„Okay, I think I’m ready to try an actual run. What do you say?“

My chat filled with messages of encouragement, as I switched to my speedrun profile on the Switch and activated the speedrun overlay.

„Woo, I am excited!“

I spent the previous hour or so streaming, practicing some speedrun techniques. I have practiced them in private, but showed them on stream as well, as a warm-up.

„Okay, so my goal for today is...“ I said as I booted up the game once more. „ I don’t know if I’ll manage 1:30, but I think a sub two should be realistic, right?“

„Wish you luck!“

A donation came in.

„Thank you so much, I’m going to need it. I’m going to attempt some pseudo waves to skip a few sections and I’ll have to do the final boss with low health, so I don’t know how well that is going to go.“

After a brief pause, I said, „okay, let’s do this,“ and opened up a new save.

[Let’s Goooooooo!]

[Hello YouTube?]

[Hello YouTube]

„Lol, what’s with all the YouTube messages. I don’t have a YouTube channel. I mean, I do, but I don’t use it to upload. Cutting down stream highlights takes way too long.“

[Shouldn’t you use YT tho?]

[Isn’t Twitch kinda meh when it comes to saving videos?]

[Huh, you don’t have proof of your WRs then?]

„Oh, I have them saved on my hard drive, for speedrun.com. I might upload them in full if you guys want to. But I don’t have the time for stream highlights. I always wonder how people do it, watching an 8-hour stream, cutting it down to like 10 minutes and not losing their mind.“

„I’ve always admired people who can just casually speedrun games like that. What’s your secret?“

„Thanks for the money! Well, first of all, I get up in the morning, then do 100 button presses, 100 control stick rolls and do 10 speedruns of Fing Rit Adventure.“

[Lmao, the ultimate gamer workout]

[Finally, fitness tips from Gaia-sama!]

[ROFL]

„After that it’s usually around 6am, and time for my breakfast of around 1000kcal. It consists of 1 Liter of F-Guel. After a one-handed 100% speedrun of Wreath of the Bild I usually eat a snack consisting of the essential Kangry Hit. My favorite!“

[Hey sponsors, I hope you pay her well.]

[I can already see the comments]

[She fell off hard after she started taking sponsor]

„Okay, I can’t keep this up any longer. This stream is NOT SPONSORED for those of you who didn’t get the message or can’t see through the sarcasm. ANYWAY, I gotta focus, y’all. I know the past streams have been a change of pace, but now I’m back to the real meat.“

„Who else is watching ValsStreams speedrun parallel to this? Lol“

„ValsStreams? Who dis? I’d look them up myself, but I am kind of busy right now, so can someone explain?“

„Another competitive streamer. She started her speedrun of Detroid Mread at the exact same time as you lolololol.“

[Hahah, that’s genius.]

[Who will finish first?]

[Quick place your bets!!]

With that my chat filled with people posting either my or Vals name.

„I guess it’s a race now, huh? Tell that ValGal that I am challenging her. Whoever finishes her speedrun first shall raid the stream of the other. A race, from woman TO WOMAN!“

As I shouted, I flexed my biceps again.

[OH there’s the flex]

[She’s serious]

„What am I up against anyways? Is she a professional speedrunner? Or just casual like I am?“

[Omg, how do you not know her?]

[This girl has like multiple WRs]

[Mostly she does Tinnendo games]

[She’s like the Queen of speedruns]

[This is her first attempt at Detroid Mread tho ...]

„Gulp, well sounds like I got a good chance, eheheheh ...“

„Message from Val: The race is on.“

„Crap ....“

[.]

[..]

[...]

[..]

[.]

„Hah, I really wish I could see how far she is right now. Though, honestly, I think that would be too much of a distraction.“

This game was much more intense than that Firby game. Firby was rather slow-paced by nature, so there wasn’t much you could do to save time, Detroid however, was a platformer, with lots of tight spaces, well-timed jumps, followed by slides, followed by melee attack followed by shooting. Whereas with Firby I could mostly just spam the same button and tilt the control stick to advance, Detroid required some fast button inputs from me.

