Delicious warmth flooded my body as I knocked back another cup of sake. It rested on my fingers, the cool ceramic at odds with the heat the sake brought. My server was a young man with a face as flushed as my own. I’d poured for him only twice, but I always served the strongest sake here, even the smallest cup could drown humans into a deep drunkenness. He’d done well keeping my own cup topped up each time I emptied it. Usually by now I’d have to do it myself.

“Would you like me t’pour for you ’gain?” he slurred, body swaying.

“Please,” I said bowing my head slightly. “Although I feel you have finally reached your limit now, my friend.”

“No, no, ’f course not.”

I laughed. I could tell he was trying to keep up with me, but his drinking would never best mine. I was, after all, the goddess of sake. The most I ever found myself was flushed and tipsy. Sometimes I envied that humans managed to be so merry with alcohol they just passed out there and then.

“Sato-san, if you don’t stop now I fear you’ll pass out here on the tatami before you return to your room.”

He leant in closer, “ahh, but that means I’d sleep in your company ’til you leave a poor man such as m’self on his own.”

Sato-san’s breath smelt strong of the sake we’d been drinking all evening, and yet... something more. Something rotten. I smiled and glanced away. Sato-san’s life was in the balance, but he didn’t know it. Blind to the growing rottenness inside his chest, a blackness that would take each breath away until he gasped for life. I’d seen it before. This is why Sato-san had come to me, without realising it. His devotion had lead him to this very room, where I had a choice. And I certainly couldn’t help every person; I wasn’t even supposed to interfere this much. Humans had to learn to cure illnesses by themselves.

I took Sato-san’s warm hands in mine and held them tight. “I won’t leave you alone.”

He stared into my eyes and nodded. I would save this one. I shouldn’t but…

The tiniest mote of energy passed between our hands, heading for his chest. He would still suffer the illness somewhat, but he’d survive. And in the meantime he could stay here where it was safe and warm. I wasn’t about to save his life for him to wander out in the snow and lose it so soon.

I could hear Ukemochi’s voice in my mind, berating me once they found out what I had done again. It wasn’t our place to interfere so much, we weren’t supposed to and yet… how could I not? All these lives like bright stars, creating a life, gone in a blink. Their fourty-fifty-rarely-sixty years just a grain of rice next to the everlasting length of a god. So what I gave him another ten years to live? Those could be his happiest years.

He wouldn’t know it was me, I never gave myself away. I was careful enough. He would only know my comfort and safety. Only the best for my devoted.

Sato-san smiled. “One last drink, in the company of the most beautiful woman.”

I laughed again. “Alright, you flirt, one last cup.”

My fingers wrapped around the ceramic tokkuri and I lifted it to pour sake into his last cup. Clear sake rose to the rim and Sato-san brought it to his lips.

“Kampai. Blessed is Inari who made us such a wooonderful drink.”

“Kampai, Sato-san,” I said quickly lifting my empty cup.

He drained the sake instantly, with a bright smile across his face as he savoured the taste. I was glad to see him so happy.

Behind us, the shoji door slid open. “I’m sorry for the intrusion,” a light voice called. “There is a new man in the entrance.”

“Oh?” I placed my cup back down on the low wooden table before patting Sato-san’s arm. “I’ll be back to keep you company soon. Why don’t you sleep for now?”

  He almost complained, until he glanced down at the tatami and gave in. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

Standing, I straightened out my kimono and turned to the door. A short lady stood there, waiting for me. Ayaki. Her black hair reached her shoulders, covering a red puckered scar across her neck. She’d fallen from a tree as a child, catching sharp branches as she fell. Her mother had prayed all day and night for her to live and I’d shown pity. Now all grown up, I assured her work and a room all to herself, for a small price.

I saved that one too. Ukemochi had poisoned my food in return, angry at me. However, my stomach was used to the poisons now, and I’d only felt bloated the next day. They vowed to stab me next time instead. Such a wonderful wife I had.

“Please lead the way,” I said to Ayaki.

She turned, black fox tail bobbing against her light blue kimono. Just like every other person working here in my sanctuary, she was a kitsune. I didn’t think it was much to ask for, I saved their life after all.

