Read Hard Wired for Love :: Chapter 3: The Start of Summer

We don’t get to sit around a table all that often as a family. Mum and Dad both work, occasionally needing to be in the office rather than at home and Sam is either working or staying with Stacey, his girlfriend. The evening of the day after the party is an exception then, a chance for us all to catch up and check in.

“How is the implant,” Sam asks. “Are you getting used to the whole thing yet?”

“Mostly,” I tell them all. “It is a bit strange to be able to talk to my friends at any time. Nice though. I think I’m only just scratching the surface so far.”

“Yes,” Dad adds. “I remember that it took me most of the summer to get really comfortable with my Nexima. Honestly, I still get caught out sometimes when it does something I didn’t know it could.”

“Well, I have a few weeks now to practice and do my employment research and applications or whatever.” I reply. “I should be an expert with it by the end of summer.”

It is pretty traditional for a student to take the summer after graduation to relax and plan for their future. Most take a break for a few weeks then start to look for a job that they feel they want to start to train for. Apprenticeships are pretty much the normal route, training while working giving economic freedom and further education and training at the same time.

“Still no idea what you want to do?” Mum asks.

“No, not really. I want to take a look at a few different options and see if there’s something that stands out as a good fit for me.” Mum knows that I’m still undecided on the subject of a career, but she has already indicated that she will help in any way that she can.

“How was the party?” Dad asks as we start dessert. “You were home pretty early.”

“Yes, most people were leaving already though. It was as bad as I expected, too loud and too busy. I did get through it, but I don’t think I could take much more than I did.”

“Did everyone else appear to be enjoying themselves?” Mum asks.

“Oh, yes. Tasha and Jack may now be an item and I may have engineered that a bit for Jack.”

“Oh, my son the matchmaker,” Mum beams. “What about you. Did you see anyone you liked?”

“No. Well, I don’t think so.”

“What do you mean, you don’t think so.” Mum asks.

“Actually, I did swop contacts with somebody. We talked for quite a while.”

“Wow, swopping contacts is nice. What are they like?” Mum can be like a dog with a bone sometimes and now she has her teeth bared.

“Well, he was really kind. He walked with me along the promenade when it was clear I was getting stressed.”

“He?” Sam asks as he raises his eyebrow questioningly making me nod slightly in response. “So, do you think you might like him?”

“Actually, I don’t really know. I hardly know him at all. He’s a year older than me and his sister is one of Tasha’s friends. I think she had Sara sent him over to keep me company.” I look down at my plate for a moment to hide my slight blush. “He is very cute though.”

“Don’t worry,” Dad adds. “Love at first sight is a myth. You need to get to know someone before you can realize your feelings for them. Get to know him and it might lead to more. You may just turn out to be great friends. Don’t put any pressure on yourself or on him.”

“I’m not sure I’m looking for love, or anything else for that matter, but a new friend might be nice.” I tell him softly.

“What’s this boy’s name?” Mum asks.

“Peter. His name is Peter. Peter Corlett.”

“Oh, I think his mother works in the council office. They moved from Peel about a year ago. I sometimes need to speak to her about maintenance issues for work.”

“Yes, that might be them. His sister did transfer in at the start of the year.”

“Well, I have to do a bit more work before the end of the day,” Dad mutters. “Just one final piece of advice from me Nick, if I may?”

“Sure Dad, what is it?”

“When someone offers to be a part of your life, in whatever context and however deeply or lightly, don’t let the opportunity go without exploration. Use the contact!”

“Thanks Dad. I think I understand.”

I’m feeling strangely tired, despite – or possibly because of – having such a relaxing day. I head to my room early and drop onto my bed in just my underwear with the lights out. There’s enough light coming in through the blinds, even this late in the day to lend everything a ghostly golden glow.

<Nexima, message Peter Corlett. Say ‘Thanks for keeping me company yesterday. You were a big help.’>

I close my eyes, lying flat on my back in the now slightly cool room, willing myself to relax and breathe easily.

<Nick, voice call from Peter Corlett.>

“Hi Nick. I did wonder if you would get in touch.” Peter begins. “Did you get home safe from the party?”

“Oh, yes thank you. I walked home on my own. Tasha went with Jack. I’m hoping that they will get together. They’d make a great fit for each other and they’re my two best friends.”

“So, how does Nick Quilliam spend his evenings? Video games, television, reading, the gym?”

“None of the above. I’m lying on my bed in my boxers trying to relax because I feel a bit strung out.”

“Strung out? Have you had a stressful day then?”

“Well, not really. I came out to my family tonight. I know it’s not a big deal and, they basically maintained the conversation as if nothing was out of place, just as it should be. I was stressing about it beforehand though. I think it’s inevitable. It points out a direction in your life that’s still different from the norm. Not frowned upon or stigmatized, just different.”

“And, have you been keeping it a secret for some reason?”

“Well, yes, but only because it felt like the only secret I had. I’m not particularly interested in dating, so it really had no need to be a secret.”

“Well, when I came out, my mum and Sara were both really chilled about it as well. Dad, not so much. Unlike you, I was fourteen and had a massive crush on a guy at school who was straight. I got over him when I saw him kissing a girl at the Christmas dance.”

