Last night, I couldn't sleep a wink after the weird dream that I had. I pulled myself out of the couch, feeling groggy and exhausted, and reluctantly started to get ready for work. I took a quick shower, put on my casual clothes, grabbed my car keys, and headed out the door. As I drove to work, I tried to shake the feeling the dream had left me with, but it lingered like a heavy fog.

~

I walked inside the hospital, greeting whoever I'm familiar with, and then headed to Myung's room after I left my bag and stuff in the office.

Today is the visiting day for the patient's relatives, so I guess Myung's parents will come to the hospital. I would like to observe Myung's actions while they're with him. 

As I reached the PICU, I saw his parents along with another young boy, almost the same height as Myung, with light brown hair and pale skin. 

I said hi to his parents and asked, "Why are you waiting here instead of getting inside?"

Myung's mother said, "We wanted to ask you to do a favour... Doctor Seo." 

+"Sure! What is it?"

-"As you can see, this boy here is Myung's friend, and he really wants to see him. Do you think it's possible for him to visit?"

I glanced at him, and he reached out his hand for a shake. "Hi, I'm Yoon Taemin."

 I smiled and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Yoon." I then pulled back my hand and said, "Actually, Myung is banned from seeing anyone other than his parents since we don't know how he will react to it ~..."

He replied, "Dr. Seo. To tell you the truth, I haven't been in contact with him for nearly 2 years due to some unfortunate reason. When I heard what had happened to him after I called his home last week, I couldn't hold back from not coming!... I can guarantee I won't bother him! Just a minute is enough!... "

I said firmly, "I'm sorry. I'm afraid I can't allow this."

Myung's father grabbed my hand and said in a pleading voice, "Shall we ask my son about this and let him decide on his own? Maybe this young pal can help him feel better!..."

The three of them were staring at me with such pitiful expressions that I couldn't ignore, and I said after a sigh, "Okay. Let me go in and ask him if he wants to meet him or not."

~

I entered Myung's room as he was still lying on his bed. "Good morning~..."

He turned toward me and said, "Um."

I stepped near his bed and sat on the edge of the bed. "Can I ask you something?"

He asked with his calm, expressionless face, "What?"

-"Do you know someone named Taemin?"

He sat straight up, puzzled, "Taemin?"

I nodded, "Yep. Would you like to see him?"

"Is he here?! But he can't be! How?!" Myung wondered.

I replied, "I don't know the details, but he's here since he wants to visit you."

He grasped my forearm and said, anticipating, "Can I really see him?!"

-"If you want, of course you can. It's your choice~..."

 His eyes were filled with sadness at what I said. After hesitating for a few seconds, his grip on my hand became tighter, and he said, "I wanna see him."

+"Alright. But I'll be here just in case." 

-"Okay~..."

~

I let Taemin into Myung's room and then leaned my back against the wall beside the door as Taemin stepped closer to Myung, standing near the window, waiting to see his friend. 

 Taemin pulled him into a hug. "What happened to you, Myungiee?! I shouldn't have left you alone with that bastard!" He said in a sad tone.

"Bastard, he said?!... How much does this guy know? I should ask him later. " I thought.

 Myung's small figure was hidden in his embrace, and all I could see were his hands clasping the back of Taemin's shirt. "Tae~~Min~~..." Myung 's voice was muffled into his arms. 

 Taemin looked down at Myung, his expression unreadable. He slowly reached up a hand and brushed Myung's hair away from his face, "How did you~... end up~... here?~... What has he done to you?!~..." 

"I~... It's my own~... fault~..." Myung muttered. 

As I noticed Myung trembling anxiously, I interfered, "Ehm~... Mr. Yoon."

 When he turned around to look at me, I shook my head in order to give him a sign to avoid these kinds of conversations. He glanced at Myung as he has returned to his own world of thoughts again. Then Taemin grinned forcefully and said, "It's alright~. You'll be fine~... And I have some good news for you~..."

Myung lifted his head up and stared at him, "What?"

Taemin said, "Your coaching efforts have finally paid off. I'm getting married~~..."

"No way." Myung replied.

Taemin pulled his wedding card out of his coat and gave it to Myung, "Hehe~... You should be proud of me~... I've used all the things you taught me~..."

Myung stared at the wedding card in his hands, tears fell one by one, "I am~ I'm truly happy for you~..."

Taemin wrapped his arms around him one more time as he also was crying in response and said, "I wish you could come, my friend~"

But there was no response from Myung...

~

After a few minutes passed, I asked Taemin to wait for me in my office before leaving the room, and then I walked close to Myung, reaching my hand to him. "I'll keep the card for you."

He shoved the card into my chest, annoyed and slumped down in the armchair, closing his eyes. 

"I'll be back in an hour," I informed him.

-"Whatever..."

I sighed and left the room...

He was in a foul mood again...

~

I stepped out of the PICU and headed to my office. I opened the door and saw Taemin sitting there with an angry expression on his face. 

I said, "I'm sorry for keeping you longer, but I wanted to ask you a few questions about him that might help me do better through his therapy process."

-"No worries, Dr. Seo. I'll do anything to help him!"

