I really liked your changes, dude. Managed to walk the line between Scott being in wrong but redeemable - and focused more on his problems/character arc than on the situation present. Really well done!
Also, mentioning the older actions as bad thoughts was a good way to keep the weight, and not just delete his bad traits (also, it's cool in a meta way)
The hands "touching" trough the stall was a very good visual (if it was in the older version, sorry ADHD, but it really fit the tone now)
Overall, I think it's a nicer, and more polish, version of the story, and I am very proud of you! I hope it wasn't too hard on you to make it
Best wishes, take care!
[UPDATES: Mondays 11AM PST]
hockey hoodies & hangover hickeys
Genres:
⦁Comedy ⦁Drama ⦁Sports ⦁Slow Burn Romance ⦁Slice of Life
Subjects:
◆Ice Hockey ◆Violence ◆LGBT+ ◆Mental Health
After years of developing unhealthy coping strategies, Carter tries to unpause his life and make a comeback as a center, for the Renhain Deers. But his past and bad habits seem to always catch up to him and his personality and impulsiveness make it hard to fit into a construct like a team. Or friendship. Or love?
(For a mature audience. Please check the CW episode first before reading!)
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