The summer break, that down time that nobody will begrudge a graduating student, is almost half-way over and I’ve done nothing more than lie around the house or hang out with Tasha and Jack. Well, I have also been out with Peter a couple of times and we have kissed, so there is something to be proud about.

My parents have not yet reached the stage where they are pushing, but they are starting to drop hints about my future plans. The trouble is, nothing really stands out as a job I want to pursue. Don’t misunderstand, I do want to work, I want that financial independence and the other freedoms that go with it. I just don’t know what I want to do.

When my final grades and exam results come through, I know that the questions and gentle pushing is going to start in earnest and I’m pretty apprehensive when Mum is still in the kitchen as I finally make it down for breakfast.

“Morning Nick. How did you sleep?”

“Morning Mum. Fine thanks. Aren’t you usually in the office today?”

“Yes, but I’m heading down just a little later. I just wanted to congratulate you on your final grades. You did very well and we’re both proud of you. You’ve worked hard and now you get to relax.”

“Why do I sense a ‘but’?”

“Well, there is one, but I don’t want to put pressure on you during the summer.”

“You’re talking about finding a job, aren’t you?”

“Yes Nick. I’m really not putting pressure on, I swear, but you will have to start thinking about it soon. Don’t you have any idea what you might like to do in the future?”

“Oh God, I wish I did. I just can’t see anything that I can imagine doing for years to come.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be permanent, but it can be good to at least find something that you have an interest in.”

“Yes Mum. I know I need to come up with something. I just don’t think I can see how any of the things I enjoyed at school can translate into a job that I might be comfortable with.”

“Okay, I understand that. Some people know from an early age what they want to do, but others need to fight to find a path.”

“Yep, that sounds like me.”

“Fine, don’t worry. The worst that will happen is that you’ll have to do some community employment.”

“Oh f… God, I can’t do that. It’s so embarrassing.”

Mum smiles, probably because I almost said fuck. She thinks it’s funny that I only just caught myself. There is a stigma about doing community employment, but it really is unwarranted and actually it wouldn’t hurt me to be made to work for a few weeks or months.

Community Employment grew out of the collision between almost half a century of deep recessions, the pandemics and the aftermath of the conflict with China. Western nations, many of whom had extensive social welfare programmes, began to be unable to pay unemployment benefits as the numbers spiralled.

Community work had long been suggested as a way to help deal with this problem and, in many countries, the continued financial pressure finally made this a reality.

On the Isle of Man, we now have fully funded healthcare, free public transport, free education and an almost 100% employment rate. What we do not have, however, is any form of financial incentive to stay out of work. Most jobs can be for life. If, for whatever reason, you find yourself between jobs, then you can opt to receive nothing from the state and support yourself, or you can be signed up to the Community Employment Programme.

The CEP will find you something to do and you will be paid while you do it. You can do this for as long as you like and, indeed, some people spend their entire working lives within the CEP. The work is menial, simple and generally only minimally rewarding, but it does pay a living wage.

As with people receiving benefits in decades gone by, there is inevitably a slight stigma about needing to participate in the CEP, but it is a reasonable safety net. It’s just one that I don’t feel I should need.

“Anyway, don’t feel pressured,” Mum says, hauling me out of my thoughts. “You have your first VT session today, don’t you?”

“Yes, the therapist is calling at eleven. I’m a bit nervous, but hopeful at the same time.”

“That sounds like exactly the right attitude.” Mum smiles fondly as she tidies away the dishes. “Maybe you should try and chat to the employment opportunities counsellor afterwards, if you feel up to it. They worked well for me.”

“What? You needed help to find your career? But you love your job!”

“Yes, Nick, and that’s the point. I was just like you, but just one short conversation made me see my path so clearly that I couldn’t understand how I missed it for weeks. Call them!”

“Let’s see how the therapy goes first, okay?”

“Yes, of course. Don’t worry about calling them today if you don’t feel up to it later. I know that therapy might be draining. Just make a point to do it before the end of the week. Set a goal for yourself and then try and stick to it.”

“Yes Mum. I do want to find a job. I really do. I’ll try my best to call them today, I promise.”

“That’s all I can ask for. See you later.”

I’ve chosen a nice spot, my favourite chair in the lounge, for my first Virtual Therapy session. I understand why they wait until you get your implant before starting most forms of therapy, but I’ve been waiting for this for years and I’m really anxious.

As eleven o’clock approaches, I lean back in the chair and close my eyes.

<Nick, voice call from Doctor Taylor.>

<Accept the call please, Nexima.>

“Hello?”

“Hello Nick, this is Doctor Taylor, I’m going to be your therapist during these sessions.”

“Hi, Doctor Taylor. Pleased to meet you, well, communicate with you, or whatever.”

