“Silas. What do ya mean your husband is 17?” I whispered.
“No, we met when he was 17,” Silas sighed, continuing to cook for Sebastian, “he was looking for a job after being kicked out by his parents and I hired him to be my server and dishwasher. Fucking incredibly hard worker. I started teaching him to cook, let him move into my apartment because he was homeless. Got his diploma, all that jazz. I didn’t touch him, even hug him until he was 18. I haven’t brought him to meet everyone because I don’t want to deal with what Dad will say. I’m not ashamed of Lincoln. I adore him with every bit of my soul. But I don’t… want to hear from Dad that he’s disappointed.”
“So you’ve been married for?”
“4 years. Soon as he was 19. We got married at the courthouse. Lincoln Kelly became Lincoln Hope. We’re thinking of having a baby soon before I feel too old to be a dad. I’m 33 after all.”
“Am I the only one you’ve told?” I whispered softly.
“Yep. You’re my best friend. I meant to tell you sooner but just… didn’t know how. So what’s so wrong with an 8-year gap? He’s 23 right?”
“My… issue.”
“Ah,” Silas laughed, filling a small cup with soup before making tea, “your need to dominate your partner, have them call you daddy, spoil them completely when they’re good? That issue?”
“Silas,” sighing, I looked up at the ceiling, “Yes. That issue.”
“You have a domination kink. It’s really not that rare. It’s a matter of finding out if he’d be okay with that.”
“I could control it for him. I’d do anything if it meant… if Bas…”
“Oh Ollie,” Silas ruffled my hair and I smacked his arm away, “you’re in love again. After 9 years.”
“Mhm. Also, I ran into Sky a few months ago. He’s been stalking me apparently. Tryin’ to get into the buildings, tryin’ to talk to me. But fuck it was… Sebastian was with me and essentially destroyed Skylar with a few sentences. It was so… hot. He cares about me. Truly cares and I don’t… he’s never looked at me weirdly when my leg gives me problems. Just helps me through the pain. Feeds me, makes sure my laundry is done, takes care of Aldo, and still does his job perfectly. He likes… I mean I think he likes who I am as a person. Told me he’d work at Parallel even without the money. He just wanted… to be a part of everythin’ and I believe the truth in his words. Always."
“Oliver,” Silas came around and gently hugged me and I laid my head on his chest, grateful to have my older brother here, “you need to tell him.”
“Not yet. It’s only been a few months.”
“Then when?”
“When we go to Genova for Lauren’s wedding. You’re coming right?”
“No, but I’ll be home at Christmas… with Lincoln. If I can do it, then you can be honest with Sebastian about your feelings.”
“Oliver?” Sebastian squeaked from his bedroom and I ran in there to find him standing in the middle of the room, “Oliver where am I?”
“We’re home,” I rushed over, catching him before he could fall and he started to snore in my arms, “Oh. He wasn’t even fully awake. The fever,” I looked at Silas over my shoulder before carrying Sebastian into the living room, setting him gently in my lap, “I forgot about this. Bas is a sleepwalker. I have to double-lock everything. I found him in the hallway our first night here. Change or stress seems to make it worse.”
“He’s an angel,” Silas sighed happily, studying Sebastian, “an actual angel. My fucking god is he beautiful.”
“Merci,” Sebastian croaked and I immediately looked down at him, “you look just like your sister.”
“I’d fucking hope so we shared a womb,” Silas snorted, squatting down next to the couch, “it’s so nice to meet you, Bas. I’m Silas.”
“Bien rencontré. You have no accent either.”
“Nope. Only Ollie. Got it from our dad Hunter. Are you hungry?”
“A little,” he nodded, before smiling up at me, “Bonjour.”
“Bonjour,” I smiled, rubbing his cheek softly and Sebastian leaned into my touch, “how are you feeling?”
“Tired. My chest hurts. But I want to be awake.”
“You really need a shower,” I whispered, “you’re so sweaty.”
“He’s not going to be able to stand that long,” Silas sighed, heading into the kitchen and grabbing what he had made for Sebastian, setting it on the coffee table, “but I know a way he can with your help without seeing him nude.”
“Really?” I looked at Silas in shock and he nodded, grabbing his phone and dialing a number.
