Ethan held up his phone, staring at his last few messages with Chris. As Ethan walked down the hall, he looked over conversations and exchanges that had finished hours ago, laughing at jokes he’d already read. It seemed like a pretty pathetic practice, but Ethan knew that he wouldn’t be speaking to Chris until late in the evening, so he tried to enjoy what he had until then. This was also a good way to avoid speaking to people that he wasn’t close with. Ethan was amazing at making ‘friendly acquaintances’ and they often wanted to wave or stop and chat in the mornings. Ethan, however, just wasn’t feeling like being stopped and forced to smile when he didn’t care. 

He did usually care when he spoke to people, he just didn’t care right now. 

Ethan got to Aiden’s locker and found him rushing to put some books in his bag and zip the heavy thing up. Ethan slipped his phone into his back pocket, frowning in confusion.

“What’s going on?” Ethan asked hesitantly. Aiden jumped, turning to Ethan with a quick, flustered smile.

“Hey, Ethan!” Aiden said before turning back to his work. He finally got his bag zipped up and slung it over his shoulder. Then, he looked at Ethan again. “I just came to get my things before I met up with Aaron.”

“Aaron,” Ethan repeated, the name more of a sigh than anything else. As if he hadn’t just said the name himself, Aiden lit up like a Christmas tree when Ethan said it.

“Yeah, he wanted to see me before class and I wanted to see him too because it sucks to wait until 4th to talk to him, you know?”

Ethan didn’t know. Chris didn’t talk to him at all. Still, Ethan nodded, making Aiden’s smile widen as he spoke.

“Okay, well, I’ll see you later, alright?”

Aiden turned and left before Ethan could respond. 

Ethan’s shoulders dropped and he fell back against the lockers. He could have done this earlier, making his annoyance and feelings on the matter obvious, but he decided to let Aiden feel better about his decision to leave. Ethan was a supportive friend and supportive friends congratulated their friends on new relationships. Supportive friends didn’t complain that their friend (who they were trying to support) was not spending as much time with them.

Ethan would not be that person who complained.

But, he would be that person who sulked a little. He couldn’t help it. In the past couple of weeks, he and Aiden went from the Sprouse twins to the Cyrus sisters. They went both working in the business, taking in the world and fame together, to having Miley, famous and successful, leave Noah—the one no one knew existed—at home.

Ethan frowned as the comparison came to mind, but he could not deny that it was true. He and Aiden used to talk all day and make plans to hang out on Saturday, Sunday, and at least three times during the week. 

Last Saturday, Aiden had a date with Aaron and slept over at his place so the entirety of Sunday was spent with the two of them in the Tyler mansion. He and Ethan didn’t meet up at all during the week, but Ethan did see a couple of posts on both of their accounts about trips to coffee shops and Bubble Tea places. 

“I’ll see you later, alright?”

Ethan wasn’t sure exactly when he would. Aiden had started going out for lunch or eating at Aaron’s table. So, the only time that Ethan and Aiden could speak to one another during the week had been before school and Aiden just decided to spend that time with Aaron as well.

Ethan raised his head and looked around the hall. He saw students moving up and down the halls, a few opening and closing their lockers, and the rest in clumps, talking with their friends. Ethan suddenly felt so lonely and isolated, he could practically see the wall that separated him from his peers. 

I am alone

With his hunched figure and lifeless expression, Ethan knew that phrase was tattooed across his forehead. No label had ever felt more accurate which added to Ethan’s sadness. Ethan dragged his feet all the way to the bathroom. It was there that he spent his early morning, wasting time until class began.

—————

Chris

You seem quiet

Ethan

Really?

Chris

Yeah

whats wrong?

Ethan paused, staring at the bright screen in front of him silently. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond to that question. He’d thought, maybe assumed, that Chris wouldn’t be able to pick up his emotions over text. Maybe his word choice had been enough, or maybe Chris was just that attentive. Either way, Ethan was suddenly here, having to figure out what to say to the guy that was part of the problem.

What’s wrong is that you won’t talk to me unless it’s through a screen and I just want to see your face when I make you laugh.

Ethan wouldn’t tell Chris this, and this wasn’t completely true. The . . . situation with Chris was making Ethan upset, but the thing that had caused his plummet in mood was Aiden’s distance.

Ethan wondered if it was okay for him to talk about it. It was something that could possibly violate the best friend code, complaining about your best friend to your crush. But, Chris was his friend too, Ethan reminded himself. This could be complaining about your best friend to your other friend.

Ethan cringed at the thought. 

That still didn’t sit right with him.

He stared down at Chris's question, chewing at his bottom lip. Then, he remembered that Chris was super close friends with Aaron. If they were super close, Chris was probably getting the same treatment that Ethan was getting.

It would simply be two friends complaining about how their friends were being an annoying couple. 

That isn’t bad at all

Ethan started typing out his message, trying to be careful about how he put it.

Ethan

Nothings wrong per se

Chris

but . . .

Ethan

But, Aiden’s been spending a ton of time with Aaron

Chris

He talks about Aaron too much?

Ethan

He cant tell me about Aaron if hes not around

Chris

what?

