“Do you think about what ifs?”

Tamara looked up from the sketch she was working on, her blue eyes full of glimmers of curiosity.

“What kind of what ifs?”

“I dunno. Potential relationships? Future plans? Stuff like that.”

“Hmmm….I think everyone does in different ways. Why? Are you thinking about what ifs?”

“Yeah, I definitely am.”

She scrunched her nose up mischievously.

“Is it a boyyyy??? OOH, I’M TELLIN’ YOUR DADS!!”

“Stop! Tamara!”

“That means it totally is! Who is it? Do I know him?”

“Probably not. It’s…my housemate?”

“Oh, that Malcolm guy?”

“Yeah.”

Tamara huffed shortly.

“I dunno about him, dude. He’s a little…”

“A little what?”

“Well, maybe it was just a bad first impression. I met him once, when he first started livin’ with Teeran and Dean. He came off…kinda self-important, to be honest. He asked if my name was from a horror movie. Guess he misheard it or something ‘cause he kept calling me Samara and Dean had to correct him! He, like, sulked in the corner on his phone the whole time, and when it was time to go, he cheered under his breath.”

“That fuckin’ guy,” Moses rolled his eyes, “he was kinda like that when I first met him too. Like, he called my eyeliner ‘guyliner’.”

“As if he has any room to talk.”

“Exactly! He’s always wearin’ those mesh crop tops.”

“Asswhipe!”

“Listen…I know this doesn’t excuse his shitty behavior and I’m sorry he was a dick to you but, well…he was goin’ through a really shit time and he doesn’t have any fuckin’ self regulating skills…not like I was much better when I started living with my dad again. He only just met up with his parents recently after running away and going no contact, and as far as I’m aware, he was still using at that point.”

Tamara’s eyes widened, “shit, dude. Fuck, that’s so hard.”

“I know, I can only imagine. I mean, my situation ain’t ideal, but I at least never had to deal with that shit.”

“He better not be an asshat to you or I’ll beat him up!”

“Don’t do that!”

“I will. He better watch out.”

“He’s a lot better than he was though. He’s different than when I met him. He’s changing, I can tell. He IS an ass, and he can be a real pain, but he’s also really kind and considerate of my feelings and he cares that I’m comfortable. He’s…also really hot, which helps.”

“I mean, I don’t swing that way, but I can definitely see the appeal.”

Moses chuckled.

“I think about him all the time…it’s kinda drivin’ me crazy. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about anyone before.”

Tamara held a small smile, almost sad at a glimpse.

“How do you feel about it?”

“I mean….in a way, I’m kinda scared of what might happen. Like, what we have is good right now. I don’t wanna fuck that up by asking too much of him. He might not even like me that way.”

“What makes you so sure? Have you guys talked about it at all?”

“Um, no, not really. But, like, what if it’s bad? What if it’s not what I want?”

Tamara rested her head on his shoulder, her brown curls grazing his cheek.

“You’re never gonna know if you don’t have that conversation. I think you know that. I think your problem is you’re so caught up in the what ifs that you’re psyching yourself out based on somethin’ that may or may not happen.”

“Jeez, you’re right. Again. Why’re you so good at giving all this advice? I feel like I can’t even do anything for you.”

“Aw, honey, don’t say that! You do a lot for me. You’re an incredibly caring person, and I wish you’d see that more. I just talk my shit and try to help. It’s not, like, profound or anything.”

“But you give me advice all the time. I wanna do the same for you.”

“The time’ll come for that I’m sure. For one thing, I haven’t even started on my algebra yet.”

“Tamara! You know that’s due tomorrow!”

“I know, I know! Math is hard, ok?!”

Moses shook his head, “girl, go get that damn textbook and let me help.”

“Ok, ok!”

***

“I’m back!”

Mal sat on the sofa as Moses walked in.

“Hey! Dean and Teeran went out on a date, so it’s just us tonight.”

“Oh, ok.”

Moses plopped down beside him and pulled out his phone, tapping rapidly at the touchscreen.

“Who’re you textin’?”

“My friends. From school, I mean. We keep in touch, but they ain’t here for the summer. Assholes are all on their various vacations.”

“You’re grouchy.”

“Am not! I’ll have you know I’m in a fabulous mood today.”

Mal snorted, “sure, sure!”

“I am! Dickhead.”

Mal nodded mockingly, “ya wanna watch somethin’ with me, princess?”

“Like what, babygirl?”

They smirked at each other.

“A really scary movie.”

“I dunno, do ya think you can handle it? Will I have to comfort you durin’ the bad parts?”

“You might. I’m bad with horror movies, but I love them.”

“What’s your favorite one?”

“Probably Absentia.”

“That one is so dark!”

“I know, but it’s so good!”

“I’m partial to As Above, so Below.”

“God, I’ve only seen that movie once and it scared the crap outta me.”

“That’s the one we gotta watch, then.”

Mal rolled his eyes, queueing up the tv for the movie. As the film played, Moses felt him squeeze his hand. Mal jumped and hollered at several points, much to Moses’ amusement.

“You really weren’t lying.”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“So you’d have an excuse to hold my hand?”

“Well, there’s that, too.”

Moses laughed.

“Hey…do you wanna…”

“Use your words.”

Mal leaned in, his lips brushing against his jawline, nipping at his chin.

“We’re gonna miss the movie…”

“You sound so sad about that.”

Their lips met, taking all the words, all the quips, all the breath away. Moses felt like Mal’s mouth fit perfectly with his every time, and then was no different. He tasted the peppermint gum on his breath, taking in his sweet, intoxicating scent. He ran his hands through his hair as Mal brushed his chest under his shirt. A shiver ran down his spine. Mal smiled, peppering kisses on the bridge of his nose and his cheeks.

“Moses, I need to tell you somethin’. I’m…god, I’m scared.”

Moses pulled away a little, looking into his dark eyes.

“You can tell me. It’s ok.”

“I…I love you. I think..I loved you when I met you.”

They were quiet for a minute.

“Oh god. It was too soon, wasn’t it. I knew I should’ve just-”

“Are you kiddin’ me?”

Moses hugged him, caressing his hair and neck.

“I’m just so relieved. I thought I was the only one who felt that way! Especially with your whole disappearing act.”

Mal nuzzled his chest.

“I’m sorry, I’m always second-guessing myself when it comes to you.”

“It’s the same for me, y’know. I’ve never loved anyone the way I love you.”

Their lips joined again, the sweetness of breath and the hotness of the room and the salt of happy tears unifying in a kiss. After a moment, they pulled away again. Moses smiled shyly.

“I…wanna keep going today. I think I’m ready.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. It’s ok if it’s you. I wanna be with the one I love.”