Despite the neverending amount of sake I’d consumed, my legs walked down the plain hallway with perfect steadiness. Out here was cooler than the stifling room with Sato-san. Cold air filtered through from the main shoji door which sat wide open, sharing a view of snow. Winter was always difficult for many people, and this time of year I found more and more people wandering in for help. I’d lost count of how many had, bowing their heads low. Most I let stay for a drink and some warmth before sending them away. A respite wasn’t against any rules, even if Ukemochi rolled their eyes at my antics.

Each of them had prayed to me for help, and I would offer it in some way. This place was sacred, nobody set foot here without prayer. I made sure of that a long time ago, after the homeless started to fill every room.

Ayaki stopped at the main entrance and bowed to the newcomer. A short man, still quite young; he faintly smelt of smoke and had a haunted look to his eyes.

“Irasshaimase,” I greeted. I may be a goddess, but I’d still use human customs to welcome customers. “It’s a cold evening, please come in.”

He bowed but stayed quiet. Torn on whether he should be here, perhaps? Never mind, sake always got it out of them.

So what do you want me to answer, my friend?

*

The evening had been the coldest yet. Snow fell heavily now and big flakes stuck to my grey kimono. I’d slipped inside the building as quick as I could, thankful for even the tiniest bit of warmth. It had been surprising finding the entrance, as I’d never seen it before. A grand entrance sat between a row of wooden machiya. The townhouses had withstood all manners of weather and even an earthquake without issue. It was if the gods had built them.

  “Irasshaimase,” came the warm voice of the owner. She stood bathed in the glow of lamplight and I lost my voice. “It’s a cold evening, please come in.”

“Yes,” chuckled the woman next to her. “Don’t stand here in the entrance.”

The second woman wore a blue that brought more warmth, not cold, and her kimono pattern betrayed her wealth. Both of them wore the most complicated patterns, beautiful and breathtaking.

Where am I? I don’t have the money for… this.

“Would you like to join me for a cup of sake?”

I averted my eyes. I shouldn’t be here. “I… I h-have the wrong…”

“Certainly not,” she continued, voice pulling me closer. “Nobody comes here by mistake. Please join me for some sake, and we’ll find out why you are here.”

The second woman nodded. “Go with Ina-san,” she encouraged. “Don’t worry about anything.”

I let out a soft sigh. Maybe there was no harm in going with her. I was curious about this place at the very least.

Slipping off my shoes, I stepped up onto the hallway and the owner slid her arm under mine and held it.

“Follow me, I have many guest rooms here. You can pick whichever one you like.”

Together we stepped down the hall, stopping at each doorway. Ina-san showed me wide rooms filled with merry people, and other women in blue kimono. In one, a man slept on the floor, happily snoring away. Eventually we came to an empty room.

“Let’s try this one,” she said, gesturing inside. “It’s one of my favourites.”

As I stepped in the scent of pine trees hit me, and a wave of emotion hit me. It reminded me of home, wandering the forest, being alone and surrounded by many trees. The city could never offer me that.

Ina-san plucked a cushion from beside the wall and offered it to me. “Zabuton?”

“No, thank you.” I still wasn’t used to the finer things, and didn’t know the etiquette of sitting on them. I wasn’t going to embarrass myself now.

Taking one for herself, Ina-san placed it down next to the low table and knelt on it sideways, expertly avoiding messing her kimono and keeping the silk perfect. I lowered myself to the soft tatami opposite her, glancing around the room and admiring the obvious wealth Ina-san had. A painted screen sat in the corner glittering gold and red.

“So, what can I do for you, my friend?”

How was I to answer that? I wasn’t even sure what led me here in the first place. All I was doing was praying to Inari for some guidance, some help to deal with all the things. I needed strength to keep going, to find someone else to mentor me. I exhaled deeply. How was this woman supposed to help me? I didn’t want money alone, nor did I want someone to just give me money. The best things in life were those you worked for.

But I also needed to answer her, and the longer I stayed quiet, the worse a guest I came across. I wasn’t ignoring her.

“Truthfully, I am not quite sure why I am here.” I started, hoping it was an answer enough. “Just that I felt… called here. That sounds strange I know but…”

“If you felt this, then you are definitely in the right place.” Ina-san smiled and I felt some of my anxieties wash away. “Why don’t you start by telling me your name and all about yourself.”

My name? I hadn’t even told her that? My behaviour was awful. I was being an awful guest.

“Sumimasen, sumimasen,” I apologised while bowing my head. “I should have introduced myself already. Please forgive me.”

Ina-san chuckled and I wanted to die inside.

