So being autistic can sometimes be strange. For example many of us have what is called alexithymia. This is the inability to define and describe emotions. So we often have meltdowns or shutdowns because we can't process how we feel about life happening to or around us. I've found ways to cope with it, like externalizing the emotions. For example, I paint my nails or wear a color coded outfit, maybe a different kind of sock. This helps put the emotions outside of me so I don't have to sit with something I can't comprehend. Or if I need to talk about it, I will tell someone a scenario that causes my body to feel similar. Like, when you sit on a chair that wobbles, but only when you shift your weight to the right. And I find that even if people don't understand this, they can give me scenarios and I say yes or no until we get to the closest approximation of what I am feeling. 

This also means that once I get a feeling out of me, it has passed. All of my emotions are very brief and.. well passing. I rarely hold onto an emotion long enough for it to fester or become an extreme. These extremes aren't as passing because they effect the body a lot longer. But because the stages of feeling that come before emotional extremes, when we feel something extreme it can seemingly come out of nowhere because I brushed off the phases to get there. 

To this end, however, I rarely get actually upset. When asked to think of a time I was angry, I couldn't. The best I could come up with was I had found something "irritating", but could not process any sort of more intense emotion. 

Please just help people in your life with alexithymia externalize our emotions, I know I genuinely don't hold grudges or such things and need help putting boundaries between me and people who are repeat offenders.🫶