“Well, I’m glad you got over him. Unrequited love must be really painful?”

“Probably, Nick, but I’ve not found the right guy yet. I’ve been on a few dates and done some sexual stuff – enough to make me absolutely sure that I’m gay – but nobody has really resonated yet.”

“Well, Peter, I find it very difficult to meet new people – that social anxiety disorder I mentioned yesterday – and don’t really find myself attracted to people. Tasha suggested that I might be aromatic or possibly partly so. It does seem to fit well with how I often feel. Well, more precisely with how I don’t feel much at all.”

“Right, I was friends with a girl at school who was aromantic. She was asexual as well. Quite a few people didn’t get it, mostly dumb boys who thought they could cure her or something. I had to punch one of them for trying to push things a bit too far.”

“Fuck. Are people still really that naïve?”

“Apparently so. More likely it’s just that some lads are dicks. Some things never change and no society is as enlightened as it believes itself to be.”

“Wow, I’ve met a philosopher!”

“Possibly. More likely just a pessimist.”

“Hey, thanks for calling and taking the time to talk. I do feel a bit more relaxed now. I might even get some sleep tonight.”

“I’m free this Saturday, Nick. Would you like to come out for a walk? Nothing special, but I do enjoy walking around the glens in my free time and the weather should be really nice.”

“Yes Peter, I think I’d like that. Message me with a place and time.”

“I will Nick. Oh, one more thing. Don’t stress about it. We’re just going for a walk. People go walking all the time, for exercise and social interaction.”

“How do you know me so well? Goodnight Peter.”

“Goodnight, Nick. Sleep well.”

So, what have we learned so far today? Firstly, Peter is nice, pessimistic, philosophical and he likes to go for walks at the weekend. Much more importantly, he’s gay and apparently single. He’s also very protective of his friends and may be prone to violent outbursts. That sounds like a bit of a mixed bag, but his being tall, blonde, fit and cute swing the balance quite a long way towards the good side of the scale.

He also knows how to talk to me and he really does help me to relax. I’m pretty calm after our call, despite the strange emotional response that I’m feeling towards him. It’s probably nothing. It’s been a long time since I met a new friend and I’m just taking a little time to adjust, that’s all.

I actually fall asleep with what might be a smile on my face. For what might be the first time ever, I have an intensely erotic dream. The object of my subconscious erotic encounter isn’t exactly Peter, but there’s a certain resemblance and my dream orgasm is both long and intense.

What is less erotic is waking the following morning to discover that my orgasm wasn’t a dream and my sheets are now a mess of sticky semen. I’ve never had a wet dream before and it’s a bit of a shock to get my first one at seventeen. Fuck, my subconscious must be really messed up.

I throw the sheets into the laundry basket and walk into the bathroom naked and a bit sticky, feeling a very strong need for a warm shower.

As if she has some sort of detector on me, I’m barely under the warm water before I get disturbed.

<Nick, voice call from Tash.>

“Hey sleepy. You up yet!”

“Oh, hi Tash. Yes, you always seem to catch me in the shower. You’re not spying on me, are you?”

“Eww, No.” I can almost see the grimace on her features. “Are you busy on Saturday, I thought we might go shopping. I need some stuff for my vacation.”

“Oh shit. Sorry Tash, but I’ve got something else on for Saturday.”

“What, something more important than shopping?”

“Maybe. I’m going for a walk with Peter.”

“What the fuck? You’re going on a date with Peter and that’s only maybe more important than shopping. Are you crazy? Nothing can possibly be more important than a date.”

“No, Tasha, that’s not what I said. I said that I am going for a walk with Peter. It is not a date. I repeat, it’s not a date.”

“No, of course not. If you say it isn’t a date, then it isn’t a date.”

“That’s right. Not a date.”

“Well, I might just have to take Jack shopping with me in your place.”

“Yes, that sounds like a great idea. Model some holiday swimwear for him.”

“Actually, I was going to look for a new two-piece for sunbathing in. That’s not as bad an idea as it sounds.”

“Wow, you’re moving fast.”

“Oh, do you think I’m going too fast, really?”

“No, not if you like him and he likes you.”

“Well, we might have kissed a bit on the way home after the party. Actually, we might have kissed quite a lot on the way home. It’s a five-minute drive.”

“Oh, did the taxi AI have to cough?” I’m not joking, it’s built in to their programming, to keep couples from going too far in a public vehicle. At school, a couple admitting to getting the ‘cough’ is a bit of a rite of passage.

“Fuck off! I thought you were my best friend, but you’re just another really mean teenage boy.”

“Seriously, Tash, I’m really happy for you. The two of you are my best friends. And, about Peter. I don’t think it’s a date, but maybe that’s not how he sees it? Do you think that I should ask him?”

“Whatever it is, Nick, just try and go with the flow.”

“You too. We can catch up on Sunday if you like. Lunch at the usual place?”

“Okay, as long as you are paying. I’ll want all the details.”

“Fine. I’ll want all the details too. Oh, and you buy dessert.”