say this now.” With an unnatural swoosh, Percy got down on one knee and bowed his head in reverence. 

“High Wizard Gaia, it was a joy and an honor to have fought by your side all those years ago,” voice cracking in the false bravado, Percy momentarily paused before he continued, “I have no doubt your talent and bravery will take you further than no man has gone. Please, forgive and forget any grievances I have caused you tonight, yesterday, and any time beyond that. Tomorrow night, at the end of the celebration, consider me a stranger. I'll take steps to do the same for you”

“Wait–” Rein reached out, but Percy nimbly stepped back and flashed him a desperate smile.

“Rein, I'm begging you,” He sniffled, “I can't keep dreaming about the impossible. I’m tired of missing someone who doesn't think I’m a person worth investing in. I need to forget you and move on.” Rein’s eyes widened by a fraction.

“You–” 

“Great, it's settled,” Percy nodded with a thin smile, “Consider this moment the beginning of the end. Goodnight, Rein.”

Before Rein could say anything, Percy turned and entered the tavern. The smoke and ashes lingering behind with a love he lost lifetimes ago.