My heart was ready to pound right out of my chest. I already sent out the message to Mystery Man. But ever since then, the realization of what I would have to do has been driving me close to insanity, and completely into panic. I have been talking to this guy for a few months now but we had never officially discussed how we felt about each other, or even relationships in general. But now I was confessing that the entire time that I had been talking to this guy; I have secretly been wanting him to hold me and touch me like a lover would.

I groaned out of frustration and embarrassment when the thought hit me. God, I was a mess. But that was really how I felt. I have always respected Mystery man and have valued his friendship tremendously. But from the first moment I heard his voice, I wanted him as something much more. Groaning again, I flopped my face into my blanket, no longer being able to look at my phone. 

I was currently in my room, on my phone, trying to distract myself from what would happen in just a few hours. I would have to leave for dinner soon and after I ate, I would go to the woods and- ugh- meet with Mystery Man. I really wondered if I would be able to last the next couple of hours if I could barely think about Mystery Man anymore.

At that moment, the door slid open and I saw Warlo walk into the room. Warlo smiled happily at me and sat next to my body on my bed.

"Hey Sebastian, dinner's about to start. Let's go." Warlo told me kindly. I looked up at him with the one eye that wasn't squished into the covers, still unmoving from my position. Warlo's smile instantly dropped and he used both hands to shake me violently. "Come on! I'm hungry! And we wanted to eat with you to gas you up before you had to bare out your heart like a stripper bares out her ass cheeks when she twerks!"

 A surprised laugh left my lips but was quickly turned into a startled yelp when I suddenly fell off the bed. There was an intense silence that passed and Warlo and I both did not breathe for even a second.

"You know, baring my heart like Nicki Minaj bares her ass would have been much more effective," I commented, drawing out a short laugh from Warlo.

"Yeah, probably." He smiled, standing up and reaching out his hand. "Now let's go eat some of that delicious lasagna that they are making tonight."

—————

The lasagna was in fact fantastic. Sebastian had been momentarily distracted by the food and hadn't thought about Mystery Man for a while.

A while being half an hour. Which, compared to how long he had been thinking about Mystery Man, was a short amount of time. But Sebastian took it greedily, about as greedily as he took the encouragement and hype from his friends. Warlo honestly hadn't been kidding when he said that the group wanted to gas him up. They did joke and tease him like they usually did but they added in a ton of random compliments and were constantly talking about how "confident" and "irresistible" I was. It was incredibly odd but nice nonetheless.

And once again, the lasagna was amazing.

The food at this school was five-star, honestly. 

The thoughts of food distracted me again but soon I realized that I was already a few steps away from my rock.

And that there was a good chance that Mystery Man was already here. The thought caused my heart to nervously clench and I sucked in a breath. I was not ready for this. But too soon I heard the crunching of leaves under heavy boots.

"Close you eyes." He whispered, realizing that my eyes were still wide open. God his voice was amazing. What he didn't realize was that they were wide open from nerves but I closed my eyes before he could catch on. I shakily maneuvered around the rock and sat down. I knew that it was not a smooth transition by the chuckle that he let out and my cheeks started to heat up in response. 

"Although I love spending time with you Sebastian, I do need to ask." He started warmly, his heat seeping into my back. He stood so close that I could feel the zipper of his jacket accidentally brushing against my back. My eyes relaxed and my body almost sagged. "Why did you call me here?"

With just one sentence, my Mystery man broke my calm bubble. My eyes shot open for a moment before I closed them again, not wanting to have him upset with me. 

"Uhh . . . " I trailed off, my heart working overtime in my chest. How was I going to tell him that I was in love with him?

Love?

Oh God.

This time I groaned out loud and immediately I felt his presence in front of me.

"Sebastian, what's wrong?" He asked with a slight panic, his concern so clear that it honestly hurt. I didn't really know what to tell him, or more specifically, how to tell him. I didn't know what he was going to say and that was really the scariest part of it all; the fact that I didn't know.

I had no idea or control over what would happen after I told him the truth and that scared me to no end. Yet, when I felt his hesitant touch trailing over my red cheek, I thought for the very first time that it might be worth the risk.

Better yet, it was definitely worth the risk. 

"I need to tell you something," I said suddenly, boldly at first but softly at the end. "I called you here to tell you something." My voice sounded wobbly even to my own ears. I spoke quietly now, so quietly that the sound was more air than sound. 

I just heard breathing from him for a moment before he spoke, hesitantly again.

"What is it? You seem extremely torn up about it." He paused for a moment before slowly placing both of his hands on my cheeks. "If there is anything I can do for you Sebastian, never hesitate to ask."

It sucked that he was acting so sweetly right before I would probably lose him; it made me want to cry, and I did. Tears ran down my cheeks silently and my body started to curl in on itself. 