Even more so now that I had a rival.

Not to mention the insane number of glitches I had to pull off to skip as much of the game as possible.

„Gulp, maybe it was a mistake to just challenge an actual speedrunner like that ... Say, how far is she?“

„She has already entered Raidon.“

„Whaaaaa? That’s like half the run already! Is she taking a different route? Or do I just suck?“

[Both]

[Both actually]

[Yeah]

„Wow, thanks for the encouragement, guys! I knew, I can always count on you,“ I said, as I turned my anime girl voice up a notch.

[Her run is insane though]

[Yeah, like her movements are almost perfect wth]

„Ahahah, maybe I should’ve checked her first. Unless she has a major fumble, I don’t think I’m gonna win.“

„Noooo, don’t let that discourage you! You can still get a good time.“

„Thanks for the encouragement for real this time.“

[Yeah, you can still make the top ... 500]

„True. I’m a bit slow, but I managed to pull of the pseudo waves at the beginning, without a hitch! Guess luck’s on my side today!“

And then came the first M.I.M.E. boss fight and I messed up!

„NO! Dammit!“

[Noooo]

[Come on!]

[For real?]

[Hello YouTube?]

[Well, it was your first attempt after all]

„Yeah, well obviously I practiced beforehand, but even when I played the first time, these bosses were a cinch! Aghhhh, it’s those fails that are the most frustrating!! But okay, we can still get a ... time I guess lol.“

I tried to use an impossibly small timeframe to kill the boss, but I was too slow and ended up getting killed myself. Luckily the game just threw me back to the beginning of the fight, so I lost maybe 30 seconds all in all, but still, it was just too frustrating.

The second try worked without a problem.

„There we go ...“

I put all my brain cells into not messing up my movements from now on.

[.]

[..]

[...]

[..]

[.]

„Imagine trying to do a 100% speedrun.“

„I know, it’s kind of ridiculous. I looked it up: some people managed to speedrun 100% in under two hours, and here I am, trying to do any% in the same timeframe, like what the heck, this is ridiculous.“

I was an hour something into my run. I wasn’t world-record fast, but my movement during the platforming sections was pitch-perfect, at least as far as I was concerned. My combat skills sucked ass, however. I did not die to any more bosses, despite my low max health, but there were a couple close calls.

I took almost every health upgrade with me to mitigate the damage. If you were going for a world record run, you wouldn’t do that, because the window pop-up took too much time. I didn’t want to die, so I did that anyway.

„Alright, now this is where the fun begins. I feel like I say that a lot.“

As I entered a room, a cutscene with a quick time event triggered. I followed through with the quick time event and ... the camera got stuck in place.

[What]

[Oh no]

[A glitch]

[You’re seriously using that glitch?]

[Good luck!]

„For the uninitiated: I triggered this glitch on purpose. Basically, what’s happening is, as long as the camera is stuck in place here, the collision detection for my character is off. Which means, I can now blindly navigate to a certain room, to skip a good chunk of the game.“

[Jesus, my brain hurts]

[Again, good luck]

„Yeah, I have to navigate blindly to the correct spot now, which will hopefully bring us to the next area early.“

After around a minute of blind movement, I ended the glitch and the camera snapped back in place, where my character was standing.

„Did it, heh.“

[What]

[How]

[That’s your first run?]

„Yeah, I had a bit of practice, but this is the first time I did it on video.“

„You’re insane,“ a donation of 20$ said.

„Thanks! But you ain’t seen nothing yet,“ I said, as I casually glitched through the floor.

„I told you, this was just the beginning. Trust me it only gets crazier from here.“

I entered a new area and took a few attempts to trigger another glitch, that would let me fall through the floor and trigger a boss fight early. After a bit of fiddling around I managed to kill it in just a few seconds. Again, this looked pretty messed up for the uninitiated viewer, but if you knew the science behind it, it was kind of fun.

„Honestly, if there was a glitch, that could shorten the abysmal loading times, that would be amazing,“ I commented, looking at the loading screen for almost half a minute. „Like, I love my Sintendo Nwitch, but Jesus it is WEAK. And nope, I don’t have a bad pun for y’all this time.“

I flexed my muscles.

