It talked about the procedures to acknowledge the Aptus within and to hone in on it. I started 

following the guidance within the book. I needed to concentrate on the spiritual energy within and visualize something that would flow within my body, from each of my limbs, and return to the center mass of my body. I sat upright within my bed, straining to better understand. Looking within, I saw nothing but darkness. At this rate, I knew I was getting nowhere. I stayed there for what seemed like hours and eventually forgot to breathe, forcing myself to give rest to the fruitless acts. I felt defeated, but I didn’t want to give in just yet.

Mother always told me that those who give in first will forever torment themselves for the rest of their lives. I sighed, defeated. I didn’t expect words to get me through something I had to discover internally by my lonesome. I tossed the book onto the floor and lay spread out on the bed.

I closed my eyes thinking back on the origin of Aptus and how closely I resembled the people who did not receive

anything. I knew that I would take the hand of the god without hesitation if it meant I could become a great being but not for my own gain. Before anything, I’d care for my mother as she has cared so deeply for an unfortunate son. But, it seemed that was not the life I was meant to live.

Suddenly, a spark of light appeared throughout the darkness of my mind. It was the smallest of light,

barely noticeable. "Could this be..?" I was confused at first, thinking I had just fallen asleep but I was very

much awake. I concentrated on this light more and more. The light then began to grow, beginning to

drift within my body as it spread from my chest to my legs and arms, my head and feet, hands and ears,

and back to my center. As the book described, I even felt the tingling sensation of it all. “Aptus…” I said

to myself. 

I began to smile to myself, still keeping my eyes closed, afraid that opening them would cause

me to lose this feeling. The light moved more and more within me until I felt as if water had filled an

empty vase. I was delighted, I jumped from my bed and began to cheer quietly, not wanting to disturb

Mother. 

No wait, shouldn’t I tell her? 

This was good news, I would be able to learn everything Aptus had to offer! But before I could take a step forward, a sharp pain forced me to the ground. I grabbed my head as I began to agonize with pain I’d never felt before. I became tearful, the pain was so bad I couldn’t even manage a cry for help to my mother. I looked within. The energy that grew within me was beginning to burst. I couldn’t contain it anymore. The vase, my body, was overfilling and breaking. The veins within my body felt as though they were set on fire, leaving me in a crippling state. My lungs felt filled with water, having me struggling to breathe. I thought this was the end. The gods must’ve cursed me for being too greedy, not appreciative of the life I was given and only what I desired. I could curse no one but myself, as I slowly crept further and further away from the land of living. 

I felt a cold sensation in my chest that wrapped around my neck. It was the amulet my mother gave me when I first started my lessons with Mr. Leon. I felt my entire body spasm at the overflowing Aptus clashing with my surroundings. Sparks began to fly within the room. I could hear the sound of objects being tossed around as I still was unable to move. The sporadic sparks gave way to explosions. They eventually got louder and larger as they

continued. 

"Nero!" a faint voice was barely heard over the loud ruckus. Ah yes, my beautiful mother. 

As I turned my head towards the door, one of the sparks forced it back close as she tried to open the door. I could hear her deafening screams and the despair in her voice. Another spark formed between the door and myself only to set off immediately, causing my body to recoil as I flew and hit the wall across from where I originally lay. The spark blinded me, but I still felt the pain that came with it. It was worse than the first sparring session I’ve ever received. No type of punishment could be compared to the pain present. 

I heard the forming of another spark. I wanted my suffering to end. My light was getting dimmer by the second. I closed my eyes, becoming one with the pain. The spark grew louder. I was ready and accepted my fate. Only, I heard it, but never felt it. I let go and allowed the darkness to consume me entirely.