Villainesses Have More Fun

Chapter 10

“My backside hurts from riding in this carriage,” I complained.

Becky nodded in agreement. “No matter how grand the carriage, the ride will always be unpleasant, won’t it?”

The majority of the time, women had to ride in constricting gowns, and the rough journey on the unpaved road didn’t help. I’d rather spend twenty-four hours driving down the highway in an old pickup truck.

“The carriage’s design is quite elegant, but why has the stability of the ride never been improved upon?” I asked. “It’s quite inconvenient when you’re dressed in a gown.”

Riding in a carriage like this would be agonizing for anyone, not just women. However, it’s excruciatingly difficult to sit upright to avoid creasing the dress during the bumpy journey.

“That is an excellent question, my lady,” Becky said. “Perhaps it’s because noblewomen must always be ladylike, or because they must keep their dissatisfaction to themselves.”

“What kind of nonsense is that? Are women not human beings?” I scoffed. “If something is uncomfortable, we should say so. Only by speaking out about our grievances can the world be changed.”

I’m telling you, ordinary complaints are what propel the world forward.

Becky gave a wistful smile. “I am afraid you may be the only one who thinks that way, my lady.” Her voice was gentle.

Becky might be right. In this world, a woman’s status is often defined by how ladylike she appears, and those who don’t measure up are scorned. I don’t understand why they keep their grief and outrage bottled up and then pour it upon others.

I suppose it’s similar in Korea, where people must keep up with the relentless rat race. It’s always a competition to see who has the best life. Who’s the best dressed, the fittest, the most qualified, and has the best dating life. Everyone has their own definition of happiness, and yet we’re forced to live lives devoid of leisure or pleasure. I guess it’s the same no matter where you go. Still, I can’t stand discomfort. Ugh, my buttocks!

The ride made me feel sick. I was looking out the window, hoping to relieve my nausea, when my gaze fell upon two familiar figures.

Is that who I think it is? There was a handsome man and a petite girl with wavy pink hair.

“Look over there, Becky!” I gestured to the window.

Becky turned her head. “What are we looking at, my lady?”

“That pink hair!”

And that handsome gentleman. Was he a supporting male lead the entire time? Just how many men have you hooked with your fishing rod, Iris? Is this whole empire your damn fishing pond or what? What pheromones did the author bless the female lead with? Sharing is caring, you know. Leave some for the rest of us.

Sir Cassion, of the rakishly handsome good looks, had his hands full of paper bags as if returning home from the market. Iris was rushing alongside him, trying to keep pace with him. Cassion’s expression isn’t particularly affectionate. I’m guessing he hasn’t succumbed to the female lead’s buff yet.

The carriage sped past them. I sat still, deep in thought. Cassion was in the company of Iris, a girl adored by all kinds of capable men. Is he really just an ordinary knight?

* * *

“Why the hell is there meat on your plates?” the man shouted, flipping over the small dining table. He panted as he grabbed Mom by her hair.

“Please. Sojin fainted from malnutrition, remember? She’s been studying so much that she’s exhausted,” Mom said with a whimper.

“Studying? What use does a young woman like her have for all that studying, huh? Wasting our money on a goddamn hospital bill, that’s what.” He huffed. He kicked the dining table that had fallen on its side over and over, never relaxing his grip on Mom’s hair. “We should’ve thrown her into a f*cking factory after she graduated from middle school.”

I was sitting on the floor, clutching my spoon tightly, as unmoving as a statue. I was terrified. Afraid of being hit. Afraid that if I disobeyed him, he would force me to work in a factory before I finished high school.

“You’ve had your fun in school. Now you need to find a good man and settle down. It’s time for you to contribute to this family,” he said. “And don’t even think about college.”

The door in the living room swung open. My younger brother poked his head out. “What’s with all the noise? I’m trying to study here,” he said. His hair was disheveled. He had clearly just woken up from a nap. Meanwhile, I was being castigated for eating some of his leftover meat.