I kept my head low. “My name is Hirotoshi Aoi. I am a blacksmith here in the city. I’ve lived here for about a year now, and my hometown is a village deep in the forest. I came here first with my father. H-He left. It was too much for him… without my mother. So I’ve been working the forge with my master. But he, he, um.” I took a deep breath. “There was an accident. He didn’t make it.”

The memory came back to me now, the feel of heat licking my bare skin. Clang, clang, clang. Metal being struck over and over as our hammers fell. Thump, thump, thump. The ground being struck over and over as bricks fell. He had said it was safe, that the earthquake hadn’t damaged the forge…

I scrunched my eyes up. I didn’t want to cry again.

Ina-san’s fingers caressed the side of my face and she lifted my chin to face her. My cheeks flushed at such an intimate touch.

“You’ve been through a lot, Aoi-san.” Her dark eyes stared deep into mine, full of kindness. “You’ve seen a lot of death of those close to you.”

My heart lurched as her guess hit true. I was alone here now. Drowning in a city full of people knowing what to do. It was easier in the village, and I missed it so much. But there wasn’t enough money to be made. The village had only gotten smaller as I grew older.

“But you’ve always been strong. I sensed that from you a long time ago.”

I paused. What did she mean?

“I want you to stay here, Aoi-san, in safety and warmth. Here you can grieve your master without fear of needing money until you are ready again.”

“It’s my father who needs it.”

“Then we shall help him too.”

I stared at her. Who was she that she could offer so much?

Ina-san laughed. “You don’t remember me, do you? I suppose you’ve never seen me like this so it makes sense.” She reached up to my face again and cupped my cheek. “Which shrine did you pray at?”

My face flushed deeper and I stared at the table. I’d never been touched like this before. “I-Inari’s. I have my own shrine in my room. I always pray to Inari.”

“And who do you think I am?”

My eyes returned to hers and I found myself back as a child, running through the forest soaked through, feet bleeding, followed by a raijuu. Later I’d fought two, wet hand gripping my new blade tightly, screaming for them to leave me alone…

“You impressed me, back then, standing against two raijuu and the god Raijin himself. He wasn’t amused after that, and struck the land harder with bright bolts. He always throws tantrums like that when he doesn’t get his way.”

You…

She couldn’t be.

The blood drained from my face.

“I saw something special in you, the child of misfortune who begged me to save him. You didn’t need my help after all.”

“I… Inari?”

The woman before me nodded, and leant closer. “But don’t tell anyone. Few know the truth, and I just go by Ina instead.”

All I could do was stare. How could this be Inari? And I was just sat here with her, as if she was any other woman.

“You look like you could do with some sake,” she said, plucking a pair of cups from her wide kimono sleeve. “I serve only the finest here.”

I barely noticed as she placed them down and poured from a tokkuri brought out from who-knows-where. My eyes stayed firmly on her, still trying to process that she was Inari. The goddess I had spent my whole life praying to, the goddess I had begged to save my mother, the goddess I held closest to my heart.

She brought the ceramic cup to her lips as she sipped at the sake, watching me with obvious amusement.

“Aren’t you going to drink?”

“Inari-sama, I…”

“Lost your voice?” She poured herself another cup and drank it. “I normally can’t stop you talking to me. Or would it help if I switched to a more familiar form? A certain samurai that saved you.”

“B-Betsugi-sama? But that means—”

“Yes, I was there, under the tree as Akitsura Betsugi for a short while. He’s renamed himself Dousetsu Tachibana now, in fact. Certainly making a name for himself on my actions. It was me who killed the raijuu, not him. Nevertheless, I came to protect you, little samurai. The only way I knew how.”

Tears came to my eyes and I buried my face in my hands to hide them. How did I not know all this time?

“How come you never said anything? If only I had known I would have treated you better,” I said, my voice coming out quieter and more choked than I wanted. I wasn’t going to cry in front of Inari.

“Exactly, little samurai,” she soothed and placed a warm hand on my arm. “You would have never learnt how to stand up on your own and become a warrior. But you did. I saw into your heart and you just needed a little guidance. And now look at you. Everything I hoped you’d become.”

I pulled away. “What do you mean by that? I’m alone, far from home, and barely have coins to survive.”

“And yet you have a kind heart, and a strength well beyond your years. And now I call upon your help.” Inari reached for my hand, and squeezed it tight. “You’ll help me, won’t you? Or has the world stolen that young boy that relied on my help?”