“Okay, you’re a bit nervous and that’s understandable. Firstly, please call me Paul. We’re going to talk about very intimate and personal subjects over the coming sessions and I need you to be comfortable with talking to me.”

“Paul, right. Sorry, yes, I am a bit nervous, but also really excited to finally be starting therapy. I’ve had problems for so long.”

“It’s fine, Nick. I’ve gone over your notes and in some ways feel that we need to apologise for delaying this. In an ideal world, anxiety disorders like yours would be managed by intervention as an early teen, but our modern techniques don’t work very well that way and the results can be variable.”

“I understand Paul. Much of it was explained to me when I got my diagnosis and I’ve been struggling through until I got my implant. Now, so much is going on in my life that I need to make progress.”

“Relax Nick. We’ll do everything we can to help with your issues. How much do you know about the process?”

“Only the basics. I talk to you; you talk to me. You tell my implant to do some stuff and it helps!”

“Well, yes. Actually, that’s a pretty good description. Did you make it up yourself?”

“Yes, it’s a distillation of what all the doctors kept telling me.”

“Great. I might use it in the future. Do you mind?”

“No, of course not.”

“Well, as this is a first session, there’ll be no actual Nexima therapy today. Indeed, going forward, you won’t actually know when it is happening, although you might notice each time it does.

“When we talk to each other, during one of these sessions, a Nexima AI listens in and acts like a second therapist. That AI then distils the positives out of our conversation and over the course of one or several nights, pushes the positives back to you while you are sleeping. No person, doctor or otherwise, really knows exactly what is pushed back, but it does work.

“Oh. I didn’t know it was that intrusive. An AI is listening now?”

“Yes Nick. Naturally it is all confidential and nobody will ever know what we discussed. The AI simply works out the best way to manage the positive reinforcement process. It’s incredibly powerful and far more perceptive than a human therapist can ever hope to be. Think of it like having a thousand experts all helping to shape your therapy.”

“That sounds a little overwhelming.”

“Yes, but it really isn’t. It’s just as good as it can possibly be.”

“You said that I might notice, after each treatment?”

“Yes. Many patients report having really nice, positive dreams that they remember the following morning. They also do sometimes complain of tiredness and lethargy that usually goes away after a few hours.”

“And this all works, Paul?”

“Yes, very well. More than 90% of people report a positive outcome after only four sessions. Anxieties are reduced and general mood is improved in almost all cases. It’s by far the best therapy technique ever developed and we don’t need medication in almost all cases.”

“This sounds like a miracle cure!”

“Well, not quite, but, having read your notes, I think it will work for you. Actually, Nick, on the subject of your notes, do you have anything that needs to be updated? Are there any changes in your life?”

“Well, there’s all the stuff you’ll already know because we are talking today. Getting my implant, leaving school, looking for a job.”

“Yes. is there anything else?”

“Well, there are a couple of personal things.”

“It’s okay Nick. You can tell me anything.”

“No, Paul, it’s nothing embarrassing. Actually, it might be quite the opposite.”

“Great. Are you okay to tell me about it?”

“Yes. The first thing is that I’ve just started to identify as gay. I’ve known for a few years, but I never wanted to tell anybody.”

“Well, that sounds very positive. Have you had good reactions from the people you have told?”

“Yes. It’s good to finally be myself.”

“Excellent. Is there another thing?”

“Yes Paul, just one more thing. I’m seeing someone. Dating. He’s very understanding of my anxieties and we’re taking things very slow.”

“You have talked to him about your anxieties?”

“Yes, that’s how we met. He helped me when I was getting anxious at our grad party.”

“Do you have any issues about starting a relationship with him? Anything that worries you?”

“His name’s Peter. Not really. I’m aware that I may be aromantic and we have spoken about it. He is prepared to take all the time that I need to see if I develop feelings for him. Honestly, I think it is working. I like him.”

“Paul, you’re doing great. This is exactly how we need to proceed. You need to be open and honest with me – and the AI – and together we can work through these thoughts and feelings for you.”

“Well, actually, even just talking about it now helps. Thank you, Paul.”

“It’s my job. Just the talking is very good therapy as well. Fifty years ago, it was all we had and it still worked for many people, just very slowly. Our time is nearly up. Is there anything else you want to talk about before we finish?”

“No, I don’t think so. We have a session booked every week at the same time?”

“Yes Nick. I’ve booked us for five sessions, but if either of us feel that more are needed, that can be arranged as we go forward. We’ll probably begin treatments after next week’s session, but we’ll discuss it then.”

“Thank you, Paul. I feel better already.”

“Good. I’ll speak to you in a week’s time. Goodbye Nick.”

“Goodbye Paul.”