“Oh, Woojin, you were studying? Don’t worry about us. Just be a man and go back inside to study, all right?”

“Pft, yeah right. My concentration is totally broken. I’m going outside to get some fresh air.”

“Take some cash with you. A man’s pockets should never be empty.”

“But I don’t have any money. Can I have some pocket money, Dad?”

He finally let go of Mom’s hair. He reached into his pocket for his wallet and pulled out a few ten thousand won bills, then placed them in Woojin’s hands. He’d never given me pocket money in my life.

Woojin walked out of the house. The man clicked his tongue and, with one last kick to the dining table, marched into the master bedroom.

Mom looked at me. “I’m sorry, Sojin. I’m really sorry.” She held her breath and covered her mouth with her hands.

I released the breath I had been holding and finally stuffed the rice on my spoon into my mouth. I chewed and chewed some more. Then I looked down at the food on the ground. It was such a waste, especially since it meant I’d be going to bed without dinner.

I felt powerless in front of him. I was terrified. I was scared. I didn’t want to get hurt, but I couldn’t run away. He insisted that he was protecting us, that we had to live under his protection.

Will I be able to live on my own when I’m an adult? When I’m no longer a child, I won’t need anyone else to protect me, right?

“My beautiful daughter. My daughter, who has the willpower to work tirelessly. I’m sorry I can’t do anything to help you,” Mom said.

I righted the small dining table, setting it back onto its legs. I gathered the strewn side dishes and plastic containers.

We had a nice dining table, but I’d never eaten at it. We had nice glass tableware, but I’d never used it. He told me I couldn’t because I’d been born a daughter instead of a son.

“Don’t apologize, Mom. I’m just grateful to have you,” I said. “Wait until I turn 20. Then I’ll move out and you can live your life however you want. I’m sorry.”

I know. I know that Mom is an adult and doesn’t need someone else’s protection. She’s only enduring the pain to keep me safe. She says she can’t help me, but it’s her who has been putting up with him for the past eighteen years for my sake. She’s chained up because of me.

I looked out the kitchen window. The view was not of bright sunlight, but of the sidewalk outside and people’s feet walking past.

“I’m going to keep my nose to the grindstone, Mom. I’m going to work like hell. Someday I’m going to live alone and rely on no one but myself,” I said.

I stared at the iron bars on the window. I felt imprisoned in this semi-basement apartment. This horrible house where I’d lived my whole life.

This house where I was trapped. I should never have been born, at least not in a hellhole like this. My childhood dream was to escape this place. To protect myself, I was determined to succeed. If I was at the top, no one could trample on me the way he did.

I opened my eyes. Slowly, I took a look around. It wasn’t the semi-basement apartment I’d shared with my family, nor was it my home, the one I lived in alone. I was in an opulent European-style room. A bedroom fit for a duke’s daughter.

“That was scary,” I murmured.

It was still dark outside. I sat up in bed and hugged my knees. I felt relieved to be in this strange room and not to have awoken to reality. What had happened in my dream had occurred more than ten years before, but the pain was still fresh.

I pretended to be confident and proud as if I was rising above other people, but some part of me was still half-buried in that semi-underground hellhole.

How much longer until the mask I wear becomes my real self? I’m still afraid of him. How in the world did you do it, Mom? And why did you abandon me without a word? I miss you.

“I didn’t expect to be grateful to wake up in another dream,” I said to myself. I wanted to cry but couldn’t. I hadn’t cried since my mother left me. She’d made me promise to live confidently and I had to keep my word.

As soon as the sun came up, Becky opened the door to Reilynn’s room. Reilynn’s face was buried in her knees, which she clutched tightly.

“What’s wrong, my lady?” Becky asked.

Reilynn raised her head and gave Becky a smile that sat awkwardly on her face.

She had never seen Reilynn make that expression before. Did she have a nightmare? She let out a sigh. Then she thought, Instead of faking a smile, I wish you would just shed all your tears and leave it behind you.