It was the same the next day. I’d woken when the sun rose once more, and spent time talking to Hotaka before the wife shooed me away during his mealtime. She said I was too dirty. I’d ruffled my feathers at her for that. I was not dirty!
Unlike me, Hotaka and other humans needed to get their energy from eating. He’d explained all about food and how many other beings—animals—did the same. It had been fascinating.
During the day I continued to explore nearby, bravely going further each time. I checked out tall trees with bare branches, and spindly trees with thin prickly leaves, all so different from sky trees. I flew through the human village, checking out the castles which Hotaka called houses, and peered closer at other humans. And then once the sun disappeared again, I flew back to Hotaka and told him all about it.
He was thankful for all I told him, and in return I learnt a lot. Hotaka shared stories about the village he lived in, his wife, and all about the gods. He explained how he spent a lot of time sleeping as his body was sick and wasn’t getting better after he collapsed one day. The reason his house smelt different to the others was from all the medicines his wife gave Hotaka, trying to heal him. After that I watched him closer. I couldn’t tell a sick human from a not-sick human, and I was determined to figure it out.
Each day the air grew colder on my wings. Snow still threatened and I looked forward to seeing how it fell down here on the ground. Hotaka, however, grew quieter. I wondered if he was bored of laying in the futon every day, and decided to go out and find something to bring back for him this time. I was strong enough to carry something small, and I was confident in finding my way back.
“Sparrow-san,” he said quietly, just before I left him for my daily adventure. “Thank you for the company. You’ve been a good friend to me. Why don’t you go further today? Try to find more people to talk to.”
“I have a plan today,” I replied proudly. The day before I’d met with human hatchlings who promised to leave out a shiny rock for me. Today I’d fetch it to show Hotaka. He’d love it.
“Good,” Hotaka said, his breath light. “Goodbye, sparrow-san.”
I flew off as usual, wings beating fast against the chill air and soared around the village. Humans had all sorts of creations, and I knew Hotaka would love seeing something from the outside that he could keep beside him.
The sun was hiding behind clouds today. They stretched across the whole sky, thick and grey. After days of saying snow would fall, it looked like Aimi would finally be correct. In fact, it didn’t even wait until I’d flown for long at all. The first fat snowflakes dropped as I’d approached a house that was full of human hatchlings. They tickled as they touched my feathers, and I hurried. I’d never tried these new wings in wetter weather and I needed to make sure to stay warm enough.
I hoped the shiny stone would be easy to find. The human told me she’d leave it on a fresh tree stump near to her house. Lightning had struck the whole tree down, leaving a charred mess; the human liked it though, as the black remnants coloured her hands. As I weaved between houses, I looked for it in the dying light. The snow certainly made things more difficult, but even the worsening weather couldn’t keep me from my plan.
Despite the snow, the blackened stump came into view. I dove down to the ground, spotting the human hatchlings from before running around in the snow, waving their arms happily in the air. The shiny stone sat on the stump, alongside a pile of seeds and a twig. The young humans had left me more gifts, and I needed to make sure to come back and thank them when they weren’t busy. I didn’t think they could understand me as much as Hotaka could, but they enjoyed seeing me and had tried to touch my feathers just as Hotaka did. In fact, any human I tried to talk to struggled, yet Hotaka could understand me fine. I really couldn’t understand why.
I managed to grab the stone with my short beak and held on tight before taking off back into the freezing air. The snow was falling faster now, and it started to pile up on the ground. I’d seen it land on sky trees before, glittering in the sun after falling softly, but down here it was a muted soft white. Flakes landed on my head, covering my eyes, and I blinked to try and shake them off. I never realised how difficult it was to fly in snow down here; the flakes seemed to fall with animosity, striking me at any opportunity.
It wasn’t long before I had found my way back, despite the snow’s attempt to stop me, and I dipped back into where Hotaka lay. His wife always made sure to leave the door open just enough that I could fit through. I think she liked me too.
Landing on the ground beside his futon, I placed the shiny stone down on the ground. He wasn’t lying there now, but that was normal as sometimes his wife helped him try to move around. I’d wait right here for him to come back and show him his present. In the meantime, I shook my feathers to rid the snow, and warm up a little from the bitter cold.
“Ah, sparrow-san, you’re back,” Aimi said cheerily. “It finally snowed—w-what? Where’s Hotaka?”
Cheer vanished in a second as she almost threw the rice bowl in her hands to the floor and hurried out of the door. A horrible feeling filled my insides. There was still a lot I needed to learn about humans, but even I could tell something was really wrong.
Where could he be? He struggled to sit up and was more tired lately. Did another human take him to see outside? He always talked about it.
I shot out into the snow, soaring up as high as I could and scanned for him. In the snow he would stand out as his kimono was a dark grey today. But unlike suzaku, Hotaka could change them! What if he wore a white one? I would never find him in this snow.
I circled around and around trying to spot any sign of him, my panic rising. Maybe he had wanted to see the snow now that it had finally started to fall, there were trees nearby he could rest under and view… but would he really do that? I scanned the snow. It was falling so fast now, if he had disturbed it, flakes would have covered it over again.