"Hey hey hey hey hey." He whispered, his hands frantically working to wipe the tears off of my cheeks. "Come on, talk to me. You have never shied away from it before." That got a small, watery chuckle past my lips.

"I like you," I told him, my mind finally made. His hands halted but I couldn't stop at this point. "I really like you, so much, and it sucks because we have probably never properly met in real life." The tears started falling harder and my voice got hoarse. "I have no idea who your friends are, what your family looks like, what you do, how old you are. Heck, what you look like! I have no idea what you look like dammit, and I don't know your name. But I like you so much it hurts, and I think about you every single day. I want to be your boyfriend, even if you don't want to be mine, even if I don't actually know you. I want to. I want . . . you."

The tears were still heavily falling from my cheeks but he removed his hands and, from the rustle I heard, stood up. He still wasn't saying a word and I started to get worried.

"Please say something." I pleaded, my pride taking a backseat to my desperation. I was desperate, so desperate, and he still wasn't speaking. He sucked in a breath and released it again.

"Sebastian . . ." He started and by the apologetic tone of his voice, he was about to reject me. I squeezed my eyes tight, waiting for the moment. "I would like to go out with you but . . . " My eyebrows raised and a wide smile broke out on my face.

"You would?" I asked excitedly. He sighed.

"Sebastian, that's not the point-"

"No, it is. It really is." I purposely interrupted him, my smile only getting wider. "You like me?" He paused for a moment before chuckling.

"Yeah, I do." He told me with a warm tone. My cheeks were burning and when I realized that I would probably start getting tear-stained, I waved my hand and cleaned up my tears. A small gasp came from him and I smiled. "But we do have to talk about this. You seem to be forgetting that you still haven't seen me."

"That could be resolved in one second. All I have to do is open my eyes." I grinned. When he hesitated to say no, I started to open my eyes. At the speed of literal light, He jumped and covered my eyes.

"Gosh! Don't do that!" He yelled. My smile instantly dropped and I could feel his guilt come over me like a wave. "I'm sorry, I just. Sebastian, I don't know if you would actually stay with me." My face scrunched up with confusion.

"What do you mean by that?" 

"I mean that- I have dated other people before, Sebastian. I like you, but I'm worried that once we actually start dating, the glamour of . . . being with me will fade once you know the real me. The me behind closed doors when it is just you and I and nothing else." I frowned when he finished, thinking hard about how to answer.

"What can I do to prove to you that I am serious?" I decided to ask. He sighed and shuffled his feet.

"Can you- No, I shouldn't ask. We shouldn't do this." My mystery man was shooting down the first thing that came to his head and I was not having it.

"No, what were you going to say? I can take it, really." I knew that he probably didn't believe me right now but I needed him to. I needed to have a chance.

"I want you to stay away from guys and girls romantically for . . . I don't know as long as I say," he said, groaning loudly and pacing in front of me right after. "No, you don't have to do that. That is just stupid, I wouldn't."

"I'll do it. Of course, I'll do it."

His pacing immediately stopped before he quickly walked right up to me. He knelt in front of my sitting form and placed both of his hands on my shoulders.

"Sebastian, you really don't have to do this," he told me again, his hands snaking up to my cheeks. "We can just wait or you can go find a guy who doesn't have trust issues."

"But, I don't want some other guy. I want you." I tried to say again. Somehow though, I knew that he still didn't fully trust me or believe me. "And I want to prove that to you. Until you say so, I'll do exactly as I have been since the day I met you. Not flirting with a single soul because I am too obsessed with you." He was now breathing heavier and I was eager to know why. He used one hand to run his fingers through my hair and like a kitten, I leaned further into his hand, craving his touch.

"Ok," He whispered before repeating it with more conviction. "Ok. But, I want to give you something so you know I'm serious too." A small smile came onto my lips and I started moving around in my seat more, anxious and excited to find out what it was. But I was not prepared to feel his lips over mine.

They were soft, so incredibly soft I moaned the moment that they met mine. His kiss was light, yet so sure, and when he leaned in further to deepen it, I swooned. Eager, I threw my arms around him and pulled him closer. His arms went under my arms and while one snaked around my waist, the other went to grip the back of my neck.  

There was no tongue, I think that a part of both him and I knew that we weren't ready for that. But as if we were deprived of it before, we touched each other as much as we could in the situation. A few minutes passed, and all too soon, he started to pull away. With my eyes still closed, I chased his lips. I wanted more, so much more. But at this moment, that was all he would give me. 

"How was your day?" He asked me breathlessly. He was panting so hard and it brought a smile to my face to know that I was the reason why. He walked around my rock and stood behind me like he always did. But now it was different; now I knew, for the first time, that he liked me.

Now that thought had me beaming for the rest of the night.