82 Days till Autumn

Day 15 At Sea

More days have passed, and I feel nothing has changed. Just another day at sea. Relentless and monotonous. Soft waves crash against the sides of the boat in a repeated fashion, lulling us into a false sense of security. The water is midnight black, and trying to peer into its depths is impossible. Just the reflection of the full moon on its rippling surface is the only thing that can be seen. 

It's pretty eerie, if not scary…

When I think about it, I realize we, as humans, will never truly know what sorts of things hide just beneath the calm exteriors of the ocean surface. We sail blissfully over her waters, unaware of the dangers that lurk in the depths. And then, even a darker thought looms over me. 

What about the things that lie in wait, ready to eat us? Sea creatures, things the size of the boat itself. 

I’m instantly reminded of Rose’s tall tale about creatures called Sirens, who sing sweet songs and drown grown men and feast on their flesh. Rose’s grandfather is said to have witnessed everything, and if he wasn’t some crazy old fool or drunk… 

They couldn’t really exist, could they?

Shivers run down my spine at the thought of such things being real, despite knowing they are stories meant to scare children or make drunken men ponder for a moment about what calls the ocean home. I mean, my imagination is running wild. I’m pretty drunk myself right now. 

But if they existed, they could pose to be a deadly threat since all around us there is water. What will I do if such a situation arises? Accept a watery grave? 

It’s stupid to even imagine them, a being with the upper half as a human and lower half, a fish. I wave a hand in front of my face to dispel this foolish notion. Bahh. It sounds silly, if not preposterous. 

I’m sure some drunk came up with it, perhaps after eyeing a beautiful woman, then a fish, and somehow letting his mind wander to dirtier and more unruly thoughts. Though I wonder…a man…how will he look as half fish.

I start laughing, gripping my stomach and leaning against the railing. The old man definitely had a vivid imagination…Rose’s grandfather…I give him that. But where did he come up with the idea of these things eating human flesh for dinner and then having supernatural strength, enough to tear a human body to shreds, where it ended up looking like chum?

Can it be true? My laughter dies down, and I turn my head on hearing the crew’s boisterous singing and dancing in the distance. They are partying and hollering drunkenly as usual, loud enough to beckon these Sirens, if they are somewhere close to our boat. But I don’t blame my men. Parties are the only things that keep us occupied and away from thoughts such as mine. 

I can pick out a couple of the voices distinctly. Camber and the other one is Eagan. It sounds like they are becoming good friends despite their yelling at each other. I’m sure it is something dumb they are arguing about. As usual. 

I mute out their drunken fight. In the beginning days of this voyage, it was amusing and entertaining, but now I’m sick of hearing the same things every day, every second. The same old shit. They never change their lines, whatever be the topic. 

I’m also secretly sick of being around men, and the few women on the ship, Rose and the plump girl whose name I’ve yet to catch, have already called it a night. 

My vision begins to blur slightly. I shouldn’t have drunk so much with them either. That is pretty stupid of me. I should have a clear mind as their captain, but I can’t honestly say I do, with or without these drinks. 

But what’s more embarrassing is I nearly kissed Camber, thinking he has a pretty face. Luckily, no one noticed my cringeworthy moment at all, as the rest were even more drunk than me. Even Camber himself. When I went in to kiss him, he had turned to the edge of the boat to vomit. Ruining the mood. 

Even now, I feel my cheeks burn. Camber is another odd crush of mine. I suppose I have always liked weird things. He is the last person I would expect someone like me to like, out of all the men and sailors here. I guess my mind, and my body, thinks he is charming after being on this ship with him for over two weeks now. 

It is fortunate that he or any of the others, for that matter, never noticed my drunken misdemeanor, else I will never hear the end of it. Never. I will just be laughed at and mocked. 

I’m their captain, for God’s sake, one of the very first female ones on these waters. In fact, I can’t afford to be looked down upon by them for having a crush on one of my crew members in my first two weeks here. There is no love while at sea, and certainly none for a captain. 

I sigh and stare at the locket in my hand. My skin has started to get a nice, healthy tan from being out in the sun each and every day. And to think I used to have the palest hand before all this. Well, not anymore. 

I rub at the surface of the gold locket with my thumb, feeling the grooves and ridges of the design. Much of it has been worn down with how often I rub it and also due to its usage by the previous owner.

My fingernails are short and ragged, dirty too. Like the paleness of my skin, my cleanliness has all but disappeared. I probably smell more of sweat and booze. Not the romantic combination of smells. 

How I yearn for a nice hot bath, but the sailors don’t dare to bathe in the ocean or even go near it to collect water, including me. The water supply on the ship is running low even as I speak. I suppose we can go on with this water for two and a half more months. But at what point do we go back if we could?

Where exactly is the nearest island or land? We’ve heard just rumors of there being places on the east, north, and south of us, but our main destination is this island in particular, which we don’t even know if it exists. I worry more and more every day. 

If only it would rain. It’s been nothing but clear skies so far. I know how dangerous a storm is, but if we can fill our reservoir again with more drinking water, then maybe we can go farther. Everyone here is scared the day will soon come when we will drink the last drops of water. 

Another sigh leaves me. I can’t believe we all actually agreed to this craziness just so, on the off chance, we can find better land and make it our own. If we did find it, I doubt it will be better. I’m sure there are monsters there too. Why wouldn’t there be? It will be too easy. There would have also been rumors before us of Westerners traveling further out. 

