(TW//: Transphobia, Misgendering)
Christmas day passed in a blur as I clung to Thomas the entire time, wanting to avoid my family. The biggest issue I felt was simply the uncertainty of what had happened between Thomas and me. We flew back to California two days after Christmas, Thomas' flight being moved by his parents thankfully, and we celebrated both of our birthdays, mine on December 28th and his on December 30th packing Thomas’ things and moving them to my own apartment. Ichika was disappointed to see Thomas go, but his parents agreed to keep paying for the apartment until she graduated, something that had surprised me until Thomas explained that Ichika was the younger sister of Kennedy's girlfriend Tomiko.
Thomas surprised me on New Year's Eve by taking me to San Francisco to watch the fireworks from a lovely restaurant. We shared a gentle kiss, no words shared as the fireworks exploded behind us.
It was now the second week of March and we were planning to leave California in a week. I had never started my cycle for the last two months, prompting me to head to the hospital finally for the test. I had put it off, nerves stifling me, but I had been given no choice when March 1st came around and I was still late. I waited another week until I simply couldn’t wait anymore.
"Sparrow!" Thomas yelled, walking into the apartment.
Oh for fucks sake.
He's so loud.
"No," I called back from my spot in the bathroom.
"I'm back though and I missed you," he knocked softly on the door, "can I come in?"
"I'm pooping."
"Really?"
"No. I'm close to having a panic attack."
“Let me in, please,” he knocked softly.
With a groan, I slowly went over and opened the door before sitting back on the counter, staring at my phone. Thomas gently pushed my legs apart and stood between my thighs, his hands on my hips.
“What’s going on?” he whispered, trying to catch my attention.
“I went to the hospital today… I’m just waiting to hear the results,” I whispered, my gaze never leaving my empty phone screen.
“It’ll be okay,” he whispered, “it’ll all be okay. We agreed didn’t we?”
“No matter the outcome…”
“We have each other."
"Mhm," nodding, I kept my gaze on my phone, my hands shaking.
"Alright. We're not going to sit here and wait to hear from the hospital," Thomas snatched my phone from my hand, tossing it onto the counter.
"Hey!" I shouted before letting out a startled yelp when he suddenly picked me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, "I fucking hate this."
"You love when I carry you. You made me on New Year's," he laughed, laying me on the bed, "hi," he whispered, studying my face, "I missed you."
"Gross."
"Sparrow," rolling his eyes, Thomas slid his hand under my shirt, gently teasing my side, "I missed you."
"Stop it with the mushy crap," I huffed softly.
"You're in a mood. Jesus. You didn't miss me today?"
"We were only apart for 5 hours and frankly I'm pissed at you for leaving because it meant I had to take the bus to the hospital. Where were you, Tommy?"
"Oh," he sighed softly, "you're upset with me for not going with you, aren't you?"
"Yes," I whispered, "I needed you, and… you weren't there. I was scared."
"I was turning in my intent to drop out of college. I'm not going back. I grabbed a packet for you too."
"Why did it take so long?"
"Well. That whole thing took two hours. Then I got hungry. Then, I had to go to the bank. After that," he softly kissed my jaw and I fought down a whimper, "I got you a gift."
"Tommy you have to stop buying me presents."
"It's nothing big. Go look in the kitchen."
Pushing him off of me, I ran into the kitchen and found a small vase of sunflowers with a single white rose in the middle. A card rested against it and when I opened it, I smiled, a tear rolling down my cheek as I quietly read it aloud.
"There is nothing more amazing than a person who has had their heart broken but still believes in love," I touched the words softly, tracing Thomas' signature slowly as I smiled.
"Do you like them?" Thomas whispered, wrapping his arms around my waist from behind, his chin on my shoulder.
"N… nope."
"Really?" He softly kissed the side of my neck, "your pulse and the tears on your cheeks tell me otherwise. You promised me you'd be honest when it's just us. So. Do you like it?"
"Mhm," I nodded, "very much. Thank you."
"You're very welcome," he laughed, a deep rumbling sound from in his chest that always shook me.
"Why the hell is your voice so deep?"
"I don't know. You love it though so shut up."
"I'm slowly turning you into me," I giggled, still tracing the words on the card, "You're much more of an ass these days."
"And you're sweeter."
My phone went off in the bathroom, signaling that I had an email and we both froze, turning to look at the bedroom. Thomas let me go and raced off to the restroom and I chased after, trying to get there before him but failing.
"What's your pin?" He held my phone up to me.
"No. Not until you tell me yours," I huffed, crossing my arms across my chest.
"Aero."
"Tommy," I glared at him.
"No," he smiled, "my password is Aero. 2376. It spells out your name."
"Oh…" my cheeks grew warm and I cleared my throat, "That's so sweet. Uh…" coughing softly to hide my embarrassment, I turned my gaze to the floor, "1230."
