Ben

Acting on instinct, I pulled Jade to me, my heart racing, wanting to keep her safe. When I saw her fall into the water, I almost panicked, even though I knew Jade could swim just fine.

I might have lived this fantasy a million times in my dreams, but helping Jade in this moment was my priority. I mean, it was probably my fault she fell in the first place. If only I could keep holding her like this…

***

Last Summer

I sat on a lounge chair on the beach in front of Horseshoe Lake, watching my sister, Maria, and Jade battling it out on the blow-up obstacle course. I had been disqualified from the race for literally throwing Ariana off the side. Totally worth the boot, because she deserved it. Plus, Jade laughed when I did it, and I lived for her happiness. She’d actually told me I was getting too strong and had an unfair advantage, and like a little puppy I ate up the attention. I’d puffed my chest at hearing her say that, because I had been trying so hard to be seen as something more than just Ariana’s little brother. I was about to be a senior in high school, after all.

I ran a hand through my hair as I worked to track Jade’s movement on the obstacle course. She was kicking ass, and I couldn’t be more proud of her. I doubted she even knew how much she’d come to mean to me. Maybe she even still saw me as the kid they let tag along with them, but it had been years since I was that little kid. I felt like a man, but they didn’t treat me like one. Sometimes it frustrated me, since I was only twenty months younger than Ariana—more importantly, I was less than a year younger than Jade. But maybe it wasn’t about age.

Reality was a bitch, and I knew all the girls were about to go away to college. Even if I only really saw Jade during the summer, the thought of her meeting—and hanging out with—all those college guys ate away at me on the daily. Not to mention it was all they talked about, and it seemed to make them act like they were a decade older than me. I was just starting to catch up to them too.

Jade made it to the top of the obstacle course, and even from where I watched, I could tell her gaze found me. Her black hair, long and draped down her back, glistened in the sun. God, she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. It had been about two years now. It was like one day she was just another annoying friend of my sister’s, then the next thing I knew I turned fifteen and started noticing girls. It hadn’t taken long for me to realize there was only one girl I really wanted to notice me. Maybe I was dreaming, but this summer, something felt different between us. Like maybe it wasn’t just an unrequited crush. Jade even flirted with me, and I prayed she wasn’t just practicing for all those college guys. Right before I got booted from the slide, she’d said how I filled out and even touched my bicep. I thought I was going to pass out from the adrenaline spike. Watching her now, I wondered if I should put myself out there, take a chance and tell her how I felt and just hope she didn’t crush me.

***

Present Day

Jade wrapped her arms around my neck and smiled, her face close enough that all I’d have to do was lean in. I’d dreamt about it enough times. But the fact that Maria and my sister were watching us from the dock above wasn’t a big selling point. Plus, after missing her so much, I’d wanted this kiss to be something special. Still, this sort of hero scenario wasn’t a bad setup. My eyes dipped to her lips. So full. So inviting. Until she sputtered, and water shot out of her mouth, almost spraying in my own mouth.

She laughed. “Thanks, Benji!”

I couldn’t help but laugh too. God, she’s adorable. “Come on. Let’s get you back on the dock.”

“I’ll try to stay on my feet this time,” she said and reached for the railing.

“Maybe it’s all that college learning that made you forget how to swim?”

“Hey, I can swim.” She brushed the hair from her face, her gorgeous, dark eyes wide. “You just surprised me, and I lost my balance.”

“My bad.” I helped guide her up the rungs and stayed close in case she slipped. “I didn’t realize how far over you were leaning.”

Jade, almost to the top, glanced over her shoulder at me, her eyes traveling down to my chest. “So, why aren’t you going by Benji anymore?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. It just feels like…I outgrew it, you know?”

Jade didn’t say anything since Ariana reached a hand out and helped her onto the dock.

“He’s trying to revamp his image for college. But he’ll always be our little Benji-Button!” Ariana cooed in a baby voice.

That was the last thing I needed. I splashed water at my sister, but she jumped back, and Jade almost fell again. This time Maria grabbed Jade’s other hand, and together they hauled her to her feet to stand on the dock. That was how it always was—they had each other’s backs, and I had all of theirs. Of course, that left me to take care of myself, and I climbed onto the dock next.

I grabbed the towel I’d brought and handed it to Jade. When she didn’t immediately take it, I realized she was staring at my chest again. I couldn’t hold back my grin, and when I looked at Ariana, she rolled her eyes. I didn’t care; I’d been working out so hard last year, not just for Jade, but she certainly had been an inspiration. And I had no issues with being proud of my body. I’d earned it. But the longer Jade’s eyes lingered on my shirtless chest, the more self-conscious I grew.

“Here,” I said pointedly, holding the towel up to eye level. “Get yourself dried off.”

I could be mistaken but I thought I saw a little blush on her cheeks when she took it from my hand and said, “Thanks…Ben.”

Hearing her say my name like that… Hot damn.

Jade wiped her face and arms and then wrapped the towel around herself. Oh, to be that towel. Then she turned to Maria and Ariana, and I caught some awkwardness between them that I’d never seen before. Maria and Ariana seemed to notice they were right next to each other and took a step back. What the heck is going on now?

Ari had been acting weird lately whenever Maria’s name came up. She sort of closed up and got quiet. Did they have some sort of argument? I was almost going to ask when Maria said, “Well…I should get back. Gotta finish unpacking.” She backed a couple steps away and added, “Guess I’ll see you guys later. Nice to see you, Benji.” Then she gave a quick wave and ran off. I squinted over at my sister, hoping she’d give some explanation, but she just huffed and flicked her hair back. Figures. We all watched Maria for a few beats longer before Ariana said, “I’m going to get a drink at the lodge.” And she was off without a second look. Didn’t even ask Jade or me if we wanted to go. Which was fine with me, but I was worried about both of them now.

Jade had the same look on her face I was sure I had—a mix of confusion and concern. I gave her a tight smile as she wrung out her hair, but I doubted it gave her much comfort. She blotted herself a few more times before offering the towel to me.

“I’m good, thanks. You should probably keep it since you’re in full clothes.”

“Thanks.” She wrapped the towel back around herself, then crossed her arms over her chest.

The whole thing was so uncomfortable, even though all I’d been anticipating was being alone with her. I had to find a way to break the ice between us. “Hey, you remember the promise we made last summer?” I asked, stepping a little closer.

“What?” Her voice squeaked on that one word as if I’d just freaked her out.

I definitely didn’t want to make her nervous, so I said, “You know, that we’d jump off Big Horn this summer.”

Jade let out a sigh and grinned. “Oh, uh, yeah. I remember.”

“Cool.”

Once again we stood in silence. Come on, Jade. I’m doing all the work here.

Maybe she was thinking about that last night together, at the bonfire. Staring into her eyes, I tried to read her mind. She averted her gaze after only a few beats. I couldn’t stand it any longer. “Jade…”

“Yeah?”

“Are things…weird between us?”

She hesitated.

“They are, right?”

“What— Why would they be weird?”

I leaned closer, my hand brushing hers. Guess I need to spell it out. “Because I kissed you at the end of last summer.”