Maybe it would have been better if we had just stayed put. We could have been safer in our homeland even though the monsters roamed the night and royalty controlled us in the day and pinched us of every coin we had. Safe or free was the question. That is why we did it. To be free. 

Though how much longer will we be? Truly?

Some like Camber and others are beginning to doubt if we will ever see land again, despite us barely making it a month. They are also thinking that we may be sailing forever, and our final days will be spent looking upon the vast blueness surrounding us as we take our last breaths, our mouths painfully dry from dehydration. 

While some like Eagan stay in the middle, not knowing what our futures hold for us. Then there are other sailors who are eternally optimistic, like Rose, assuring that there has to be land besides our own and we would happen upon it soon. Any day now, she says. 

That is the only time I have sided with the little blonde girl. I am also optimistic and have never spoken my worries out loud. A captain can’t put fear in her passengers and crew. And what’s more, this voyage can’t be all for naught. 

As these thoughts ruminate in my mind, I start playing with my locket, running it over and under my fingers. Probably not my best idea when my hands are hanging off the sides of the ship and the drinks have made me fuzzy-brained. I like the feel of the cold metal against my hot skin. I know I shouldn’t, but my mind is enveloped in a fog. 

I start to feel the necklace slip through my fingers, and my heart stops. I try to snatch it from mid-air, but the effect of gravity is too fast, and before I know it, I hear a ‘plop’ in the calm waters. 

“No!” I scream as my eyes widen in horror. That necklace is a memento of my mother’s. I cannot lose it. It is all I have had of her. 

I look into the dark waters and swallow hard. I might still have a chance to grab it, though my plan is risky. 

The waves are calm tonight, and my necklace could have already sunk to that depth where I will never be able to reach it. Or perhaps I still have time. I have to give it one try. My eyes glance at the rope attached to the pole hanging off the side of the boat. 

I can do this. I have to do this. I don’t allow sanity to reach my brain when I kick off my boots and climb up on the ledge. Without thinking, I dive into the water to retrieve my necklace. 

The salt of the ocean immediately stings my eyes, and I can’t see a thing once I am underneath the surface. 

Of course, I can't! I am so dumb! It's dark. How will I find it?

Out of the corner of my eyes, I see a glint of silver, and I follow the quick flash of color.

This must be it!

I feel excited as I stretch my arm out, my fingers reaching for it. But my instincts nag at me. Something isn’t right. Why is it not sinking further into the water? Is it caught on something? But what? 

We are in the middle of nothing but water all around. My mind is slow to ponder why my locket has stopped its descent to the bottom of the ocean. I blindly try to grab it and pull it toward me, but there is resistance and a tug. As if someone else too has grabbed onto it. 

What on earth can…?

My eyes focus hard in that direction, and I swim closer, going far below the surface of the water. It is then, in the darkness, I see two piercing gray eyes looking back at me. Narrowed and dangerous. 

What the fuck! What the actual fuck!

I open my mouth to scream, forgetting where I was. Instead of producing a shrill noise, bubbles rush out of my mouth instead. And then comes my need to breathe. I forget all about my necklace when I start to choke on the water. Salt burns the lining of my throat. I flail my arms violently at the same time, reaching up toward the surface and kicking my feet in a blind panic. 

In the end, with such violent movements, I manage to startle the creature. It draws back, then leans forward, showing me its razor-sharp teeth, pulling back its lips and hissing. In a flash, it swims away. 

I flail to the surface once the being is gone, gasping and coughing. I can’t believe my eyes even now. There was something there. In the waters. I saw it. A living thing…a living human-like thing…in the ocean with a human set of eyes, mouth, and hands. And the sharp teeth. 

And now it has my necklace too. Stupid. 

I swim toward the boat, which is some distance away, as fast as I can and grab hold of the rope and start climbing quickly, in fear for my life, now remembering the story about Sirens. Midway in my ascent, I turn my head, feeling the burning stare at my back, my wet tresses sticking to my forehead and water dripping into my eyes, obscuring my vision just a little more. 

Something is still out there. Looks like a fishtail. It suddenly slaps the water with a loud splash, and I grip the rope a little tighter than before. 

Sirens…

It couldn’t be, could it?

I scamper up the rest of the way, my heart pounding crazily. Upon reaching the deck, I flop down against the sturdy railing. My breaths are quick and intense as my mind replays the entire encounter. I look off the side of the boat again, the ocean now seemingly peaceful. When, in reality, I know it is not. Especially not now. 

My mind must surely be playing tricks on me! I mean...I mean... I'm not a hundred percent sober here.

Is it possible I have seen something else, and since I am secretly scared of the Sirens, my mind conjured it up?

I continue to stare out into the ocean. The only logical thought is that my mind has made up this 'Siren' creature. 

I suddenly feel a drop in my chest as sadness hits me. Even if that creature is a product of my active imagination, I have still lost the necklace. I feel ashamed. And lost without it.

I grip the side of my boat. My drunken state has gotten me into trouble once again. This time I have lost something very important to me, that I will never get it back. A piece of my heart.

An angry wail is suddenly heard over the partying of the sailors on deck, then there is another, followed by two more.    

What is that if the creature is just my imagination then?