“Hey baby,” he laughed softly as I helped Sebastian onto the floor, setting his back to my legs so he could eat, “do we still have that stuff from when you had surgery? Yeah, can you bring it to Oliver’s apartment? Let them know you’re a guest at the door and they’ll let you come up. I’ll meet you at the elevator. Huh? No, my brother is fine, Lin. It’s for his friend. Just really sick. Can’t stand. I need the one for hair too. Thank you, my love. I’ll see you soon,” he hung up as Sebastian slowly started to eat, “Lin will bring over the four basins we used after he had surgery, as well as the soap. We’ll need three towels, a sheet, and a comb. Basically, you’re going to lay in bed, Bas. You don’t have to be naked but as close as you can be. You should be able to get your genitals on your own. But let Oliver do your hair, everywhere else you’re comfortable with him touching. With the sheet, you’ll stay warm and he won’t be able to see you. You’ll want to take one washcloth, put it in the soapy water, take it a body part at a time and wash it, then use another washcloth to rinse it, and finally dry it immediately. Hair should be last so you’re not sitting there with it dripping. I had to hand bathe my husband Lincoln for two months. I got pretty good at it. But I can understand it being awkward. So this gives privacy. Anywhere you’re not comfortable with him touching, be honest and do it yourself. Okay?”
“Merci, Silas,” Sebastian smiled and I slowly ran my fingers through his hair, “I… Oliver, I’m…”
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. There is no need for it. I want ya to feel better. So no guilt. I can’t function if you’re not around. I’ll work from here for a few days and take over the finances for now. If I have questions, I’ll ask ya. I ran the company alone before I can do it now.”
“Okay…” he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and I ran my hand down his cheek, resting it softly against his throat, “oh…” he whimpered softly and I gripped ever so lightly, wondering how he would react. A small smile graced his lips and I chewed my own, “Are you okay?”
“Oh I’m fantastic,” I whispered, digging the nails on my other hand into my thigh, “are ya feelin’ better?”
“I mean a little. My tummy is full. The soup was amazing. The tea is nice. I feel safe,” he wrapped his arms around my leg after I moved my hand from his throat, “no one ever took care of me when I was sick.”
“Well Silas seems to be doing more than me,” sighing, I looked up at the ceiling, “so what can I do for ya?”
“Um… tenez-moi?”
“I don’t speak French. I speak Italian.”
“Will you hold me?” He shoved the words out of his chest as Silas walked out of the front door and I swallowed thickly before helping Sebastian from the floor and allowing him to cuddle into my lap, the side of his head against my chest as I covered him with the blanket on the back of the couch, “merci.”
I had held Sebastian off and on all day today but these had been during times of panic or his own weakness. This was simply his desire to be close to me and it was causing me to panic, suddenly unsure of what to do with my hands. I hadn’t felt this way since the first time I held Skylar and Sebastian was sitting on me in the exact same position.
He is not Skylar.
He won’t cheat on you.
He wouldn’t leave.
It’s okay to trust again, Oliver.
Trust in him.
I hummed softly and finally wrapped my arms around him, one across his legs and the other around his back. We sat there quietly, Sebastian playing with the buttons of my shirt and I gently nuzzled the top of his head.
“Oliver?”
“Yes.”
“Um… never mind.”
“Just tell me… please?”
“Can it wait a little while?” He tilted his head to look up at me and I nodded slowly, “Merci. I am unsure… is all.”
“Take as much time as you need. I ain’t goin’ anywhere. I hope ya won’t either.”
“There is nowhere I would rather be than with you, Oliver. I uh… I mean working with you. Living here uh…” his face flared about something other than his fever for the first time today and I laughed softly, rubbing the left one gently.
“It’s okay. I knew what ya meant.”
“Oliver!” Silas came walking in with a beautiful man next to him, “This is my husband Lincoln. Lin this is Oliver and his uh… assistant or friend Sebastian. I'm not really sure which one.”
“Both,” I smiled, “it’s nice to meet ya.”
“Oh yes. You as well,” Lincoln nodded, clearly nervous as he placed everything Silas had asked for on the table.
Lincoln was adorable, with short sandy blonde hair and deep brown eyes, his skin as pale as Sebastian’s and he barely came to Silas’ shoulder, meaning he was only a bit taller than Sebastian as well.
“No need to be nervous around Ollie,” Silas smiled, wrapping an arm around Lincoln's waist, “trust me. He’s the sweetest one in the family, he just looks scary like my Dad.”
“Really?” Lincoln chewed his lip and Sebastian slowly sat up, resting his back on my chest.
“Oui,” Sebastian smiled, “Oliver is wonderful. Gentle, caring, nonjudgmental. Sweet and kind. He takes excellent care of me and always gets me anything I want or need. He’s my best friend and I adore him. He rushed me to the hospital today even though I didn’t want to go because he cared and knew what was best for me. He always seems to,” Sebastian tilted his head up and rubbed his forehead on my cheek, “so do not be scared. If he was a bad person I would not be here.”
