Why Are You Sorry, Darling?

Chapter 9

“Darling, do you feel any pain in your chest?” Ha. No pangs of conscience? “How strange.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“Why are you acting upset? Just the other day, you were angry at me for paying her off."

I didn’t know if he felt guilty or just had nothing to say, but he was quiet for a while. Then he furrowed his brows and spoke. “Do you know what kind of work it is that I do, my lady?”

I tilted my head. Of course I do. “You are the minister of national defense and the head of the imperial knights.”

And the youngest ever to hold that title at that. I knew all the basic information about my husband. I probably knew his secrets too. I was even aware of his confidential relationship with the hero, because I’d read the novel. So I did know the answer, but the question still seemed a little random for the situation. Oh, was he trying to point out that he was very busy working for the country?

Actually, it made sense that he found this situation odd. On the surface, I’d been acting like the real duchess and pretending he was the top priority in my life, but at this moment, I wasn’t saying the sorrowful things she would usually say, like I still love you.

That was because I’d learned in the course of my research that even words like that could count against you in divorce proceedings. In fact, there’d actually been a case in which the husband had submitted a recording of the words his wife had let slip in a moment of weakness as counter-testimony, leading to her request for divorce being rejected. I’d been shocked when I read about that, cursing the husband for being such a sneaky little rat.

So I had to be cautious at all times. The carriage stopped, and my husband’s lips, which had been about to open, closed tightly. I didn’t dwell on it. His mouth was always shut around me, and I was used to his terseness and silence. If he truly wanted to show his sincerity, he would’ve gotten on his knees, or emptied out his mistress’s home before apologizing.

It wasn’t going to happen, and my resolution wasn’t going to change either. It might’ve sounded like I would’ve taken him back if my husband suddenly did a one-eighty and begged for my forgiveness, but no dice. Even if he repented now, what would be the point of continuing a marriage with someone I didn’t like? Better for me to go to my parents’ territory and live as a good, upstanding woman with no job but lots of money.

“We have arrived, my lord.”

The coachman opened the door while many thoughts ran through my mind. Through the opening carriage door, I was able to get a glimpse of the inside of the imperial palace. Its huge presence was overwhelming. As the duchess, I’d attended events at the imperial palace as well as other nobles’ estates, so it wasn’t my first time here, but I was a little embarrassed about my outfit. Due to wearing plain clothes to meet Seira, I wasn’t dressed well enough to face the emperor or one of his representatives.

“Are we going directly to His Majesty?”

“Yes.”

I shot him a resentful look, making him flinch. “If you had told me in advance, I would’ve dressed for the occasion.” At least my clothes were clean enough... There was nothing I could do, so I kept walking. “I hope His Majesty will kindly overlook my attire.”

Fortunately, my concerns were soon resolved. Thanks to the imperial family’s knowledge of the situation and their consideration, I was barely able to change into something that didn’t violate court etiquette. But from what I remembered, the emperor wasn’t usually so generous... In any case, it was fascinating.

Emperor Bernato Lardic II was considered a benevolent and wise ruler, but he had strong tendencies toward self-righteousness. Apparently, he had all the qualities of an emperor, but his subordinates experienced hardships due to his unique nature. The same went for his sons, so both the crown prince and the hero had gone through their share of suffering because of their father. And my husband was someone who served right at his side.

He remained silent as I changed my clothes and went with him to the audience chamber. I walked without saying a word either. I started about eighty percent of our conversations, so the silence felt natural.

Just before the doors opened, my husband clenched and unclenched his fists. “My lady...” It wasn’t like him to hesitate. His gaze was filled with apprehension, and with a sigh, he spoke in a languid tone. “There’s something I’d like to tell you on our way out.”

I looked up at him but didn’t have time to respond, because a servant flung the doors open just then. As if to escape this situation, I put my hand on his outstretched arm and walked forward with light steps. After all, we were still considered a married couple at the moment we entered the room.

Inside was a large table, with empty chairs meant for me and my husband.

“It’s an honor to behold Your Majesty, the great hawk’s eye and dragon’s heart of the empire.”

"Have you been well, Your Majesty?”

“You may lift your head.”

The dignified permission fell upon our bowed heads. When I looked up, a handsome middle-aged man sitting on a throne on a slightly raised platform was smiling softly and pleasantly at us. “Welcome. I’ve been waiting for you two.”

“My apologies for keeping you waiting, Your Majesty.”

“No need. I had nothing else to do.”

