I jolt awake, heart pounding. The ghosts of my nightmare fade as I orient myself - just the same old bedroom. My t-shirt is drenched in a cold sweat.

Ever since that day at the grocery store, the dreams have gotten worse. I relive the awkward encounter with that girl, except this time my anxieties warp it into something uglier. In the dream, she points and laughs in my face when I try to speak. Her hazel eyes turn cruel and mocking. My courage shrivels.

I shake my head, trying to clear the unsettled feeling. Can't a guy even find peace in sleep? The glowing 4:00 AM on my clock taunts me - no point trying to rest again. I limply get up to start my day. Might as well see if any new games have updated.

I boot up my computer, but struggle to lose myself in the virtual worlds today. My avatar dies repeatedly as my mind wanders. I keep replaying the grocery store scene on loop. Where did I go wrong? Should I have said something different? Not that it matters now.

A hollow sensation spreads through my chest. I thought I'd made peace being a loner, but lately dissatisfaction gnaws at me. I distract myself with a bowl of stale cereal, letting the crunch drown out my thoughts. But when I return to my desk, the darkness creeps back in.

My cursor hovers over a social media tab - a portal into the living, breathing world I've walled off. Before I can think twice, I click it and scroll through the feeds. So many smiling faces, group photos, plans being made. Pangs of FOMO and sadness flare up as I click away.

The day drags as I zone out watching meaningless videos rather than gaming. I keep glancing at my silent phone, though I never message anyone first. When fatigue finally forces me into bed, I feel a weight pressing down on my chest, making it hard to breathe.

Was I always this lonely? When did malaise replace passion and curiosity? My 20s are slipping away in this hermit crab shell existence. As I stare up at the ceiling waiting for sleep, a single tear rolls down my cheek. I hurriedly wipe it away. Crying over loneliness seems so pathetic. Tomorrow I'll play some more immersive games to take my mind off this feeling. I just have to keep distracting myself, I think as I drift off...

But deep down, I know escapism is no cure for the increasing darkness inside me.