"What a random… oh," he gasped, "oh Aero… my birthday?"
"December 30th. 1230. Yes,” I whispered.
“You’re so sweet,” he laughed and pressed a light kiss to my cheek, “are you ready to see the results?”
“Not really.”
“Then we won’t yet,” he set my phone on the counter and pulled me close, wrapping his arms around my waist, “we can wait.”
“Okay. I’m hungry.”
“Do you want to order something or would you like to go to dinner?”
“Can we go out?”
“You hate being in public,” he pushed a loose piece of hair behind my ear and gently traced my jaw with his thumb, “are you sure?”
“Mhm.”
“Okay,” Thomas softly kissed my nose, making me giggle, “get ready then.”
We got ready together, Thomas ripping through boxes of his clothes before finding an outfit and once I had my binder on, I grabbed one of my favorite shirts, buttoning it slowly before tucking it into my pants and grabbing my boots. Thomas climbed up on the bed behind me and began to braid my hair, rubbing the shaved sides with his fingers from time to time.
“You’re due for a haircut,” he kissed the nape of my neck.
“So are you.”
“I haven’t cut my hair in three years and I don’t plan to start now.”
“It’s getting out of control,” I laughed, grabbing my wallet and keys, my phone laying forgotten on the bathroom counter, “you should probably get a trim at least.”
“Gross. No,” he grabbed his own things before taking my hand gently, “I want it long.”
“Fine,” shrugging, I grabbed my scarf from near the front door and stared at it for a moment before putting it on Thomas.
“I hate wearing black,” he huffed softly.
“And I hate wearing white but,” grabbing his matching scarf from the hook, I quickly put it on, “there. We look cute. Okay, let’s go.”
Thomas snorted, a blinding smile on his face as he laced his fingers with mine and let me pull him from the apartment.
We walked the few minutes to Thai Basil and took a seat, Thomas heading over to their automated screens to order what we always got. Thomas loved their cashew tofu, and I always chose the sweet and sour tofu. We regularly shared, splitting it between the two of us, and I hated to admit that I liked what he ordered better than what I normally did.
“Hi,” Thomas kissed the top of my head before taking the seat across from me, “why are we here again? We were just here two days ago.”
“I don’t know,” shrugging, I took a sip of water before pulling the piece of lemon out and setting it on a napkin, “gross. Anyway, I had a craving for their sweet and sour sauce.”
“Wait… lemons are gross?” he looked at me confused.
“Yeah?”
“Aero, I’ve seen you literally eat lemons. You love bitter food.”
“I’m just not in the mood for a lemon, stop it.”
“Fine,” he sighed, “I’m just worried.”
“It’s just me being picky. I do it a lot.”
“I am well aware,” he snorted.
“I hate you.”
“I know.”
We ate our dinner in peace, barely talking but enjoying each other's company. This was a normal routine for us. Thomas and I rarely talked, we simply did things together without needing to speak, inherently knowing what the other wanted or needed without words. It was peaceful, entirely different than the time that I had spent with Casey, and it helped me learn to trust Thomas slowly as the weeks passed. He had been incredibly vital to clearing out my own apartment, everything packed except for my blankets and sheets. We were living out of suitcases and boxes for the next week, something that annoyed both of us, but we knew how important it was.
“Oh!” Thomas smiled, “I talked to your dad.”
“Why?” I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Because I wanted to make a plan. So, we’re taking everything but a few days' worth of clothes to Idaho then… we’re going to Indiana.”
“Oh no,” I whispered, “I’m not ready.”
“You promised, Sparrow,” he carefully took my hand, tracing my palm with his fingertips, “I need you to come with me.”
“I know,” sighing, I gently squeezed his hand, “I’m just scared.”
“My family is lovely. I promise they’ll like you.”
“I… believe you,” whispering, I took a few more bites of food, “are you done?”
“Mhm.”
We gathered up the plates nicely on the side of the table and left a tip before leaving the restaurant together, Thomas holding my hand as always. As much as I hated physical contact usually, I craved Thomas’ touch, always seeking him out.
“Sparrow?” a familiar voice called and I froze, Thomas pulling me into his side to keep us walking home, “hey stop come back!”
“Go away, Casey,” I whispered, “go away.”
“Sparrow!” Casey grabbed my shoulder and Thomas pushed his arm away, quickly stepping between Casey and me, “oh. It’s you.”
“Sparrow asked you to go away and I have to agree. Stay away from us,” Thomas glared at Casey.
“Man, I don’t want anything from you. I just want to talk to Sparrow.”
“I have nothing to say to you, Casey. We ended things fine. I won’t forgive you, nor do I like you. So leave me alone. We’re leaving soon anyway. No reason to interact with you,” I sighed.
