Bell 3
Mar 05, 2016
Top comment
It seems you put in alot of time and research into writing this story. I could also see you are apply those fundamentals to your own story. Those there is two things I would to mention about the last two frames is that Akane is a little too close to the pillar. The other is the conversations between your characters seem to go by too fast and it makes a bit hard to digest the information.
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