Menzi

She is going to drive me crazy, that is one thing for sure. I thought that I would be the one to destroy her, when in fact she is the one that has been driving me crazy. 

I last saw Dineo at Brian's party, where I made a complete fool out of myself in front of Dineo. I never looked at her like that before or even thought of her as my girlfriend, but when I saw her with that guy, it felt like someone had punched me straight in my gut and left me wounded. 

I never had jealousy before, and I never wished to experience it but after just knowing Dineo for a month I can't even picture her with another guy that is not me, just the thought makes my mouth taste sour. 

I ponder about what Brian had said about me and Dineo being friends with benefits. I mean, after all, there is no denying the fact that we have not treated each other as people who are brought together by sex. 

Apart from the night of that club when I saw her sitting at the bar looking out of place with her formal clothes, and besides all that she looked beautiful even though she seemed like she was trying to hide it. 

I knew I had to talk to her, even though she never fit in with all the types of girls I have been with before. 

I guess we were friends who have benefits for a little while, I never thought much of it until now because I didn't want to label whatever me and Dineo have.

It has been a whole week and 4 days since I last talked to her, which is also the longest. I wanted to meet with her, but how will things feel after that night when I acted like she was my girlfriend. 

I rubbed my sweaty hands on my jeans and leaned back on the couch, no girl has ever made me lose my shit like Dineo. 

If it had gone my way I would have punched that guy and probably break his nose and knocked some teeth out of his mouth and that almost makes me nervous, and it is because of one girl. 

I shut the book close and placed it near my side, if someone had told me that in a few weeks I would be caring about a girl I would have straight out laughed at their face, but now it was happening, and I don't even know how to feel about that. 

Every time she is here, I almost don't want her to leave, mostly because she makes me forget about my demons for a little while. I feel free around her, I even laugh more whenever she is around, and the thought makes me nervous. 

It makes me want to pull away from her because I know a lot about abandonment, I know how painful it gets to be left alone, and I am afraid that someday she will leave and leave me broken and I will have to deal with what I had went through when i was a kid all over again and she will leave with no care in the world. 

Yet again I cannot pull away from her no matter how much I try, I just can never seem to pull away from her.