My husband extended his hand and pulled out a chair for me.

“I have a great deal of interest in this matter.” The emperor looked at us and continued. “Oh. No need to sit. Let’s get straight to it without further ado.”

“But, Your Majesty—”

“Scribes, skip the unnecessary steps.”

I could tell the scribes were flustered. It felt like they were saying Eek! Not again! at the emperor’s decision to break from formality. Naturally, I didn’t know everything about him, but that was what I assumed he was like.

“Come now, I’m sure everyone here is busy. Raise your hand if you’re not.” The emperor, who was leaning on the armrest, smiled in satisfaction when no one did. There were friendly smile lines around his eyes, making him look a little younger than his age. "How wonderful it is to simply get to the point. So, may I go first? Duke DeLov. I hear you’re impotent?”

My husband’s hand, which had been holding onto his chair, slipped slightly. It was barely noticeable, but I didn’t miss it. “I...am not, Your Majesty.”

“That’s what they’re saying, isn’t it?”

“That is untrue. It is a falsehood. My wife... was mistaken.” He couldn’t grind his teeth before the emperor, so instead he pronounced each word with deliberate firmness.

“How many years have you been married to your wife, Duke?”

“Three years, Your Majesty.”

“I see. So how could she be wrong?”

Whoa. Dang. I celebrated inwardly. Nice one, Your Majesty! Before I knew it, I was warming to him. My husband slowly closed and opened his eyes. I could sense the anger being repressed in his gaze.

The emperor smiled at him and looked my way. “Then let me ask the duchess. Do you vow to tell only the truth about the contents of the petition?"

“Of course, Your Majesty. I only wrote down what I have experienced myself.” I skillfully lied without batting an eye. I wasn’t afraid of getting caught because, given the current attitude of the emperor, he probably wouldn’t ask for proof.

“Every night, I... Oh...”

“My lady!”

I pressed my handkerchief to my eyes, ignoring my husband’s yelp of protest. What do you expect? Should’ve treated me better, huh?

“Goodness, well, there’s no way to prove it, is there?”

“Of course there is! I can do so right now...”

“Haha. If it is proven that you really are sexually dysfunctional, it will put not only the empire but also the imperial family in a difficult position. Are you not the living symbol of this empire’s young blood?”

My prediction was right. Of course, if my husband really was impotent, Duke DeLov’s reputation as a symbol of swordsmanship, dignity, and might in the empire would be ruined, and the prestige of the empire itself might even be undermined.

That was to say, if he really was impotent. And the emperor didn’t even believe this was the real reason I was filing for divorce. He was blatantly just enjoying the spectacle. How did I know? Every time he said the word “impotent,” his lips twitched with amusement.

“Imp— Ahem. All right. I too shall deliver the verdict on this summary trial faster than anyone could.”

“Before you do, please allow me to defend myself!” my husband strongly requested. He was gripping the chair so hard that the edge of it had cracked a bit. I didn’t know why he was holding onto it for dear life. Did he think being accused of sexual dysfunction was so unfair?

“I cannot divorce. It’s impossible!”

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Your Majesty!”

The emperor attempted to hide his smile and turned to me. “What about you, Duchess? Would you like to stay in this marriage?”

At that moment, I looked into my husband’s red eyes. For some reason, he gazed back at me with desperation. I’d never seen this side of him before. It was very strange. I tilted my head and gave him a big smile. His expression seemed to relax slightly.

“Please divorce us.”

His handsome face crumpled up like paper.

“My feelings are unchanged, Your Majesty." How peculiar. Why does he think I’d change my mind with one look from him? I’d been looking forward to this moment. I beamed as brightly as I could at the emperor. “I no longer wish to spend my nights in tears.”

I wanted the happy, funemployed life of a highly-educated woman who was economically and socially independent. I’ll enjoy the jolly life of a single woman, so the two lovebirds can do as they please!

“My heavens... An irreconcilable difference in opinions.” The emperor smirked and touched his chin. “I have come to a decision. I hereby confer on you two a four-week waiting period."

A waiting period. My eyes widened. In other words, that was a cooling-off period that signaled that a divorce might be possible: a legal separation. Wow, so Rome could be built in a day!

The emperor made his proclamation with an expression of benevolence—no, in fact, a face full of a mischief that belied his age. In my eyes, he looked like an angel who’d come down from heaven to save me.

“You are aware that this is a period of separation before divorce, are you not?” The emperor struck the gavel lightly. “I will see you again in four weeks.”