„And more loading times, I sweaaaaaaar ... I mean, they are a welcome break from boss fights sometimes. I might get me some arthritis before this V-Tuber contest ends.“

Yeah, right, that was what that was all about, I almost forgot.

This was meant to be business, not fun.

„Hahah, I just have so much fun playing these games for you, I always forget, I kinda have an ulterior motive heheh. Anyway, love you guys, it’s so cool, to do this for you.“

I wished my avatar could show off the smile I gave my viewers right now, irl.

[GAIA-CHAN]

[Awwww <3]

[T^T]

„Anyway, it’s time for the final boss, hear that, Val? I’m about to enter the final are of the game.“

„I just checked, she entered the final area, just a couple seconds behind you!“

„Thanks for the donation, and the info!“

I stared at the screen, where my character stood inside a ship, waiting to be brought to the final area. Kinda felt epic.

[Now I’m curious]

[Doesn’t this fight take like ... hours]

„Not when you are a speedrunner.“

[She’s also at the final boss now!]

„Well, I am about to enter ... phase two!“ I said, just as I delivered the final blow to the boss. I skipped the cutscene and immediately went back to shooting.

[Isn’t phase two invincible most of the time?]

„Yeah, but I can cheese the boss if I just stand in this exact spot! Now I can just shoot without stopping, while he doesn’t do any damage!“

As I barraged the boss with lasers and missiles, he seamlessly transitioned into phase three. Now it was just more of the same, except I had to dodge some more.

„And ...“

I had triggered the final quick time event.

„There ... We ... Go ...“

I skipped the cutscene as soon as possible and stared at a mostly empty loading screen.

[Huh]

[Wow, when you just skip the cutscene this is really bland]

[Guess he’s ded]

„Yeah, speedrunning really has the potential to ruin your favorite games lol.“

Suddenly the boss turned into a giant slime-parasite-dragon-monster.

„Let me just take care of that ...“

And as soon as that transformation happened, I lasered him away.

„Alright, now for the escape!“

It was time for one of the Detroid series‘ famed escape sequences at the end of the game!

Mostly I just used the power-ups I acquired earlier to fly across the stage. The game gave you a generous three-minute time limit, but I only needed half of that, making my escape at

„2:04:52! BAM!“

The stream chat erupted in cheers. This was by no means a good time, placing me somewhere in the top 500 maybe.

[You did it!]

[Quick! Raid Val]

[Right, Val]

„Oh yeah, that was a thing! Uhhh, what’s her twitch name again?“

I quickly raided her stream, to announce my victory.

„Hello ValGal, seems like I remain victorious!“

„Ah, Gaia! Lmao, we raided each other at the same time.“

Val’s avatar was a cute girl, with a blond bob. She definitely was supposed to cash in on the appeal of a high school girl. She wore a Japanese school uniform, along with a red bow tied up above her head, making it look like to bunny ears sticking out of her head.

„What the fuck, that’s weird. This is like a poor person’s version of a discord call. Shame, was hoping to maybe see some of your gameplay, but it seems, we were mere seconds apart.“

„Yep, that’s what happened,“ she said with a chuckle. „Can’t believe you beat me, was fun to make a race like that though.“ Her voice was surprisingly upbeat. From her avatar I expected her to be much more tsun.

„Yeah, how come, I beat you? Aren’t you like a seasoned speedrunner or something? Like, my run was pretty bad, hahah.“

In that second a donation came in.

„Omg, I just realized something: Val was doing a 100% run.“

„Wait what?“ I voiced my surprise.

„Yeah, weren’t you?“

„HUH? No, I was doing any%. Wait, your time for a 100% run was WHAT?!“

„2:04 flat. Not sure where that places me though.“

I had already brought up the charts from speedrun.com.

„This places you in the top 10 ...“

„Huh, I guess if I get a bit more practice in, I might actually make a new world record. But having a race like that was kinda motivating! We should do this again some time.“

„Are you kidding me ...“

And just like that, a new rivalry was born.