“Oh, are you…” Lincoln looked at us confused and I quickly shook my head, “Huh. Okay. Honey,” he softly touched Silas on the chest, "I have that appointment in the morning. So I need to get my sleep and make sure I drink plenty of water before. Can you please pick up plenty of water bottles?”
“Anything for you,” Silas softly kissed his forehead and I stared in surprise.
Silas had never seemed to be the one to want to settle down, always proclaiming he’d be single forever. Apparently, it had simply taken the right person to come along and he was suddenly gentle.
“We will be okay,” Sebastian smiled, “your soup helped quite a bit. Merci, Silas.”
“Of course. I forgot Nita told me your French, your voice throws me off every time I hear it,” Silas smiled.
“Ah I was born in France but the orphanage thinks my father was from Scotland and my mother was French. But I am unsure. My surname was given to me by the priests when no one adopted me. They simply picked one.”
“Oh, I… I’m sorry I didn’t.”
“Non, I am proud of how I was raised because it made me the man I am today and brought me here. No need to say sorry. It’s been very nice to meet you. I wish it was under different circumstances.”
“Us as well. Come to my restaurant when you feel better. I’ll make you both lunch.”
“Deal,” Sebastian wiggled happily and I gripped the cushion, doing my best to ignore how nice it felt.
“Night Ollie. I’ll call to check in on you both in a few days.”
“Yeah. Love you,” I smiled as Silas pulled Lincoln out of the door.
“Love you.”
Sebastian and I sat there for a bit longer before he whined softly, resting his head on my shoulder.
“What is it?” I laughed.
“I feel gross.”
“Would you like that bath now?”
“I… yes,” he whispered, his cheeks bright pink, “can you help me to the bedroom?”
“Anything you want.”
I assisted Sebastian to the bed and as he got as comfortable as he could, I followed Silas’ directions, filling tubs with warm water and carefully setting them on a towel close to the bed. Once I had everything ready and Sebastian was under the sheet, he slowly held his arm out and I focused on washing him, doing my best not to think about what I was doing, trying to not linger on his skin as it was soft and cool to the touch.
“That feels nice,” he whispered as I worked on his legs, stopping just above the knee, “Merci. For being respectful.”
“Of course,” clearing my throat, I gently helped Sebastian roll onto his stomach and slowly pulled the sheet back to his hips, “I’m going to do your back now.”
“Mhm,” he nodded slowly and I began, following the washcloth with my eyes as I realized just how freckled his back was, small marks everywhere. A gentle noise escaped Sebastian, closer to the meow of a kitten and I fought down a growl, focusing on his shoulders.
Kitten would be a perfect name for him.
That’s what he reminds me of.
Give him food or special treats and he practically purrs.
“Oliver?” Sebastian muttered, “That’s a bit… that’s… oh…” he let out a gentle moan when I ran my fingers down the nape of his neck and I immediately felt my stomach twist.
“Bas? I… I’m done…”
“You haven’t done my hair…”
“Oh, that’s right. Okay,” I picked up the special basin that would cradle his neck and Sebastian slowly rolled onto his back, pulling the sheet up before settling how I needed, “I’ll be gentle.”
“You always are,” he smiled at me and I softly poked his nose before I began to wash his hair, “for someone so large.”
“I’m always careful. You’re so much smaller than me. Last thing I’d wanna do is accidentally hurt you.”
“I know,” he gently touched my stomach, “I trust you.”
“I trust you too,” I whispered, rinsing his hair, “do ya need me to comb it for you?”
“If you’d like.”
“I’d… love nothing more.”
I left the room so Sebastian could put on clean pajamas and when he called for me I came back in to find him sitting up in bed, Aldo resting next to him.
“He cares so much for ya,” I smiled, sitting behind Sebastian and grabbing a comb.
“He knows I do not feel well,” Sebastian coughed.
“Let me finish this then you can rest.”
“Okay.”
Sebastian allowed me to comb every single knot from his hair before he suddenly fell asleep, slumping over in my lap.
Oh.
Poor baby.
He’s been so talkative.
Pushed himself too hard.
I really should clean this up.
But…
I’ll allow myself a little bit of self-indulgence.
I’ve wanted to hold him like this since the night we met.
“Goodnight,” I whispered softly, fixing the bed a bit so I could lean against the wall, Sebastian cuddling against my stomach, “sweet dreams.”
I’m losing.
But he clearly is interested in me too.
I need to tell him.
I’m not sure how long I can wait anymore.
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