That Evening

Oria turns to look at Rius too - I think she also forgot about him. “Um,” she starts, before nodding. “Yeah? But this man deserved it, ok? And I don’t say that lightly.”

Rius shakes his head, his expression as he looks at Oria like he doesn’t even recognise her. And then his gaze moves to land on me. “You. You did this. You did something horrible and you’ve somehow convinced Ri that that’s ok? You appear out of nowhere and you’ve suddenly got her absolutely wrapped around your finger. Ri, who has spent years in love a girl from her childhood, who has ignored all the men and women over the years who wanted to love her. Ri, who could not move on from this girl no matter how long passed…and what, it’s been a week and she’s miraculously been able to move on now? Now she’s sleeping with you, and acting like you’re all giddy and in love, when it’s been a week? What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Oh fuck off,” I spit. I know he’s Oria’s precious friend. I know she wants us to get on. I know he’s just coming from a place of care for her. I can see how it would be concerning if there wasn’t all this history between us, but…

I’m angry. 

I’m really angry. And I don’t want to justify myself and my actions to this guy. I don’t care about his opinion of me.

“You don’t know anything about me or our relationship, so don’t pretend that because you’ve been friends for a while that you know everything about her,” I move away from the table, heading towards the back door, grabbing my bow and quiver on the way out. “I don’t want to fight with you. I’m going for a walk,” I say quietly, pushing the door open.

“Temi-“ Oria calls out after me, but I shake my head. I need to cool off.

-Oria-

“The fuck was that, Rius?” I practically shout, feeling an overwhelming amount of emotions all at once. I just found out that the man who tortured me is dead, that the love of my life killed him because of what he did to me. I didn’t even get to properly thank her.

“What do you mean?! I’m trying to be happy for you, I swear I am,” Rius takes a step closer to me, but I shake my head. He’s not trying very hard, clearly. 

“Don’t you see how worrying it is though? I mean she arrives and it’s like your entire world now revolves around this woman! Just because she’s pretty? Just because she’s good in bed?”

That’s it. How dare he. How dare he. 

“How fucking dare you, Rius. How fucking dare you,” a lump forms in my throat. This is my best friend. This man knows everything that has happened in my life since I arrived here. We’ve always been close, he knows how serious I have been about my love with Artemisia. “You want to know why I condone her doing what she did to her father? Why after she appeared, I couldn’t think about anything other than her? Why after just a week, we’re so ‘giddy and in love’?” I step forwards and grab the collar of Rius’ shirt, but my anger quickly dissipates into sadness instead when I see his expression.

Rius cares about me. He knows how many people have tried to push my boundaries, how many people haven’t believed me when I said I was already in love with someone else. He just thinks Temi is trying to take advantage of me. And he should trust me, but still.

He just cares about me.

“She’s Artemisia, ok? And she has spent the past sixteen years certain that I was dead and she killed her father because of what he did to me. She has been hellbent on avenging me for over a decade and I’m just glad that she changed her plan because she was going to kill herself too and I can’t live without her, not now we finally found each other again,” I started sobbing somewhere in my speech, my grip on Rius’ collar loosening until he has to hold me up, my knees wanting to buckle. 

“I have so much trauma from what happened, y-you know that,” I gasp out, clinging to my best friend. “B-but so does she. At least I’ve had a nice life since then, minus the trauma…it’s all been horrible for her and I just want to make her happy. I just want to keep her safe and I just want to leave the past in the past,” I sob even harder as the older of my dogs pushes her head against my leg worriedly. Rius pulls out a chair and gently pushes me down into it, still holding onto me securely. 

“I’m so sorry, Ri. I had no idea. Just- just wait here, I’ll go find her and then I’ll leave you two alone. I’m sorry I fucked things up so fast, I just…” he chews on his lips, sighing. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. You’re my best friend and I love you. Platonically, obviously,” he waves his hand in the air, as if to get the idea of romantic love out of the way. He has a male lover who he has been infatuated with for several years now. He turns to the door, calling my other dog to him. The younger one instantly follows after my friend, and I just hope that the two of them can find Temi quickly.

I need her.

—————

-Artemisia-

After sending the twentieth arrow into the same tree, I finally leave the poor thing alone, collecting my ten arrows again out of it. It helped me calm down, but I still feel…shit. I just need more time. Spending such lovely moments with Oria makes me forget how fucked up I am inside, and then it all comes crashing down on me at once. It’s like I can still hardly believe that Oria is alive, like I’m expecting to wake up one day and realise that this was all a horrific dream, and that she has been dead for years. And when I’m finally able to believe that yes, she is alive, there’s still all that guilt. And there’s so much of it. About every little thing.

I just need some time. Time to live and heal, now that my father is dead and Oria is alive. Now that I’m letting myself properly feel happy about the life I could- will have with my apothecary.

It’s just a lot.

A twig snaps and I immediately level my bow at the shape in the darkness. 

“It’s just me,” Rius steps into the moonlight between the trees, Minor at his side. She instantly dashes over to me happily and I quickly put my bow away in favour of giving her head scratches.

“She needs you. I came to get you, and…to say sorry. I know I fucked up,” Rius says sincerely, his expression sad. “Please believe me when I say I genuinely care for her and just want her to be happy. She means a lot to me and she deserves the world.”

“You don’t think I’m good enough for her,” I say softly, but I’m not sure if that’s really what he thinks, or if it’s what I think. Rius quickly shakes his head, taking a step towards me.

“That’s not it, I swear. She explained that you’re the Artemisia. Which explains a lot. I’m really glad that after all this time, she finally gets to be with the person she loves. It’s what she’s always wanted.”

Looking up abruptly, I have a question burning its way through my tongue. “Are you sad it isn’t with you?”

“Oh Gods no,” Rius laughs, smiling. “I love her, I really do, but not like you do. I loved her like a bisexual discovering what a boob is - sorry,” he grimaces instantly. “I don’t mean I used her just for sex, I swear. I really did love her, and I still do. I just didn’t know what way that was, back then. I do now, now that I’m in love in love with someone else. A man,” he explains. “Are you…upset, that we were together at one point?”

“I have no right to be upset. I don’t know if Oria told you, but I’ve been selling myself since I was a teenager. It’s how this whole thing between us started a week ago - with me selling myself to her. So…no. I’m not upset that she has had a past relationship. I’m upset that it’s another part of her life I wasn’t here for. I’m upset that I could’ve spent all these years looking for her, instead of wandering around doing whatever the fuck knows I was doing, just because I was certain I heard her die. I’m upset because although we’re finally together now, there’s still so much I don’t know about her.” I stare at the grass beneath my boots and the dog sitting patiently at my feet, smiling her doggy smile at me.

“Well…she’s waiting for you to come back to her. You can’t get those years apart back, but you can make sure that there are no more years apart,” Rius says gently, moving until he’s right in front of me. “Do you want to go back now?” He asks softly, his smile kind and reassuring. Taking a deep, if a little shaky, breath, I nod.

“Yeah. I’m ready now.”

I’m ready to face her again. I won’t let my regrets, my guilt and my shame get in the way of our happy future.