I couldn’t see in this snow! It made me so angry and I just wanted to melt it all away. Anything to find my friend.
There.
A splash of grey marred the snow. I dove down and down, blinking away snow covering my eyes once more. I didn’t even try to land and barrelled into a pile of snow instead, jumping up to face him. I found Hotaka.
He looked different now, paler, except his lips which had changed to blue. His body shook and I knew he was so cold.
“There you are! What are you doing?”
“S-Sparrow-san… I t-thought you w-were going further.”
“I have a gift for you. Come back to your nest and I will show you.”
Hotaka shook his head. “No. I’m n-not going b-back.”
“But…”
“You’ve been a g-good f-friend, sparrow-san.”
I hopped up and down unsure what to do. It felt wrong.
Hotaka closed his eyes and I flittered up and pecked his face. “What are you doing?”
“I am not wasting away in a b-bed any longer. I’ll die out h-here in the s-snow. I’d use a b-blade, but I’m t-too cowardly.”
I let the snowy wind drop me back down as I felt a heaviness take over. Suzaku didn’t die often, but could roam for many years unless something took us. I couldn’t understand this. Was it another human thing?
“I don’t want you to die.”
Hotaka didn’t respond. His body had stopped shaking, and I could see only a light breath clouding the air. I felt so powerless, me, a suzaku, great vermillion bird of the skies. How did I have no—
“Hotaka! Hotaka!” I rushed back to his face, pecking him to wake up. “You don’t have to die! Maybe I can help.”
He hummed a reply and I took it as a yes. I would save my friend… though I wasn’t sure how. I thought back to Tsukuyomi’s words, how I could use the magical gift he bestowed on me. One big thing, he’d said. I never cared for immortality or anything like that. I cared for Hotaka.
Landing on Hotaka’s head I closed my eyes and called to Tsukuyomi, begging for my only wish to be granted.
Please. Save my friend.
*
The house was empty now. Not of belongings or memories, they were scattered everywhere. On the floor lay a folded up futon in the corner, and another sprawled out. Too much time had been spent in it, watching the sun rise and set and rise again. But, those weren’t quite my memories. Neither were the ones of soaring in the open skies, free and limitless. Our thoughts and feelings now melded, but often raged free at strong feelings. It felt as if our very souls were breaking free.
We were one now, Hotaka’s revitalised body and suzaku’s long life and magic. A gift which had given new life to the both of us. We could do anything now.
It had been a week since the day in the snow, since Aimi had been left behind. We let her believe Hotaka had died out in the snow, disappearing into the frozen air. He would have, if Tsukuyomi’s gift hadn’t worked.
Beside the messy futon lay a tantou sheathed in a wooden scabbard; its short blade still as sharp as the day it was honed. Aimi would notice it’s disappearance, and maybe she’d believe that somewhere Hotaka would be safe.
I’d keep him safe. I saved his life. And now we’d live to see many more snowfalls and sunrises.
A quick change of kimono and we were done here. I slid the tantou into the kimono front, keeping it close to our strong beating heart. I wasn’t sure what was next, only that we needed to find Tsukuyomi. Not only were we indebted to him, but there was the matter of his threats. Now with our joined mind I saw how Tsukuyomi had used my curiosity to make me help him, to protect him from enemies. I didn’t know how to feel about it. Without him there would be no… this. Whatever we were now.
Stepping out into the night, I followed the light of the moon away from the village until a shrine came into view. It was half-buried in snow and all offerings were frozen, however it would be enough for what I needed. Nobody would recognise Hotaka’s body out in the night, and if anyone looked in this direction, all they’d see is a traveller, face hidden under a bamboo kasa. The hat would keep us safe in the weather, also.
“Tsukuyomi,” I said, gently in the wind. “I call to you from this body, but you know me. I’m—”
“—the suzaku I gifted my power,” Tsukuyomi finished.
I turned around to see him standing in moonlight, his black kimono brushing against the snow.
“I see the sparrow wasn’t enough for you. Although I shouldn’t be surprised. I’ve never seen my power used like this before, but I have seen many use it to save others.”
I frowned. “Others? You’ve given your power out before?”
“Why are you surprised? Did you think you were the first?”
“I…” I never really thought about it before. He was right, I shouldn’t be surprised. “I’ve come to ask you about the threats. As you can see, I accepted your terms. I don’t know if this changes anything, as I can’t see things from high any more.”
Tsukuyomi watched me carefully before speaking again. “This form will need magic to survive. You’ll be of no use to me as my eyes right now, you’ll need to learn how to survive like this first. Go and explore the world, suzaku, and call for me when have learnt.”
“Hotaka,” I replied. “That’s my name.”
He smiled gently. “Try going south, Hotaka. I feel you’ll find some answers there.”
“South,” I repeated. “It’s been a long time since I went south.”
The moonlight dimmed, and along with it vanished Tsukuyomi, leaving me standing in the snow. I had answers for now though. We’d head south and learn this new body fully.
And together we’d keep on surviving.
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