+"Thank you. How long have you been friends?"

-"Since college."

+"May I ask why you weren't in contact with him for so long?"

-"It's a bit complicated~ I was forced to stay away from him."

+"Why?"

-"Myung had a friend, or frankly saying 'his boyfriend'. That jerk beat me to death twice and threatened me not to contact Myung. He even used his connections at my workplace to send me to a foreign branch... So I had no choice~... But if I had known Myung would end up here, I wouldn't have left him alone with that bastard~..."

I got chills all over my body and asked, "This friend you're talking about is Kim Haru, right?"

He flinched in shock. "How do you know him? Has he been here?!"

+"I saw him once. I can guess now how everything turned out like this."

-"He's the one who needs to be here, not Myung~"

As we discussed what Taemin knew about Myung's situation, as well as his relationship with Kim Haru, I've gotten a clearer idea of what led him to the edge of insanity.

 I was seriously furious thinking about how much he had to endure in his life until now. This is getting more complicated as I keep digging more into it...

A doubt emptied my heart...

Can I really help him?...

Will he be able to heal?...

Just how deep is the dark void in his heart?...

~

I came back to his room after talking to Taemin and some other patients...

He was still in that armchair, hugging his knees while resting his head on them. "You're late again..." He said as he stayed still in that position.

+"I've got some work to do, unfortunately."

I stood above him and reached my hand to nuzzle his hair, but he yanked my hand away, lifting his head up and glaring at me silently.

 I was taken aback by his reaction, honestly. "Why are you upset? Didn't talking to your friend make you happy?"

-"I don't know."

-"Myung, both of us know there's something wrong now, but you deny it. Ignoring what you feel isn't the correct answer."

He got up from his seat and shoved me away. "Leave me alone."

I grabbed his arm, not to let him avoid me again. "Answer my question."

Myung tried to pull his arm out, but he couldn't. "Let me go!"

For some unexplainable reasons, I was pissed off at him keep escaping from me. I then dragged him and pushed him against the wall. "Answer me. Then I'll let you go."

Myung's eyes flickered on my face as he struggled to get out of my grip. "What's wrong with you suddenly? I told you, I DON'T KNOW!"

"Are you going to be like this forever?! Hm?! How much longer would you like to escape reality? Do you like being here?..." I asked as I tightened my grasp on his arms unknowingly.

-"Who are you to judge me?! You know nothing!"

+"That's why I'm telling you to talk to me... enlighten me."

-"Why would I try to explain myself when no one cares?" 

+"I do care!..."

-"You just care because it's your job. Someone like you can't understand how I'm feeling~ No one can~..."

Myung gritted his teeth and then continued in an angry tone as I remained silent, "Everyone is living their life to the fullest... They've all got what they want... Having their jobs... Lovers... Marriage... Kids... As if I'm the only one who's stuck in the same place for years... Having problems more and more... Doing my best to overcome them but failing again and again... Why?... Why is life so cruel towards only me?!... Huh?..."

I stared at him painfully while he was finally sharing his thoughts with me.

 My chest was continually banged by his fists as he yelled, "You can't understand how it feels when you try to trust and rely on someone you love but they would betray your trust over and over~... Or how does it feel when you're not enough for them!~... When you're not their priority!...

I lost my love~... I lost my friends~... I ended up losing everything I had~... There are so many people around hating me for no reason~... I've suffered my whole life, Seo Dantae!!!... I'M IN PAIN!!!..."

I ran my hands behind his head and waist, pulling him into my arms as I was overwhelmed by his heavy words, which made me feel pain in my bones. 

 He shivered in my embrace, wailing loudly. His tears soaked into my chest, and my heart ached from hearing him cry sorrowfully. I held him tight, wishing my embrace could take away all his pain. 

 We stayed still for about more than an hour until his crying subsided. His body became relaxed and heavy eventually as he drifted off to sleep caused by lack of energy from all that bawling.

 I lifted Myung up and carried him to his bed, laying him on it. As I tried to pull back and stand straight, I was held close to him by his tight grasp on my gown's collar.  

 His eyes were closed and deep in sleep, but he wouldn't let me release my collar from his clench. As I glanced at his frowned eyebrows, pouted lips, and red eyelids, I unknowingly grinned bitterly. 

 I gently removed his hand from my collar and tucked him in. Then I dragged the armchair beside his bed and sat since I wanted to be by his side until he'd wake up. I looked at Myung intently, watching him with mixed feelings and thinking we were finally getting somewhere as days passed by.

 Glancing again at his lips reminded me of my last night's dream, and I flinched in my seat, embarrassed by my own thoughts. I could feel that my cheeks blushed since they began to warm. 

 A thunderbolt sound echoed through the room, distracting me from my thoughts and also jolting Myung from his slumber. 

 He opened his eyes in fear, and our eyes were locked on each other. 

 I averted my gaze as my heart skipped a bit looking at him and said, "It's raining outside..." 

Myung got out of bed and approached the window. "Can we go to the backyard?"

I looked at him, wondering, "Right now?"

He glanced back at me, "Yeah. Will you take me?"

.

.

.