The angry, scared, and inane people from all over had no problem being horrible in the bunker. From March through to the end of May: people acted as if they lost their minds in that place. I can't tell you if they were simply frustrated or actually vile, but I CAN tell you that they were quite idiotic in there. There would be the part where one would say "Oh, now I realize my friend or family wasn't so bad" but it was like I was trapped with their clones, and all of them came out looking different, but with similar attitudes. As for myself; I wondered "Was it me?" Was I the common denominator and was the cause of my suffering? But thinking back; how could you continue to argue and fuss at someone you don't know and who hasn't done or said anything to you? Those people wanted freedom and if they couldn't do whatever they wanted, they wanted everyone else to suffer with them.

I will say though; not only did a handful of people have sense there; but I was often able to escape situations due to the very loud and extroverted people moving along with the crowd. Hardly anyone else slept in the corners, under tables, near the trash, and other strange spots there… it was great as there wasn't no one telling me where I had to physically be, but not lifting a finger when their command and/or advice leaad to danger for me…

The one good thing that happened started on the 11th of my final month inside that hole: I had nostalgic memories of that day as that's when I realized my opus was something astronomical (in my eyes) and that, along with the rain made things a little calmer… everybody either was lulled to sleep or couldn't shout at full capacity without bright, scalding sun to `power them`. So it was calm that day, and I neared a window to look at the rain.. 

Yes, it was above ground; but the guards were very lazy this day, too.. So I could watch the rain in peace, a few others followed me up too.. Light conversations filled the area, but I merely calmed my breathing.. Thought back on happier days; school was almost out around this time, my first book turned out so much fun, superstition of the first May rain was remembered, for some reason the realization that June was coming filled me with hope.. It felt sensual… A little TOO sensual though; I caught the attention of this redhead woman… She stared at me from the dark, with her piercing amber eyes… So (being introverted even more than I still am now) I left with a sheepish yet scared smile…