Chapter 4 - Detached Palace
“Who is this gentleman?”
"I don't know. But that was really weird.”
"REALLY WEIRD! Wait..."
“SEOJUN!!!”
The two gossips ran out to call Seojun and in the blink of an eye the entire imperial guard was already behind me. I was captured before I even reached the courtyard.
While two guards held me, Seojun came and, from afar, I saw his eyes widening. He had already recognized me.
"What is happening? No, wait. Let him go. Hey, come with me.” He made a gesture to take my arm, but retreated. He was completely bewildered, not knowing whether to treat me as the imperial consort or as a bandit captured by his subordinates. The guards, used to seeing Seojun always composed and precise, looked at each other.
“Seojun…”
I was lost too. My heart felt that Seojun had come to save me from the imperial guard and I practically saw that man enveloped in light, like a saint. My mind said he would take me to the guillotine immediately. The darkness of my thoughts and the light in my heart clashed within me. Dumb heart. I stammered:
“You can release. I won’t do anything.” Before they finished loosening the arms that held me, I knelt at Seojun's feet.
“Please kill me right here.”
He dismissed the guards and asked to be alone with me.
“Please, Your Highness, stand up. How can the empress kneel before her servant!” He tried to keep his voice steady, but his disconcerted gestures exposed him. I looked up and saw his contorted face.
“Lady Tang, can we talk outside? To avoid rumors, allow me to escort you as if you were the bad guy? I apologize for my boldness, but...”
Was he trying to cover up my crime? In disbelief, I just nodded, consenting. I was completely in his hands. Him asking for forgiveness seemed like a mirage.
Seojung escorted me to a carriage and asked me to sit down. He sat across from me, nervously running his hands through his hair.
“Please Lady Tang, what is going on? Where were you going, dressed like that?”
Even though Seojun was completely beside himself at the selection, when the emperor chose me ignoring all protocols, we had created a certain bond in the many days that had passed. I wouldn't say it was affection or consideration. In fact, I thought he felt a sense of responsibility to me, the emperor's object that he was supposed to guard. But despite this, I wanted to bet on the possibility of this strange bond benefiting me in some way, through empathy or compassion. No matter how remote it was.
“Seojun, I was trying to escape. There's nothing I can say. Just kill me, please. If you don't kill me now, with your sword, I will probably die a very painful death. Please, Seojun!” I spoke hurriedly, between sobs. "I do not want to suffer. Don't let them take me, Seojun. Don't let them hurt me. Kill me. I beg."
He sighed.
“Calm down, Lady Tang.”
Another sigh.
“I don’t understand why and I wouldn’t like to say it either...”
He looked up, hesitating.
“His Majesty would never forgive me if I didn’t take you safely to the detached palace. He… holds you in high regard.”
I noticed that he was choosing his words extremely carefully, which made me alert. He must have been trying to convince me.
“You have no idea how his Majesty repeats and emphasizes that your safety needs to be guaranteed. In these days, the emperor's concern for you and marriage is so great that many state matters are..."
He fell silent, realizing he was talking too much.
“That’s exactely why, Seojun. How will his Majesty react when he finds out about my escape attempt? He will get angry. And his anger will be all directed at me. I need to die first, Seo...”
“No…” He interrupted me and I felt his discomfort. “He... seems like a obsession... He's interested in you as if... he said you...” Suddenly, he regained the firmness of his voice, as if he were declaring a judged sentence. “He ordered me to take care of you no matter what.”
I swallowed hard, realizing there was no point in saying anything else. I accepted my defeat.
"I get it."
Standing up, now completely composed, Seojun said, mechanically:
“Your Highness, everything is prepared to welcome you to the palace. The two women you met earlier will be your ladies-in-waiting and have come to help you change and get ready for the move. If you have any belongings you wish to take to the palace...”
He sighed and looked at me with a certain ... tenderness? I don't know how to define, but all those changes of expression strangely seemed to calm me down. He transpareted a humanity, a purity I had never seen.
“Lady Tang, I think you better not leave this carriage. In order not to boast what happened, I will ask everyone from the imperial diligence, until their majesty decides what to do about the situation. I'll personally escort you to the palace, so wait for me here. I will ask your ladies-in-waiting to collect your clothes and personal belongings. ”
Seojun left the carriage. I was alone. Unmarked, without any guard nearby. But I didn't have the courage to move a finger. I can't even say if it took long or was fast. I looked at the distant world, as if time had stopped. He returned with the driver and one of the ladies in waiting, in complete silence. In silence he and the lady sat down, in silence the driver pulled the horse and in a frightening silence we made the whole route.
I realized that Seojun was constantly looking at me, visibly worried. If he weren't the loyal servant of the emperor, I could imagine that he would help me. This thought made me feel even more desolate. There was no one in this world I could trust.
After overcoming the gates of the secondary palace, Seojun said:
“Lady Tang, Chun will take care of you. Anything you need, please ask her. ”
The carriage stopped and Seojun reached out to help me get down from the carriage. I looked at his extended hand ... How I wanted someone to extend their hand to me. Someone who was there for me, not at the service of a man who would decreate my death. I didn't want to hold a hand that would turn against me.
I pulled the skirt higher, and jumped off the carriage. Seojun kept looking at me, not knowing what to do. I ran to the palace door. Seojun climbed the carriage again and asked the driver to follow.
Chun and I kept looking at the carriage away, crushed by the air that seemed to weigh 16 tons.
When the guards closed the gates, Chun sighed and bowed to greet me.
“Your Highness, shall we go in? I will prepare a bath for the Lady and ask you to relax until Xia arrives with your clothes.”
I followed Chun into the palace and did everything she said as if I were a puppet. In fact, I felt like my soul was gone and my body was an empty shell.
The days dragged on. Seojun didn't come back. Nobody came back. Just me, Chun and Xia inside that huge palace. They worked all day, and I was dead in my empty shell where a suffocating anguish grew. Guards, eunuchs, and other people in charge came briefly to bring food and supplies. They rarely said anything. Upon hearing the noise of people arriving, the maids went outside, picked up the things and came back inside.
Sometimes, when they were further away, I heard their faint voices. So low that it sounded more like some noise, like wind or water.
I realized that they were both scared. Normally, I would feel guilty if I caused anyone else any bad feelings. But now it was just more information. One more noise in this out of place part of the world. I started to feel like I had already died and that abandoned place was the afterlife. Maybe Chun and Xia were angels or something.
One day, early in the morning, Seojun entered the palace with an entourage.
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