I wanted nothing than to stay here and beg Dineo to at least let me in so that we can talk and let me explain but then I saw that pain in her eyes, I could hear the hurt coming from her voice and I couldn’t bare the thought that it was me, that I was the one who had caused her so much pain.
I turned around with my heavy soul sitting on my shoulders.
With each step I took it broke my heart as I went further and further away from Dineo. I took a deep breath when I got out from the building and stuffed my hands deep in my pockets.
I got inside the car and went back to the hotel and packed my bags there was no reason keeping me here. I did what Brian had asked off me, I managed to close that deal and Dineo well, she made it known that she was done with my sorry ass but can I blame her that much? What did I honestly expect?
It has been 2 months and it is clear that she found herself someone that she wanted, someone who won’t hurt her like I did and that is what I was supposed to do also, I am going to put the whole chapter behind my back and move on, move on like she did.
I threw my bag at the backseat and sped off, at this point I didn’t care that the car was rented and I was taking it to another province, Brian would take care off it.
I sped, I need to think and let go off steam. I need to drive off my pain that when I get back at Gauteng I would not be this hurt. I did not care that I was driving above the speed limit, I wanted the thoughts in my head to quiet down and allow me to think for a second.
“It was your fault.” my mother said holding an electric cable “It is all your fault.” She said making me straighten my arms as she beat me and the whooshing sound landed straight on my arms making a perfect straight line on both my arms cutting through some of my flesh. I bite through my tongue refusing to cry like I always did. “I lost everything because of a useless son like you.” And another beating came and another until my arms went numb. My mother sat down on her chair and ate her food “Because of you I lost a man who loved me. I lost a perfect life because I got pregnant. I should have aborted you.” The words no longer cut as deep as they did.
The treatment continued for a couple of more months until one day my mother left and never came back, she left me alone and I foolishly believed that she will come back but then weeks turned into months and she never did.
In two and a half hours I found myself in Pretoria, the thoughts in my head still swirling in my head. I parked the car outside my place and went inside. The room felt so cold as I walked in, I did not bother taking out my clothes as I laid on my bed.
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