Ethan

I never see him anymore but when we do talk, yeah, all he talks about is Aaron

Chris

That must be really annoying

Ethan

Yeah, it is

Ethan saw that Chris was going to respond, but he suddenly didn’t want to talk anymore. Chris's messages were usually his escape, but now he was simply reminding Ethan of issues he already had. Ethan didn’t want to face this problem, he just wanted to forget

Ethan

Sorry my moms calling me

Ttyl

Ethan flipped his phone over, letting it turn off on its own. He willed Chris to not respond and simply let him have his lie. 

—————

Ethan had his earbuds in and his eyes closed, waiting for the piercing sound of the bell to alert him that class would begin. He wasn’t in as bad of a mood as yesterday, he could acknowledge that he wasn’t alone in the world and people did like him. But, he still wasn’t up to seeing friends chatting happily when he still hadn’t seen his best friend.

So, shutting out the world dealt with that perfectly.

He was humming softly to an Amine song, bopping his head to the bass, when he felt a hand press onto his shoulder. Ethan’s eyes shot open, wondering who was trying to bother him. One could imagine how shocked he was when he found the dark, chocolate-toned hand leading up to Chris's softly smiling face.

Ethan sat up suddenly, ripping his earbud so quickly it was nearly painful.

“Hey,” Chris smiled the gentle look in his eye so familiar yet unfamiliar at the same time. Ethan hadn’t spoken to him in weeks, yet he knew Chris so much better than he did before. 

Ethan’s lips curled up into a smile, hesitantly.

“Hi.”

Chris's eyes floated across Ethan’s face and his smile wavered for a moment. Clearing his throat, Chris tucked his hands into his pockets. Ethan clenched his left fist against his lap. He didn’t want to show how he missed Chris's contact now that his warm hand wasn’t pressed against his shoulder.

“Um, I noticed you were in here earlier than usual,” Chris commented. Ethan was surprised to hear that Chris had noticed. Chris paid attention to him that much? “Aiden’s still spending his mornings with Aaron?”

Ethan’s hesitant smile widened further, and he nodded his head.

“Yeah,” Ethan replied, an airyness to his voice that brought Chris chills. “Yeah, I just thought I’d wait out the morning until class started. I have nothing else to do.”

Chris looked at the seat in front of Ethan, grinning when he noticed it to be empty. Sliding into the seat with an ease only athletes had, Chris shot a cheeky grin Ethan’s way.

“You mind if I wait it out with you?”

Ethan bit his bottom lip and took Chris in for a moment. He acknowledged the taller man’s dark skin, wide nose, and full lips. Ethan had been hoping and wishing for Chris to talk to him for weeks. Now that the chance was finally here, Ethan was happy to take it.

“Sure,” Ethan replied, a bright look in his eyes. “It would be my pleasure.”

The feeling of elation that traveled through Chris's chest was unlike any other. As he and Ethan talked in person for the first time in weeks, he mentally berated himself. He knew that he had kept his distance and avoided talking to Ethan since they got back.

He had the best time getting to know Ethan that weekend in Muskoka. His very first thought had been seeking Ethan out so they could continue where they left off. When Chris dropped Ethan off, he felt as if there was still so much more to be said.

But, when he saw Ethan in class the next morning, the butterflies fluttering around in his stomach made themselves known and a burst of fear came upon him. 

Chris was in no way disillusioned about what his feelings meant. They were familiar to him yet foreign in their intensity. Chris knew that when he spoke with Ethan, a silly grin always made its way onto his face.

But, he wondered if there were more signs that could expose his feelings. Chris suddenly feared that if he talked to Ethan, it would be clear as day that he didn’t look at him the way he looked at his other friends.

This fear was heightened when Chris looked back at his friends in first period. Because they were all in the same class, his friends could directly compare the way he acted around Ethan with the way he acted around them. It would be way too obvious that I like him. Chris thought. 

Chris was turning away from Ethan before he realized what he’d done. Every day Chris came back to that moment where he considered saying something. Every day he chose to say nothing. But every night Ethan would be funnier and cuter and Chris was losing his mind in the duality of it all.

But, his breaking point had been to see that Ethan just wasn’t responding the way he usually did. His messages were dry and listless and he took so long to respond. Ethan usually typed exactly what he thought but last night, Ethan was filtering himself. Chris couldn’t bear to see Ethan so upset.

So that morning, when he saw Ethan sitting there, kept away from the world, Chris wanted to bring him back. Chris wanted the handsome smiling Ethan that he knew to come back. And the next thing he knew, his hand was pressed against Chris's shoulder.

Chris couldn’t fear what others may think. He couldn’t worry about what Ethan might figure out. Right here, right now, with Ethan is what mattered. Chris would do well to remember that.

When Chris's friends made their way into class, they were surprised to find Chris sitting with Ethan Sterling. They called Chris' name and waved him over to their cluster of seats, but Chris simply sent them a nod before turning back to Ethan.

“You going over to talk to them?” Ethan asked, smiling curiously at Chris's actions. Chris shook his head.

“Nah, I’ll catch up with them later.”

Ethan couldn’t hide his wide smile. Chris had chosen him.