“My mom called to tell me that you brought,” Casey gestured to Thomas, “home. She saw you. Our backyards matched up after all. She was so curious as to where I was. Why you were cheating on me.”
“I cheated? I cheated on you? We hadn’t been together in five fucking months when Tommy came home with me. Besides, we aren’t together. Yet.”
“You’re my girlfriend!” Casey shouted at me and Thomas suddenly shoved him in the chest, knocking Casey back a few steps.
“Sparrow is a man. Stop misgendering him. I am so fucking tired of hearing people say that about him. He is legally a man,” Thomas growled, “he was born a man. He is a man. So fucking stop it.”
“No! Sparrow can say whatever she wants, but Sparrow is a woman. She has boobs!”
“So?” I whispered, “So what? Yeah, I have breasts. I have a vagina. But my body parts don’t make me any less of a guy. I will have these,” I patted my chest softly, “removed as soon as I can. I’m having my uterus taken out at some point. I am a man, Casey and you’re a transphobic, homophobic piece of shit. Now, I’m going to take Tommy home so we can spend the rest of the night together without having to think about you. You stupid motherfucker.”
Casey’s expression shifted from anger to confusion as he stared at me, unsure how to process what I was saying before he snorted, “Whatever. You got fat by the way.”
“Cool,” shrugging, I wrapped an arm around Thomas’ shoulders, “I’m happy these days. We eat snacks a lot, spend time together. It’s not that surprising. Sunbeam?” I kissed Thomas on the cheek, my gaze fully focused on Casey.
“Yeah, Starlight?” Thomas laughed, turning his head to kiss my cheek as well.
“Wanna go home and find out the results?”
“Absolutely.”
“Wait results of what?” Casey shouted as we turned to walk away from him.
“I don’t see how that’s any of your business. Forget about me. Remember what you always said? You can do better than me? Good luck with that,” I waved and stuck my tongue out before I let Thomas pull me along, his arm tightly around my waist.
We ran into the apartment as soon as we were there and I sat on the ground, my back against the door as I started to cry. I hadn’t seen Casey in months and suddenly running into him on an incredibly rough day for me was more than I could handle.
Thomas ran further into the apartment and grabbed my favorite blanket along with the Eeyore he had gotten me for Christmas, setting both in my lap, “it’s okay,” he whispered, pressing his lips to my forehead, “I’ve got you.”
“I know,” I hiccuped, “thank you, Tommy.”
“Anything for you.”
Thomas joined me on the floor, wrapping the blanket around both of us and I laid my head on his shoulder, my right hand finding his left under the blanket and I laced our fingers together, squeezing gently. He kept whispering calming phrases, kissing the top of my head and I relaxed further into him, my eyes closing as the stress from the day had overwhelmed me and I slowly fell asleep.
“Hm?” I muttered, confused by the warmth around me, “What?”
Opening my eyes, I looked around to find that I was in bed, the blankets tightly wrapped around me and Thomas was next to me, his arm around my waist, one of his legs tucked between mine as he snored softly, the apartment dark.
He’s so fucking attractive.
I… adore you, Tommy.
Smiling, I started to roll to face him when I was suddenly overwhelmed by a wave of nausea and shoved him off of me, shooting out of bed and running into the bathroom.
Ah fuck.
Groaning, I continued to vomit, tears forming in my eyes as I gripped the toilet.
“Sparrow?” Thomas yawned, walking into the bathroom before gasping and rushing over, “Oh sweetie…”
“Shut up,” I gagged, “get out of here.”
“No,” he wet a washcloth and gently pressed it to my forehead.
“You don’t care?”
“I don’t care,” he whispered, “it’s okay.”
I could feel the bile rise in my throat again and I started to cry as my stomach clenched, unable to vomit.
“I can’t… anymore,” I panted, my eyes closed as Thomas cleaned my face slowly.
“Okay,” he kissed my shoulder, “let’s brush your teeth and get you back to bed.”
Thomas helped me from the floor and I slowly brushed my teeth, leaning into him, my legs feeling weak. Once I felt done, he guided me back to bed and I laid flat on my back, my eyes squeezed shut. Thomas climbed onto the bed, gently laying his arm over my chest so that he wouldn’t upset my stomach, and softly started rubbing my arm.
“What time is it?” I whispered.
“About 5,” he yawned.
“Where’s my phone?”
“On your nightstand. You didn’t get any messages or anything. Just the email from the doctor.”
“Should… are we ready to see?”
“I’m simply waiting on you,” he nuzzled my cheek.
“Um… okay,” grabbing my phone, I slowly opened the email before closing my eyes and poking Thomas, “You read it to me.”
Thomas grabbed his glasses and slowly started to read the email, “Sparrow Hartley, we are excited to inform you that you are… pregnant. Congratulations.”
“Well… shit.”
Comments (1)
See all