Drowning a flower? That was too easy.  

It's because watching each drop absorb into the soil or roll over the yellowed petals was mesmerising. So he'd pour too much water, wanting to give more, to watch such a sight for a little longer. Overdoing it was such an easy mistake to make, you know, because he had so much to give. 

And it wasn't like he ever seized what he loved by the throat. He never crammed his fingers inside them, packing in everything he ached to give. He was simply sincere. More sincere than anyone else. 

If only Alena Tarasov spared him just another glance or lingered just a moment longer in his company, then he'd be able to pour all this crippling anxiety out of his chest. Then it'd be a blessing that he was riddled with cracks. That way, he couldn't overflow and drown her. No, no, he'd keep his fingers blunt and light, and be so very careful.

But behind him, oh, there was surely a bloodied trail of everything he couldn't hold onto. 

But wasn't he already very lucky? Blessed, even. 

Because he could wear any face he wished. By running fingers over his cheeks, he could change every contour. His eyes could be any colour. Sure, he couldn't grow new limbs, but such a thing would be pointless. It was enough to be able to change the pitch of his voice, his height, and whether he had dimples or not. To wear any face meant he could be everything to her. 

Of course, living like such a stranger made life indescribably lonely. That was probably why he'd tried to end it. He would've succeeded, too, though there wouldn't have been a second he wasn't wishing to be saved. 

And she had. She'd saved him. 

He could've waited his entire life for her on bloodied knees. He could've stomached anything, just to know her once. 

So he hadn't thought twice about it yesterday, taking a stone to his face. Taking his own throat in a steel grip and squeezing. If seeing him as pitiful made her stay, made her see him, then he'd clutch that stone for the rest of his life. 

He'd tighten his grip.

He'd stand on the edge of any bridge. However many times it took.